Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
There are two kinds of slavery. One of the body and the other of the mind. How is it that we get the idea to gamble? It first starts in the mind. A thought that triggers an action. The lies we allow ourselves to believe and repeat to ourselves. You know the lies, I could get more money, I will just play my free money, I can walk away this time and it goes on and on and on. How is it that you became a slave to your thoughts? How did you become a person who can reason away facts and believe lies? How did you start thinking the way you do? Have you ever heard, You are what you think.
It is not enough to be at the end of the rope, to lose an entire paycheck, to not have grocery money, to have overdrafts, to cry and think of death, to speak ugly to yourself to max out credit cards, to steal from family, to have NO HOPE at all. All these things do not stop you from returning back to the insanity and why, because we have become
a slave to the mind. The mind is now in control. What have you feed your mind? What did you think about all day? Something is going to control your mind, who or what will that be?
My motivation to stop the insanity is, I wanted a clear mind again. I wanted to trust me again. I didn't want to be a slave to my addiction, I wanted freedom from it. I wanted to have communication with God again. I wanted to be trusted again. I wanted to be happy
again. I wanted to like me again. I wanted my mind to think on good things, not the garbage that it was a slave to.
Tonight I caught up with all of the post, and my heart goes out to all that are hurting. See I have been real busy, not gambling. I have been praying and I got back to doing the things I did before I let myself get so sad. (Death of my mom, started me going to the casinos) I have to get myself out of a money mess, so that is not going to happen
with me thinking about running to a casino. Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
Let that one sink into your mind. Yes every time you entertain the thought of gambling think of a dog returning to his vomit. Also think of the chains that have griped your mind.
Those chains are the thoughts you meditate on all day.
As for me, I was done with being a slave to my foolishness. Do I have to fight the thoughts?
Yes. I will not say it has been easy, but I have to remind myself daily that I am worth so much more then this bondage I created.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
It is not enough to be at the end of the rope, to lose an entire paycheck, to not have grocery money, to have overdrafts, to cry and think of death, to speak ugly to yourself to max out credit cards, to steal from family, to have NO HOPE at all. All these things do not stop you from returning back to the insanity and why, because we have become
a slave to the mind. The mind is now in control. What have you feed your mind? What did you think about all day? Something is going to control your mind, who or what will that be?
My motivation to stop the insanity is, I wanted a clear mind again. I wanted to trust me again. I didn't want to be a slave to my addiction, I wanted freedom from it. I wanted to have communication with God again. I wanted to be trusted again. I wanted to be happy
again. I wanted to like me again. I wanted my mind to think on good things, not the garbage that it was a slave to.
Tonight I caught up with all of the post, and my heart goes out to all that are hurting. See I have been real busy, not gambling. I have been praying and I got back to doing the things I did before I let myself get so sad. (Death of my mom, started me going to the casinos) I have to get myself out of a money mess, so that is not going to happen
with me thinking about running to a casino. Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.
Let that one sink into your mind. Yes every time you entertain the thought of gambling think of a dog returning to his vomit. Also think of the chains that have griped your mind.
Those chains are the thoughts you meditate on all day.
As for me, I was done with being a slave to my foolishness. Do I have to fight the thoughts?
Yes. I will not say it has been easy, but I have to remind myself daily that I am worth so much more then this bondage I created.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
I have been with you for a few years now, and the relationship is not working for me.. I won't set back and say that you have never given me anything because you have. But I see that was a ploy to keep me coming back to you over and over for you get me hooked and for to keep imagining what I once had..
You, have taking me down hill, had me lie to my family and drove me to bankruptcy, overdrafts, took retirement money and yet I felt weak and kept coming back. Everytime I said it was over, you would flash those bright lights at me with promises of cars, trips, cruises and millions of dollars only if I gave you more money and I came running back, only to see that you had given it away to someone else...causing me pain and more money out of my pocket.
When I was stressed, you said come to you because you would make feel better and briefly you did allowing me to leave my problems at the door, but when I left you I had more problems.
You told me I was special and when I came and saw someone touching on you and you giving them money, I was jealous and angry, but you said that I was only one for you and it was more to go around, so I waited my turn to set infrint of you, press your buttons, hold your arm and rub my hands across your face, as you smiled at me, telling to look up at all the money that you may give you, only if I treated you rite and feed you $100 after 100.. And you never gave anything...
You told not to pay my bills on time, to come you with my paycheck and you would make all of my bills go away with a lot of money.. When I lost my paycheck, you told me that it wasn't my time and to come back to you again because you owe me now... When I ran back to you with more money to get my paycheck, you took that too... I'm leaving you again I said, and you laughed and said I will be back. Reminding me that I don't drink or do drugs and this was a safe place to escape...
You took me to dinners, hotels and shows, but I had to pay a hearty price for and you told me you would pay me back and never did... when I cried to you, you told me it would be ok and you would give me $25-50 a week and I could make money off that, but when I got what you gave me, I had to pull 10x that amount leaving me broke and distraught...i said I was leaving you again so you teases me with 777 and threw money at me... I was so happy thinking that you did care, and I was wrong to doubt you, but once the money came you made me stay with you and sent me home only after you had taken every dollar until I had no more.
I get in my car over and over and screaming and crying thinking why do I stay... I want to tell someone what you do to me but I ashamed... Why can't I leave you why?
The day came when you took my mortgage money, and had nowhere to turn... You started telling me to bring what little I had left and you would make sure you game me more that what I had to cover my bills and my problems would be over..
I set back and thought about coming back because I need you, but then I looked in the mirror, looked around at the people I love and love me, i found DS, I began reading about others you have lied to, taken thier money, made them sick and realized that I wasn't alone and not ashamed...so finally I have gained the strenght to leave you... You won't be able to tempt me with your trips, fancy cars, money etc.. Because I won't be able to come near you for a year unless I risk the chance of jail and you are not worth it..
I hope whoever is in a relationship with you leaves you dusty and with that one arm, and broken buttons...
Good by my Luv, I hope we never meet again.
I can see it all. You walk away with your head held high, never to return to dirty luv. Good job!
Thank you, your words of support is so welcomed and appreciated... I tried to fight it but it is a loosing battle...so I am getting the help that is needed.... I don't believe I have stayed with anyone who cause me this much pain nor would you be a slave to a person who made you miserable.
We will get through this and I am going get myself busy even going back to school.. The money and time I have spent, I could have had Masters, and PhDs, but I won't dread on the past I am only looking forward to the future.
We are all getting through this together
Rant to My Machine
We were like drinking buddies
Except it was all about gambling
We did not really care about each other
It was all about gambling
We had opposing goals
Me to get your bells, whistles and sweet oblivion
And yours was to get my money
It was all about greed
Except you did not play fairly
You had no investment
I was just your next mark
It was not about gambling
I can't really fault you for that
I knew when I met you
That was the very purpose
For which you were designed
It was not about gambling
It was about strawberry fields,
Big rock candy mountains and
Calgon, take me away.
I thought I loved you
I thought we had a connection
I thought you knew me
It was all about NOT thinking
It was about addiction and pain
While you eased my pain for a minute
Your tendrils spider-webbed
Throughout my soul
While I sat with you
My real friends drifted away
Or worse, they died
You did not bat your big blue eye
While I sat with you
My morals drifted away,
My money drifted away,
My dreams and hopes drifted away.
You are just the same
And I am ruined.
I came to say goodbye today
I am putting you away.
I am adding you to the pile of things and people
That ultimately make me feel worse
You will live now with Cocaine, Heroin, alcohol,
Mean people, incestuous step-fahters, rapists and ex-husbands
I am locking you up with those that abused me
I am returning to the world
No matter how painful and sorry
To face the messiness grounded in reality.
It was never about gambling
For either of us
For you, the purpose for which you were designed
For me life and death.
Copyright P Parks 2014
Thank you for sharing your letter......
my therapist appointment is the 10th of August, and I am attending my first GA meeting tonight...I have never been so excited to discuss my addiction with strangers a day in my life, but I know every step that we take will get us closer to where we want to be....
Where I want to be is at peace and in control of my life..
Warning labeled needs to be placed on machines and tables at the casino like cigaretts... WARNING... May cause Loss of Jobs, Careers, Family, A Place to live, Savings... Causes Depression, Suicides, Stress, inability to function, Lies, Pain, etc... I think I would have thought twice.
I told my kids never to smoke and they have to pick up the habit, now I am telling them don't gamble, watch the signs and they will be getting the warning labeles from me..
because I've fought to become her."
@marieH2, @sbailey67, @qwit4good - It's amazing that we can find beauty in our everyday lives now that we are moving on from gambling. I think we forget in our daily lives that the world's median income is $2,920 per person. I think we forget how blessed we are to have all that we do and how it is a privilege and a responsibility not to squander such wealth.
Gambling makes us take a lot of things for granted that others sit around and pray for. In the midst of gambling, we forget much it means to have our families and friends love, trust, and support us. In the midst of gambling, we forget how beautiful the simple things are, like watching a sunrise or a sunset, playing with a child or a pet, or taking a walk with our significant other. In the midst of gambling, we lose all sense of grace and gratitude.
I've fought to become the best version of myself I can over the past 28 days. And I will continue to. As @marieH2 said, I'm not going to be a dog returning to its vomit. Life has so many gifts, but you can't see them through the distorted lens gambling creates.
All things that really matter take a back seat to this addiction.