Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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6 mos 18 days

Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc

My life feels better without gambling, because I'm learning to love myself.


I'm happier without gambling, because I've stopped lying to myself.


Good things continue to happen without gambling, because actually, they always have, it's just that now I'm grateful and present for them.


WHO am I writing about here?  ME  


WHY am I writing about me?  Because that's why I'm here.  To write about how it was when I gambled, and how it is now, 6+ mo's, without it.  So, I'm here writing about my experiences, my feelings, and my thoughts.  Sharing with others, who understand, is an important part of my recovery, I'm grateful for your insight and feedback.  


I've been asking myself, what are "triggers"?  People, places and things?  Emotions and thoughts?  Or are they just reasons and excuses why I've relapsed so many times before?  I say yes to all the above.  I can't get rid of all people, places and things in my life, nor would I want to.  Emotions and thoughts, those are all mine, I can change the way I feel if I want to badly enough, one negative thought at a time.  Triggers are reasons and excusesto gamble again, but only if I allow them to be; I've learned this from my past experiences.  


I'm not here to judge anyone.  As a matter of fact, I believe we are an outstanding group of individuals here.  Now I'm guessing you all know why I'm writing about triggers and judgement, huh?  Because, to me, triggers are like judgements, very unique and personal.  


And I'm done!  Tag you're it!  Write about your feelings and thoughts.  









itsjustmeagain
itsjustmeagain
my triggers were happiness.....believe it or not, i guess i didnt like being happy cause then i would sabotage that by convincing myself to reward myself by gambling

close a deal at work, make good commission....go... it will be fun.....ive gambled for so long and only had a small amount of collective abstinence, i always seem to find my way back....although im a compulsive gambler, i do have blocks that stop me in mid bet and go home, its my little "see im not so bad trick" but i am, and its just to fool myself

my time not gambling has been so peaceful and rewarding its just a new level of contentment i want to hold on to this time.....
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
Hey itsjustmeagain,
Happiness, huh? I get it. People go out to celebrate, sometimes to a casino. I remember forcing myself to leave when I broke even, HA! Once! I was only fooling myself then, too, like you, it was my effort at your "see I'm not so bad trick". I thought I could change my complusive gambling ways by playing little head games with myself. Today I'm all about facing life head on! No more head games, excuses or reasons to gamble. I will do my best to face my fears head on without gambling.
stayingfocused
stayingfocused
well said robin-mc

i am 3 days without gambling...again...ive relapsed so many times. i had 54 days clean, recently, and then had a horrible month of august and early september...i stop but i go back, convince myself that i need the rush, then hate myself for depriving my family of my time and money...i get so frustrated. im 52 years old, self employed, with no retirement plan because ive destroyed that option...and im scared im going to end up losing my family...im well aware that money lost cannot be the premise for wanting to feel better about myself abd recover...but each time i go into abstinence
...i start worrying about money lost and money in general and i think that triggers me...im going to try and get into ga...i dont know if it will help...i wish there was a prescription that turned it off
Robin-Mc
Robin-Mc
3 days of abstaining from placing a bet, that's good. I know it's not easy. It's only natural you're worrying about money, you have a family and money is for survival, but worrying doesn't help anything. Gambling costs money, right? By not gambling that's money that can be spent on other things, right? I have these types of conversations with myself all the time. I ask myself what is the next right thing to do, right now? The next right thing is never going to be gambling. I'm a compulsive gambler, to gamble is never going to be the next right thing to do, not for me. So what's left? Think back to before you became addicted to gambling. What did you enjoy then? You might have to go way back, I know I have to. I love arts and crafts. I love to read. I love to cook. I love music. I love camping and easy hiking. I love swimming. I love hanging out with my kids and my grandkids. I love gardening. I love long baths. I love a good movie and some popcorn! What do you love to do? Think about it. Also, think about doing "the next right thing" and what that means to you. Please give yourself time to start feeling better about your life. As time passes, life will get better and easier for you, if you abstain from gambling. It's one day at a time. Sometimes it's one moment at a time. Hold on tight! WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE KNOW! Today I will not gamble.
Qwit4Good
Qwit4Good
Well done Robin. My triggers were abundant. Especially any negative feelings or circumstances. (Or what I viewed as negative: death of a friend, conflict, money issues.) But similar to Itsjustmeagain, I also would be triggered to celebrate when good feelings or circumstances came up. The upshot for me was that at the peak of my gambling everything triggered me because I was addicted. That is the answer for all addicts - whatever is happening, good or bad the reaction is more of our addiction. After a year or so of abstinence only the more unpleasant things made me want to gamble. After another year it seemed what I viewed as unpleasant or negative became just another part of life.

Staying focused: you need to have plans for your time - create something else to do and put some roadblocks between you and your money to stem the bleeding when you do end up gambling. (Hugs and prayers to you - 54 days was close to getting passed the initial withdrawal.) Keep trying and don't give up, if you fail you need to add more to your plan. Seeking professional addiction counseling and GA can be helpful.