Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hello everyone, I have been reading the board for a few months now. I finally decided to join and post my story. I wish everyone the best with fighting this addiction. There are some great people on here that give wonderful advice.
I hope my story helps some, including myself. I am in a different situation than most on here.
I have been gambling for around 15 years or so. I have never gambled anything I couldn't afford to pay back and never stolen to gamble. My early gambling days centered on betting on sports and playing poker and blackjack online. I would maybe do a casino once or twice a year. I definitely lost more than I won my first few years of gambling. I started playing small whether $25 on a game, maybe up to $100 the most. The casino maybe $10 a hand on blackjack. I didn't like losing the $ but it didn't put me in a bad spot. I definitely chased some losses, got lucky at times, but definitely lost at times. The betting on sports would be time to time. I would have good weeks, then a bad beat in there and I would say thats enough and take time off, maybe even a few months.
A few years into gambling I began betting bigger on sports and at the casino. I have some big wins. I won a large amount playing blackjack all night long. Also won 2k on a single sports bet and someone told me once you bet big its hard going back to betting small. That person was definitely correct.
I continued gambling over the years in stages having success and of course the bad weeks and give it all back. The roller coaster ride.
However, the last few years with sports betting has been very profitable. Throughout that time though I have made some very big wagers and not its even more difficult to go back betting smaller. I don't get the same rush and saying I should have bet more on it. But by betting large and going on a cold streak it will kill your bankroll.
Last year I wanted to stop betting. I won a nice amount of $ after giving some back but still wasn't happy. For example if I won 4k in a week but at 1 point I was up 6k I wanted to be at 6k or higher by the end of the week. I stopped a little over a year ago and made it clean for about 110 days till winter and football season.
I had a great run, made lots of $. I put 2/3 of my winnings on the Seattle Seahawks in the super bowl and if anyone saw how that game ended, lol. I said okay I will walk away with $ and be happy. I last 5 days. With that $ I tripled it. I ended up having a bad beat in a game and then risked the rest of my winnings on another and lost it all.
I took a few days off made 1 more play big bet and lost. I took 5 weeks off and get the impulse to bet and went on a hot streak. Won 4 weeks in a row, then lost 1 week, won the next. I have won a large amount of $ but its never enough. Always want more. Chasing my highest winning point.
I have a good job and great pension when retire. No financial problems. I'm not gambling to help pay for things, but my winnings have done that for certain things over the years.
I think its more about the rush for me. But I need to bet larges amounts to get it. Its like go big or go home. I won't be happy winning a few hundred dollars. I want the big stack.
I can honestly say without bragging that I have won more than I lost with sports betting, online blackjack and betting at the casinos than I lost.
I should be happy and run for the hills because its not easy to do. But I want more and more. Want to win every night I gamble.
I also think at times I like that losing feeling after having a bad night or week. Part of me is also addicted to that feeling as well as the rush from winning.
At times I hope to lose a big bet because I say if I lost this amount I will still walk away with these winnings but I find myself back at it after a short break.
Gambling causes me to sleep worse, affects my diet in a bad way, don't eat as healthy and at times drink more alcohol.
Many of the posts on here are related to the casino and people gambling away all their money.
I'm someone in the opposite situation and still not happy, wanting more and more.
Just wanted to get this off my chest. I have a sports bet in now at the moment that is probably going to lose. Maybe I can start another streak and get away from this.
Hope this helps someone. Would love to hear back from people. Have a great day.
I hope my story helps some, including myself. I am in a different situation than most on here.
I have been gambling for around 15 years or so. I have never gambled anything I couldn't afford to pay back and never stolen to gamble. My early gambling days centered on betting on sports and playing poker and blackjack online. I would maybe do a casino once or twice a year. I definitely lost more than I won my first few years of gambling. I started playing small whether $25 on a game, maybe up to $100 the most. The casino maybe $10 a hand on blackjack. I didn't like losing the $ but it didn't put me in a bad spot. I definitely chased some losses, got lucky at times, but definitely lost at times. The betting on sports would be time to time. I would have good weeks, then a bad beat in there and I would say thats enough and take time off, maybe even a few months.
A few years into gambling I began betting bigger on sports and at the casino. I have some big wins. I won a large amount playing blackjack all night long. Also won 2k on a single sports bet and someone told me once you bet big its hard going back to betting small. That person was definitely correct.
I continued gambling over the years in stages having success and of course the bad weeks and give it all back. The roller coaster ride.
However, the last few years with sports betting has been very profitable. Throughout that time though I have made some very big wagers and not its even more difficult to go back betting smaller. I don't get the same rush and saying I should have bet more on it. But by betting large and going on a cold streak it will kill your bankroll.
Last year I wanted to stop betting. I won a nice amount of $ after giving some back but still wasn't happy. For example if I won 4k in a week but at 1 point I was up 6k I wanted to be at 6k or higher by the end of the week. I stopped a little over a year ago and made it clean for about 110 days till winter and football season.
I had a great run, made lots of $. I put 2/3 of my winnings on the Seattle Seahawks in the super bowl and if anyone saw how that game ended, lol. I said okay I will walk away with $ and be happy. I last 5 days. With that $ I tripled it. I ended up having a bad beat in a game and then risked the rest of my winnings on another and lost it all.
I took a few days off made 1 more play big bet and lost. I took 5 weeks off and get the impulse to bet and went on a hot streak. Won 4 weeks in a row, then lost 1 week, won the next. I have won a large amount of $ but its never enough. Always want more. Chasing my highest winning point.
I have a good job and great pension when retire. No financial problems. I'm not gambling to help pay for things, but my winnings have done that for certain things over the years.
I think its more about the rush for me. But I need to bet larges amounts to get it. Its like go big or go home. I won't be happy winning a few hundred dollars. I want the big stack.
I can honestly say without bragging that I have won more than I lost with sports betting, online blackjack and betting at the casinos than I lost.
I should be happy and run for the hills because its not easy to do. But I want more and more. Want to win every night I gamble.
I also think at times I like that losing feeling after having a bad night or week. Part of me is also addicted to that feeling as well as the rush from winning.
At times I hope to lose a big bet because I say if I lost this amount I will still walk away with these winnings but I find myself back at it after a short break.
Gambling causes me to sleep worse, affects my diet in a bad way, don't eat as healthy and at times drink more alcohol.
Many of the posts on here are related to the casino and people gambling away all their money.
I'm someone in the opposite situation and still not happy, wanting more and more.
Just wanted to get this off my chest. I have a sports bet in now at the moment that is probably going to lose. Maybe I can start another streak and get away from this.
Hope this helps someone. Would love to hear back from people. Have a great day.
Also when gambling it takes my interest away from all other things in life I like to do. I don't find them as enjoyable because I don't get the rush from them, including wife, friends, family and playing sports.
I also replay bad losses of games in my head and lots of times when wife or people taking to me I'm in a cloud thinking about gambling or what's going on in games I bet or didn't bet. Am I going to be mad I didn't bet a game that won or happy I laid off.
I take things for granted more when gambling.
The 5 weeks I took off from gambling were nice. Started to enjoy everything else again without the daily gambling rush.
My wife knows I gamble just doesn't know how much I bet and have won. She does like it better when I'm away from it bc I pay more attention to her and am a better husband.
I know it's better for me to walk away but haven't been able to for good.
Thanks for all that read this and respond. Also a big thanks to all the people that post on here. I've been reading for a few months and have tried to come on almost everyday.
I am saddened by post, and can only imagine the strain it is putting on you physically, emotionally and financially, as well as your wife and family.
I hope you can find your way through this, there is so much more to life, that I too had forgotten about when gambling.
In the world of addicted gambling, we are all the same. We may do things a bit differently, but we all have a problem with gambling.
When I first came in to GA, I was appalled at what some people had done to gamble. I was told, just wait. the operative word is "yet."
YET. Give it time...you will get there.
Yet.
Qwit4Good thanks for pointing out the addiction with the wanting more and more example. I haven't had to move $ around. If you get thru a bookie you pay at the end of the week if lose or win. Bet on credit. If I bet at the casino I lay the $ out first if wins get paid. Definitely takes a toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally with having high stakes on games. I usually don't let it show to my wife if lose a big one. Got used to the wins and losses. At 1st used to be this horrible hangover and so depressed for losing that much $ in a short period of time. But I would look at it as house $ or I could have a great week and win it back like I have done plenty of times.
Espnbart you are right about chasing. I have had times years back when betting smaller where I lost prob 10 games in a row or blackjack hands. Doing that with betting large would wipe anyone out.
You are right mybestself about people doing things differently.
I really hope to stop and get back to appreciating and enjoying everything in life. The negatives outweigh the chance of betting $ to get a rush.
Thanks for all the comments. I wish you all the best.
What I would like to ask you is, would you like a real relationship with your wife, family and friends?
Can I ask you? When all is said and done, will that "BIG" win be a marker in your life, or will the love you gave to your wife be that marker of the Man you were.
When I read your post it made me sad, I don't know the real you, or if you are even asking for help
Again, Please don't think ill of me. I am just a bit confused.
The love that I give to my wife is more important.
I think it is scary when money means nothing.
I was a big giver, looking for a place for my money to make a difference in other peoples lives. While in my addiction I was no longer able to give. By nature I am a server and a giver, this addiction had stolen my gift to others.
Did I want to think of myself only and serve myself, or did I want to get back to who I was?
I was wasting money and that was completely disgusting.
Back to the old me, meet the needs of others.
It is not about the "Big Win" it is about people.
I had to get back to reality, The betting took reality away from me.
Thankful to say that the last time I was at the grocery store I was able to pay for the lady behind me. Paid for groceries. I do not say this to say I am anything special, but what it proved to me, is I was back to the old me, caring for others, even a stranger meant more then that stupid bet.
I used to think I was different from everyone else in GA too. I fooled myself into thinking I'm gambling because I'm bored. I didn't steal from anyone. I had the cash to blow. I would bet MAX bet all the time playing slots. I would win big a lot of times. But then I would loose big. I came up with all kinds of justifications.
I went thru counseling a couple of times. Learned a little more each time about myself and the draw to casino gambling for me. It came out that I wasn't having my needs met in my personal relationships. I was very lonely and not happy with myself.
Anyway you say you are not like us but you are compulsive just like us. I think you realize that you might have a problem and maybe now you want to do something about it. I suggest answering the 20 questions on the GA web site and see where you fit.
Wishing you all the best.
Group 2: addict who are 'financially secured' but have other issues in there lives, mostly unhappiness and loneliness( they mostly deny this)and unable to derive joy in most activities, they turn to gambling, for the rush, the high, the lows, the excitement, the control, e.t.c. This is actually the worst group of addicts, They don't hit rock bottom for several years, No family intervention, no eviction, no loosing of homes, no hunger until 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year when a bad streak comes and all's lost. Yep, ALL. After 15 yrs of 'moderate gambling' perhaps even huge winnings, The Casino Mafia takes it all back and then some in one week! 41K, gone. Credit card, maxed out. Pension, gone. Savings, long gone. Even ppl that never stolen from their spouse would do the unthinkable, LIE! Yep, lie, then more lies, and a little extra lie, and just a tiny little bitty more lie, spouse has no reason to doubt cos he's being gambling for years without any financial problem.
Before anyone realizes anything, Its all gone! Or almost gone. Then something interesting happens, The 2nd group addict now falls into group1! Begins to struggle to pay bills, now winning's no longer for the rush, its to get ahead! And of course we all know how that story ends, you loose more, then much more, then you screwed, wife leaves, golf membership's gone, Reality sets in.
RUN FRANK, RUN! You in the best position to quit. Being clean over 2 months now, came to this site to get strength after an eviction notice on my door due to $1229. I was given 5 days, I don't get paid till the 1st, you see where it gets interesting? Now, I'm thinking, let me just go to the casino and make a little money then I will stop for good, just this one time I tell myself. I was awake all night fighting this urge, you know why? Cos I'm about to loose the roof over my head. After 73 days, my daily urge to gamble was gone( this took about 50 days!), Now, its back due to stress. Its being hard paying all my bills and staying clean, now it gets harder, I'm fighting not only the rush I get from gambling but this overwhelming feeling that only gambling can safe my home! This is the worst of the worst place to be Frank, I don't wish it for my enemy. That's why I'm glad you came here, tackle this evil before you slip to Group 1! Cos Group 1's no fun. I was clean for almost 2 years, oh what great times, I wasn't rich but I wasn't getting eviction notice or having my phone caught off. I was happy! and I had savings, yep savings until of course I came back, starting at group 2, just gambling for fun, yep, 'fun'... I went on vacation and visited a casino with $100, the rest's history.
We addict guys, there's something in our brain that needs to be studied, It takes extra effort for us not to gamble, As Frank has proved, even when you have money you will still gamble, so before you step into that casino, remember even if you win that jackpot, you coming back! and you will still be constantly stressed. So the problem's not our finances, its what we choose to do.
Thanks for a great post! It helped me understand that even if I won today or always, I will still be in that dark place, I hate it there and I'm NOT going back! I WONT GAMBLE TODAY, Things are never as bad as they seem:)
If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I WONT GAMBLE TODAY:)
The most people quit when they no longer manage their finances, not able to pay their rent, bills and their debts. These debts then tie to their psychological state of mind, depression, shame, guilt and remorse. I've asked myself this question a few times while on this journey of recovery. Would I have quit if I had unlimited resources and was not in financial ruin? The answe is, probably not and I be still gambling.
Gambling, once addicted has that mysterious fulfillment, that high and low rush you can't get from anywhere else. It fills that void in persons heart and soul. And when you continue it takes more and more to fill that voids because every time you fill that hole in your heart, it makes the hole bigger at the same time as if it is preparing the next round of thrill, rush or disaster you are anticipating.
In my opinion, recovery isn't about quitting gambling, quitting gambling is just a first step to clear our minds. So we can think clearly and comeback to ourselves. So called " normal", whatever that might be, it is a journey to give ourself a peace in our heart and soul. The serenity we lost while we fulfilling our rush, the gratitude we ignored while we were telling that white lie, and the love of ourself we pushed under the rug.....
It is obvious that you've realized you have a problem and you would like to live without having to fulfill your highs and lows without gambling. I must say that even after few years of obstinance of gambling, I haven't really found something that compare to the rush that gambling used to provided me. But the difference is that I am at my "normal" state of mind and I am content with who I am and what I do. Recovery gave me the peace in my soul and gratitude that I am alive without depending on any thrill and rush gambling ever gave me.
I am glad to see you are posting what is on your mind. It takes courage to come out of this darkness and share your thoughts. Comeback soon and keep sharing!
Love,
Victoria
You've admitted you aren't being truthful with your wife and that gambling is taking your away from time you should be spending with family and friends......
It's nice that you have the money to spend but the worm will turn eventually if you continue to do what you're doing. I can say this with some certainty because I used to be in your position. I had plenty of money to burn without damaging my financial wellbeing.....but I can't say that anymore.
You need to be completely honest with yourself about your problem. This is an ADDICTION that will eventually consume you. You need to stop gambling COMPLETELY.
Stop deluding yourself that you have any control of this situation because you still have money......