I don't have the answers for you but I do hope you hang in there until this passes or until you can get help with it. You are under an enormous amount of stress which can wreak havoc on the psyche. You are doing the right thing by not gambling. Remember that and maybe it will help as the minutes, hours and days go by. Will be thinking of you. Take extra good care of yourself right now.

What I know about deep depression and hopelessness is that it feels absolutely paralyzing and it seems it will never end...and it always lifts, eventually. Can you think of just one thing that you are grateful for right this minute? Can you remember jut one thing you did last time that helped? Hang on to those slender threads, take good care of yourself, and rest in the certainty that by not gambling, you are paving the way for something better. Maybe things won't change immediately (although I surely wish they would for you!) but at some point they will. Sometimes I have to force myself to take action in spite of having no motivation. Once I do something (like making myself write in my journal or take a walk), it usually helps, and that motivates me to do more.

I know that withdrawal from gambling also makes us depressed. Because we gambled, dopamine and serotonin levels got out of whack. That primal system that tells us things are good got hijacked by gambling to the point that we needed the gambling to produce the amount of dopamine that gave us a good feeling. Essentially compulsive gamblers are addicted to a drug made by our own bodies. Gambling was the vehicle we use to inject it into our bloodstreams and hence our brains. This is a withdrawal from drugs in some ways, when we quit. My counselor told me it takes 90-120 days for our systems to begin to adjust to not gambling and start making the normal amount of dopamine. (This is why watching someone else gamble is the same as gambling for your brain.) I was miserable as you describe for about 3 and 1/2 months.
Exercise helps a little as it makes your body make dopamine in much lower levels. So does chocolate. This is also a time that you must be on the lookout for your inner addict to try to switch addictions. Shopping, eating, exercise and work addictions are common amongst us compulsive gamblers. It will get easier, if you just keep on course, Just try to deal with the next right thing, one thing at a time if you can. Gambling might make us feel good for a minute, like any drug, but the problems will be the same or worse when we are done. We ARE those folks who cannot quit when we are ahead. The only way for us to be ahead is not to gamble.

Today I will not gamble. I’ve suffered from depression my entire life, or so it seems. I’m on antidepressants and have been for years. When I was gambling my depression was always running rampant, unchecked, like a monster that was always there, despite my meds; sometimes I blamed my antidepressants for my other addictions, sometimes I felt like an experiment gone bad. I abused my antidepressants, some people would wonder how you could do that. Mix them with alcohol. That was hard to type, but it’s the truth, that’s how I was when I was gambling, self destructive. Gambling lived in my depression, snug and comfy. My depression loves to look for self destructive avenues, almost like it’s easy to do. Since I quit gambling I still have some rough days where I battle my depression, but I’m beginning to poke holes in my self destructive behavior by caring more about myself.
Things I love to do now... anything with my family, my kids and my beautiful granddaughters, and needle crafts, painting, reading and most recently long walks with my husband. Lots of reading, all kinds of subjects. I’m even enjoying movies! Kid movies, too. My heart has grown, like the Grinch.
Give yourself time.

Thanks everyone. It helps to hear that others have suffered like this , with this and that it gets better. 3 and a half months seems like a lifetime. It's been 2 months and no relief in sight. And then all the other things going on in my life are ridiculous. It is all too much. I so appreciate every ones response, I needed some input because there is nothing positive coming out of me. God Bless

You might start telling yourself "I love you" on a daily basis in the mirror. It may sound ridiculous, but it really helps one's self image. Finding and saying an affirmation in the morning helped me. I have a book of daily affirmations now, but I remember just saying simple ones like: "All things come to me for the greater good of all." or "The universe surrounds and protects me as I move through the world." It really helped to count my blessings - keeping a daily gratitude journal helped me get through the first year.