Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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snowgirl52 04/22/2016

One of those days today. Having very bad urges to go gamble. This is hard. Some days I find better than others. The financial stress is so overbearing at times. I am the main provider for my family. I am able to make the bills and that is about it right now. I realize I got myself here over time and I know it will take time for me to feel that things are getting better. I still have a substantial debt hanging over me with a company that provided check cashing at the casino. I always paid no matter what I had to do so of course I was considered a VIP member. The limit would raise every few months. My last horrific episode at the casino resulted in me using my limit which was about $3700. That was almost a 36 hour ordeal.
I had most of the money to cover this but it meant bills would not be paid and it was all we had. After fessing up to what I did and coming clean about the financial situation I had myself in, my spouse pretty much took over. He transferred all of the money before all of the casino checks cleared. We have attempted to work out a payment plan but of course no one responds from the company. They have just sent slips though twice now that I owe this debt. My husband tells me to focus on recovery and he will handle things with these people.
I worry every day. I think about it constantly. I don't know if they will sue me or arrest me. The dark cloud is over my head every day.
I am continuing to work on my recovery because I have to. I know I can't go back and try to win back this money. It will never happen. It will only make me feel like a failure and worse than I already feel. So I will keep taking a day at a time and hope at some point someone will speak to us so I can get resolution for this burdensome issue.
Just want to say I am so grateful for this site. Everyone has been very supportive and understanding. It provides a way for me to vent these feelings. Thank you and God Bless.

Twoyearsclean 04/22/2016

Part of my recovery was handling all my problems, had my spouse handled the problems I created, I would have easily forgotten how I got there.

The disease works OVERTIME convincing me I do not have it, so I embraced every payment, every responsibility. Each encounter reminded me I was sick, It took me 10 years, two months to pay off the last of the gambling debts. Every check I wrote a reminder I am sick and need to know I am powerless over gambling. Still going strong now and almost at 11 years.

It will all work out, and consequences must be there, lest we forget. The important part is that you do it one day at a time,every day. You can do this.

Roxxxy26 04/23/2016

Set up road blocks

Qwit4Good 04/23/2016

It sounds like you have set up a couple of roadblocks. Hubby handling finances. You may want to participate or it may be overwhelming. Self-banning at the casino might be a good step. The first few months, I had to reread my goodbye to gambling several times to remind myself of what I do not want to go back to. I also was facing prosecution. The urges and anxiety was overwhelming at times. I discovered with the help of my sister who is an artist that artwork of any kind, (it does not have to be good) really relieves anxiety and urges. Somehow just putting a collage together or throwing color onto an empty page does something that is soothing. My psychologist sister says art actually changes your brain, it gives your gambling impulse another path.
Give it a try.
In fact try everything you can to get between yourself and gambling, you are fighting for your life here.
Prayers and Hugs

snowgirl52 04/23/2016

Thank you all for the suggestions. I know I have a very long road ahead of me. I have set up several road blocks. They have worked as far as keeping me from doing something I shouldn't. Have to get through this anger phase I have. So mad this addiction has taken so much control from me. The debts I just have to deal with and be thankful I have not lost everything. My family stands by me, I have great, supportive people in GA and here who give me hope, guidance and a lot of inspiration with their own stories. I have gotten by another day. Progress:)

nancyzoman 04/26/2016

I think there is something about the 8-9 month mark. You feel like you're over it, you see your life has changed in many positive ways, but you're still addicted. You still have signs of addiction, you still have urges, your brain is still rewiring itself to new pathways to deal with stressors, and you're still not completely past it, even if we think we are sometimes.

I think that it's important to remember "One day at a time." I'm on month 10 as of Sunday, and it's still hard sometimes. Anytime I face a difficult circumstance, anytime I feel ashamed, anytime I feel like I can't handle my life, anytime I get a big influx of cash, I immediately want to go to the casino for a few hours.

But I'm here, and that's the most important thing. When you realize that everything in your life depends on your Recovery, you realize that not going is the vital thread that is holding everything together.

highlimit 04/26/2016

I am on month 17 and still get random thoughts and urges about gambling. It's odd because my heart doesn't want to gamble. I am at peace with the reality that I can never gamble again. It's like instinctively my mind immediately goes to that reflex the way nancyzoman described. I am just equipped with the tools now to combat those thoughts effectively and prevent them from controlling my decision making. But they do seem to come from nowhere unexpectedly. That's why it's important to constantly exercise the muscles we've gained in recovery. If you don't keep those tools in good working order you won't have them when you need them most. I don't know if the thoughts about gambling or urges to gamble will every completely go away. What I do know is the more time that passes the easier it becomes to ignore them.

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