That is why an addict is sometimes described as an "Egomaniac with an inferiority complex"
We certainly are a complicated bunch...
Kiki

My ego blotted out reality. I thought, in time, that I'd get a grip, thought I could gain some control over it, maybe even give it up for good. My ego also masked my lies, I told myself many times, everyone has secrets, you don't have to tell anyone, everything. More nonsense, that's all that was. Telling myself, lies are just secrets, in my fantasy land, everyone had secrets. I trusted no one. Everyone lies. I couldn't be happy, even if I tried, so I lied some more, about how I was feeling, what I really thought, some fantasy land, eh?

Little ol' me, learned, I had a humongous EGO...all caps E G O

I said, "Hello, ego", ego said, "I don't know you"...

Where getting along so much better these days, my ego and i...

Egos, can't live with one, can't live without one ;)

I love AH HA moments! The light goes on, I get it, I finally get it...maybe...lol

I was amazed to find out my ego didn't know me, and I didn't understand it... lol Boy, am I really making lots of sense now! But it's true...today a little bit of ego goes a long, long way! Will always be checking on it, cannot let it get as inflated as it once was! Mind threatening.

Good discussion...thanks, e'one

You are right!! The light bulb went on and I made a connection. I don't know if I would have made that connection without being on here.

So, now the question is, how do you deal with a husband that is a CG and has a giant EGO!?!? I am looking to hear your suggestions!!

How do you deal with a husband that is a CG and has a giant EGO!?!?

You don't. You can't. It's his inflated ego. At this point, you have to take care of you. You have to stand your ground. You know he's still gambling and lying to you, no amount of discussion, on your part, is going to stop him from feeding his addiction. Don't give him any money, and don't be afraid to tell him why. When you know he's lying to you, let him know, you know. Stand your ground, take care of yourself. You take the steps to help yourself. Your H has admitted he has a prob, I suppose you could call it that, so, it's a prob, what's the solution? We all have prob's were not ready to deal with yet, but calling an addiction, a problem, is an attempt to minimize what his real prob is, it's an addiction of the mind. No cure, but like many problems, there are solutions. Number 1 - make the decision to stop gambling...and it goes on from there. Giant egos come in all shapes and sizes, but it's the totally inflated ones, that, unfortunately, can be conniving, aqnd need to be avoided. We're here for you, that can be how you begin to deal with his ego...we're here for you.

Hugs

My favorite acronym for EGO is
Edging
God
Out

Ain't that what we do when we try to run our lives on our own?
Kiki

Good acronym for ego, I like it :)

I love all of this. And you are right, admitting he has a problem is minimizing the situation if you don't move towards a solution. You don't have to worry, I am here daily. I may not post or respond to a post, but I am here daily learning and healing myself. This is all much needed information.

Hi chskee.
Here are my feelings and thoughts also :
My hubby had feelings of 'ego and Pride 'in not accepting my addiction. He preferred I 'stop on my own '.. stay at home.(was a reflection on HIM ??..
My siblings were not so 'open either about my problem.. like put it under the rug.. hush up .
After all no one wants to admit there is a problem in the ''litter'box''. lol.
I went outside of the 'family to get help.
Family hold much Pride.. which enables many a cg .. I know 'I did the same 'when 'married to an alcholic 'I covered up all his stuff'.it was a reflection on me til I became Educated..
Ego and Pride. comes in all shapes and sizes and 'all folks have it..
Mine got bigger as my addiction 'grew'.
I knew it 'and had to break free of my families 'Pride.
I seen it in their faces when I said am in Gamblers Anonymous.
Addressing this addiction takes Education..BReaking the 'myths..which I 'had also of 'what a cg is :. lower than 'any culture.
Not today.....
Pride 'I do have.. I pride myself on looking nice. I pride myself on 'being free .Am not pridefull Today..
Ego I have ,, egotistical , egomaninac I think that has been quelled with 'being 'free of gambling also and 'sharing 'daily..
Takes Great EGo and Pride to Keep a Secret..which means ''Many defences. and so many lies.
Some folks lie 'and their problem is not visable.. MINe was ''I gambled. to hide out..
Some hide out in 'relationships I did that to.
blamed all my problems on the 'alcoholic in that life .. Alanon Restored that mindset..
Gamblers Anonymous 'gave me a way out 'of Gambling with a simple program I use Today 'even though I don't attend..
Counselling helped with issues burried in fragile emotions of past 'childhood pain..
Survival .. The lengths I went to 'know I don't have to 'just survive ';but learn to Live..Today.
Less Ego..Less Pride..More Honesty..
Be well 'gams5..Gamanon works..Alanon works.GA.. Na.. AA. its all out there..

Not sure how old your husband is I was born in the 50's and was brought up that what happen in your house stayed in your house.So I grew up thinking I was the only kid on the block who's Dad had a drinking problem.Today I know that's not true. And as far as admitting I was a CG for me had to do with my not wanting to say I had a problem with gambling cause that meant I was weak. I was taught to suck it up and slove my own problems.And for ego I used it to in hope that people would like me and see me as a wonderful and successful person.God what if they knew I came from a family of addicts or that I was sexually abused at a young age.
Tough growing up with issues like this and not thinking you can share them.Holdig onto these beliefs and continuing to gambe almost cost me my family my home and my job.And due to my pride or ego if you like it nearly cost me my life.Hope your husband gets it sooner than later but like Moyer said you have to take care of yourself first.If he sees you are doing something for your recovery he may follow along.Will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
Ken L GRCG ODAAT

Hi Ken, boy does that hit the nail on the head with me! That's exactly how it was. You looked, walked talked the perfect family. NO ONE ever mentioned a PROBLEM NEVER!! We grew up at the country club and I was molested by the lifeguard for 2 summers. How could I not tell. It Must have been my fault!!! My mom lived in her bedroom at times just like me. Just a life of secrets!!! But Boy did my family look good on the outside!!! Isn't that just sick. I think that's why I'm so devestated. I think that's why I'm soo Angry. Yes, the secret was kept (Hooray) at what expence, my mother is dying and NEVER got help. THIS HAS TO STOP NOW. I have to Break the silence and disappoint!!! You are all so right in that it will never end until we become Honest!!! So sorry to get off subject I'm sure this should have been a journal but it just hit me.

hello,

when I realized I had an ego, i also realized that I was EASING GOD OUT. EGO

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