Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Fifty days ago I was a disaster. I had just relapsed after being gamble free for 8 weeks! I was contemplating suicide, and did not have any more energy to start any type of program again. I felt defeated in all areas of my life and everything fell apart. I had no hope. That was gone! I fell into a deep depression and cut off all ties to the outside world. I stayed in bed for 3 days straight, then, by some miracle I dialed the number of someone who Knew my pain and knew exactly what to say to bring me back. I think of her as my GF angel. I had no expectations of how this time back in recovery would work, but I knew that if my life did not change, instead of celebrating 50 days of recovery, my children would be counting the 50 th day of my death. I am soo happy I chose to live. I too struggle with urges and temptations, but I know that death lays in a casino for me. What makes this time different for me? I do not know. I just know that today for this moment I am not gambling!!!! Thank you god for that!!!! Thank you for reading!
jay
You are wonderfull!
You go girl!
Love you, Vicky.
The magnitude of what you said hit me like a ton of bricks, when you talked about how your children would be counting the 50th day since your death, had you not reached out to your Angel....I have a sneaky suspicion of who that person might be, and Lord knows they have an uncanny ability to bring such clarity to an otherwise, dismal feeling of pain and despair. You are truly blessed by having this person in your life, as many of us are.
Congratulations for coming back from the brink of depression and despair....you matter in this world, and you make a difference, despite how others may try to make you believe otherwise. There is only one person who gets the right and privelege of causing us hurt-that is us! No one else should be able to impose punishment upon us, unless we give them permission to do so. And gracious me, I am perfectly capable of doing a very fine job of that all on my own-I don't care to allow others the opportunity to chime in as far as that's concerned.
Kick your heels up, shout to the rafters, 50 days clean and going strong! You, and the new life you choose to live are so, so precious, and worthwhile. Never forget to remind yourself of that each and every day, right after looking yourself in the mirror and saying, "Today, I Will Not Gamble".
We are with you and will always be here to support you! Thanks for sharing with us-your input helps us to grow in the process, as well!
Love and continued strength, dear friend...
Tagg
Yet, that is how cunning, baffling and powerful this thing is. There is a quote The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he did not exist. , that is how I perceive this disease.
I am just so happy for you, that you are doing all you can, to make your life a better one for you and your children. Never give up, never give in. Love and hugs, Estel
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us and what you have faced in your life. Congratulations on 50 days - that's awesome! You sound like a wonderful person and you truly deserve happiness. Thank goodness for the angel you reached to get started on this journey - there are no accidents. Be proud of what you've accomplished so far and one day at a time.
Smokeygirl
anyway, congrats on your recovery, keep at it, be strong. i don't plan on going back to gambling, i once made a video diary of when i was gambling, i literally couldn't speak, i was choking from having gambled, i couldn't say a word, i was so broken and upset at myself. i have that imagine of myself in my mind, how screwed up i was, and i was suicidal all the time, badly. i never thought i would love myself again. then i realised i am moving on, i am going to be strong and happy without the machines, or the lottery ticket, or the scraties. because life is a mystery we do not know what tomorrow will bring and that in itself should be excitement to live another day and life is short, we can not spend the rest of life in that hell hole, for real now. it was an experience, and we kciked and screamed, doing all sorts of crazy things, thinking all sorts of crazy thoughts, just to get the monkey off our backs, i did a lot through gambling, trying to quit it and trying to go back to it. it's not a hell hole i want again. it is worse that someone else abusing me, it is like i am my own worst enemy and that is not on, anymore. time to clear our mind, and have confidence that we are not only smarter than the machines, we are also stronger than machines, and other forms of gambling. just block it out of our lives, ignore it. it is an exercise we have to do for the rest of lives, ignorance can be useful in that sense, as in just ignore it, walk by as if gambling is your ex and it doesn't exist anymore, it can't control you, you can't be hurt by it anymore, you can't get anything from it beside the usual madness. say to yourself, you can and you will do it. you are now in a relationship with reality, so act like you know.
Congrats on 50 days! That's awesome! I know that you're in a much better place than the demon that brought you here.
Keep fighting for yourself each and ever day because you are most definitely worth it.
Xxxoooxxoo
Lisa
Thank you! Rachel