Fragile X Syndrome Support Group
Fragile X Syndrome is the most common inherited cause of mental retardation, and is associated with autism. The fragile X syndrome is a genetic disorder caused by mutation of the FMR1 gene on the X chromosome. Mutation at that site is found in 1 out of about every 4000 males and 1 out of about every 6000 females.
Hi. Sorry I don't know where else to post this.
Five years ago my son met a woman who was pregnant three weeks later. We knew that she had deliberately gotten pregnant because she stupidly told us so. Oh well, kid on the way, smile, go with it!
After the baby was born, it became increasingly clear that my (by then) DIL was low-functioning. I would not have categorized her as mentally impaired. I just thought she was just not very bright and really incredibly lazy (which she is). My son dealt with it, grand kid was beautiful, but I started seeing delays when he was two, especially in language. By the time he was four, he would not eat seated at a table, would not sleep in his own bed or even sleep alone, had not begun to potty train and as near as I could tell, the most significant adult in his life had been Mario (the video game character).
I then got a couple panicked calls from my son that DIL wanted another baby - right away. He was so scared, completely freaked out, and the next day DIL announced her pregnancy on FB. All through her pregnancy and after the baby was born, DIL and her mother were flat out bizarre in the things they said. I understood that they, for some reason, expected me to have a negative reaction to the baby.
It took eight months, but I finally know why. My DIL has fragile x syndrome, full mutation. She has all the physical characteristics as far as face, muscle tone, etc. Now that I know what I am looking at, I recognize that she is impaired intellectually and very unwell mentally. The youngest grandson is her spitting image. Likewise, her mother. It is very obvious to me now, but I did not spot the mental retardation with her either at first.
Anyway, long story short, my DIL is a worthless POS. My dear grandsons are going to have a very rough road. My biggest fear is that one or both will wind up at the mercy of a society who wants nothing to do with them. There is not much I can do about this late in the game.
My son had to have known because he would have had to go through genetic counseling with the birth of grandson #1. I am furious with him for not telling us any of this, or even giving us a clue about how messed up DIL is. I'm also furious with him for letting her bring another baby to term without summoning all the troups for an all out war.
Really, after reading what can become of a Fragile X sons, I would have been happy to rip DIL's womb out with my bear hands.
It is all water under the bridge now. I hate DIL too much to have her in my life. My husband kind of feels the same way, and the truth is that neither of us trusted her ever anyway, not at any point. We just smiled and nodded and got along with her. This means grandsons will be (already are) heavily influenced by the same family who produced DIL.
Well, God knows that family has contributed the only genes that seem to matter, so screw it! I'm so angry. I feel real hopelessness for my grandsons, real to the point that I do not believe anything I could do at this point will have any real impact on them or their lives. The cards I am holding are not the ones the matter. The ones that matter were dealt out at conception.
At this point, I cannot even bear to speak to my son. I'm so disgusted with all of them, and just heartbroken for my grandsons, for us all.
I thought my son was a better person than this. Perhaps that's the most heartbreaking part.
I am not really looking for advice. I guess I just wanted to be able to tell my story. Thanks for listening.
Five years ago my son met a woman who was pregnant three weeks later. We knew that she had deliberately gotten pregnant because she stupidly told us so. Oh well, kid on the way, smile, go with it!
After the baby was born, it became increasingly clear that my (by then) DIL was low-functioning. I would not have categorized her as mentally impaired. I just thought she was just not very bright and really incredibly lazy (which she is). My son dealt with it, grand kid was beautiful, but I started seeing delays when he was two, especially in language. By the time he was four, he would not eat seated at a table, would not sleep in his own bed or even sleep alone, had not begun to potty train and as near as I could tell, the most significant adult in his life had been Mario (the video game character).
I then got a couple panicked calls from my son that DIL wanted another baby - right away. He was so scared, completely freaked out, and the next day DIL announced her pregnancy on FB. All through her pregnancy and after the baby was born, DIL and her mother were flat out bizarre in the things they said. I understood that they, for some reason, expected me to have a negative reaction to the baby.
It took eight months, but I finally know why. My DIL has fragile x syndrome, full mutation. She has all the physical characteristics as far as face, muscle tone, etc. Now that I know what I am looking at, I recognize that she is impaired intellectually and very unwell mentally. The youngest grandson is her spitting image. Likewise, her mother. It is very obvious to me now, but I did not spot the mental retardation with her either at first.
Anyway, long story short, my DIL is a worthless POS. My dear grandsons are going to have a very rough road. My biggest fear is that one or both will wind up at the mercy of a society who wants nothing to do with them. There is not much I can do about this late in the game.
My son had to have known because he would have had to go through genetic counseling with the birth of grandson #1. I am furious with him for not telling us any of this, or even giving us a clue about how messed up DIL is. I'm also furious with him for letting her bring another baby to term without summoning all the troups for an all out war.
Really, after reading what can become of a Fragile X sons, I would have been happy to rip DIL's womb out with my bear hands.
It is all water under the bridge now. I hate DIL too much to have her in my life. My husband kind of feels the same way, and the truth is that neither of us trusted her ever anyway, not at any point. We just smiled and nodded and got along with her. This means grandsons will be (already are) heavily influenced by the same family who produced DIL.
Well, God knows that family has contributed the only genes that seem to matter, so screw it! I'm so angry. I feel real hopelessness for my grandsons, real to the point that I do not believe anything I could do at this point will have any real impact on them or their lives. The cards I am holding are not the ones the matter. The ones that matter were dealt out at conception.
At this point, I cannot even bear to speak to my son. I'm so disgusted with all of them, and just heartbroken for my grandsons, for us all.
I thought my son was a better person than this. Perhaps that's the most heartbreaking part.
I am not really looking for advice. I guess I just wanted to be able to tell my story. Thanks for listening.
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
A close friend of mine is dating a man with an 11 year old daughter. The girl's mother was very much unstable, and caused the pregnancy by poking pin pricks into the condoms. She later committed suicide when the girl was very young because the father refused to go back to her. It's traumatizing, it's sad, it's deceitful to imagine a woman doing this to her life and the life of her child, but it was caused by untreated mental illnesses.
I think you need to step back from the situation and realize that there's two very different things going on here, and you need to separate the two. Mental illnesses come in many different forms and cause many different problems, and YES, those things need to be addressed. On the other side of things, Fragile X can cause some social issues and delays, but its not a blanket cover for everything going on.
With girls it's very difficult to tell, whether she's a carrier or has the full mutation, and how much that has affected her learning abilities. There are successful FM women out there. I'm a carrier and a civil engineering major in college. Then there are girls like my nieces that have learning disabilities as bad as boys do.
I think it's best you keep open arms for your son and DIL, and allow for a wonderful relationship with your grandsons. If the mother's side of the family is as bad as it seems, then you shouldn't be shutting the door on two very sweet little boys that don't understand what is going on.
Blaming genetics isn't going to do you any good. I wouldn't have known I was a carrier if my older sister didn't have children first. Her first son has the full mutation. That's how I knew I probably had it, but I had no idea growing up that I could have a 50/50 chance of having a child with disabilities.