Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...
Hey, remember me? The guy who said he could never return to the casino because he had been overpaid and didn't want to get caught?
Well, almost 5 months later, I relapsed. The urge was too great. I returned with my friend, and after being let through, I realised perhaps they never caught onto the error, or just couldn't link it to me.
I said to my friend I wanted to gamble $1000, but he told me that was too much. He was right. His reaction made me feel disgusted about myself. But after he drove me home, I got my car and drove back out.
I won almost $400.
The next day, I had to buy presents for my co-workers, spending nearly $500. But I didn't want this to come out of my own pocket, so I went to the casino again. I lost $1000.
I couldn't hack the loss, so today I went again, wanting to win that money back. I lost another $1000.
So I lost $2000 in two days. I am overwhelmed with guilt, shame and the feeling of filth.
Life is so much better without gambling, I have no idea why I even THINK about doing it.
Well, almost 5 months later, I relapsed. The urge was too great. I returned with my friend, and after being let through, I realised perhaps they never caught onto the error, or just couldn't link it to me.
I said to my friend I wanted to gamble $1000, but he told me that was too much. He was right. His reaction made me feel disgusted about myself. But after he drove me home, I got my car and drove back out.
I won almost $400.
The next day, I had to buy presents for my co-workers, spending nearly $500. But I didn't want this to come out of my own pocket, so I went to the casino again. I lost $1000.
I couldn't hack the loss, so today I went again, wanting to win that money back. I lost another $1000.
So I lost $2000 in two days. I am overwhelmed with guilt, shame and the feeling of filth.
Life is so much better without gambling, I have no idea why I even THINK about doing it.
here is a link to a self-help book free from the California problem gambling program. I don't know where you live but in many states that have legalized gambling also have a program where you can talk to a licensed counselor at no cost to you. check it out through your state government website.
We all know how darn hard it is to just NOT go thru those doors into the casino. However, that is only the physical aspect of the sickness... which really starts in my head. That stinkin thinkin' that I will win or get my money back is where the whole problem begins.
In order to change my behavior, I must first change my thinking.
Stick around here... there is a lot of good support and some great ppl who really understand.
Now it seems I can't go more than a couple of days without some small gamble of some sort.
I had everything sorted a few months ago with no need to gamble, then I gambled and created a need for more gambling - the sickest part of it all is I wouldn't even know what to do if I won, I couldn't tell anyone bc at this point EVERYONE in my life knows how bad the problem is and thinks I am still doing well... wife, parents, siblings, friends.... so why gamble if I can't even win anything bc I wouldn't be able to spend it or tell anyone without raising suspicions? What a sickness!
Oh but the losses, the losses I have sort of been able to hide, its just extra debt, until someone asks questions, so of course it begins the cycle of chasing all over again. The only way is to work my way out of it though, never going to win my way out!