Every day is a victory Bart. Way to go my friend.

While it is likely we can't be happy all the time, my gambling addiction proved to me that I could be miserable all the time. I think the biggest victory is in DAY ONE. Whether it is the first day one or starting over for the umpteenth time. It is the one instant that we make the biggest turn-around. That we go from trying to control our gambling to turning it over and knowing it is uncontrollable.
Life is not perfect for me now after 11 months of abstinence but I have hope, love, and faith that were all sorely missing from my life while in the throes of gambling. (If you can even call it life.)
Way to go EspnBart, you are surely right about it being better.

@espnbart -- AWESOME! Congratulations! I know that people often like to say that the number of days doesn't matter, but as someone who is Type A and on Day 82, each and every tick mark on the calendar feels like a victory.

How are you feeling? Has it gotten easier for you? Are there still urges? Everyone talks about a more complete recovery between days 90 and 120, but I have also been alerted that this may not happen for everyone.

@nancy-

thanks! There are definitely still moments where I think gambling can be ok. I had those feelings after 2 years abstinent. I think you need to be very far away from it to really never have an urge. The tools you are taught to deal with those urges to help suppress them is what you should focus on. Don't be too concerned about the urges not being gone fast enough, that will cause stress. I was the same way as you. I couldn't believe that I could never gamble again. So I relapsed a couple of times, only to make the problem SO SO SO much worse.

@espnbart -- thank you for responding. Every time I miss it, I think of your story and other stories of relapsing on this forum and immediately think of it like horror in the making. Thanks for playing a part in changing the way my mind works around it.