Foster Care Support Group
Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.
FS came to us with the intention of reunification with his dad. Things went mega south while he was with us and his dad was sent to jail for about eight months. In the start the phone calls were several times a week until I had to tell him to scale it back as FS was having crazy episodes. So it was twice a week for about two months. Then nothing for two months. Then one here or there for a week or two. Then only when FS had his monthly visits with his grandparents.
In that time we have dealt with a TON of issues with our FS. He is special needs as it is and then the constant in and out of his dad's presence has made life absolute hell.
Last month his BG told him his BD was getting out of jail. Thanks asshat Grandma. FS is 5, mentally he is 3. The past month has been so bad that I have considered calling his SW and sending him to different placement. He has so much excitement and anxiety over seeing his dad that he has become violent, drawing blood on me more than once, he has started urinating on his carpet whenever he feels the urge, he has become rude, disrespectful, basically regressed back to his original eating habits (they were so bad he was borderline malnourished when he came to us)
His dad got out of jail yesterday. And CPS thinks it is a genius idea to go let him spend FIVE DAYS with his grandma, grandpa and dad. And then he gets to come home....to the people who 'keep him from his dad' and his BG so nicely put it.
I don't want him to go. I know reunification is still a slightly possible goal. But giving him his son for 5 days, out of province none the less....they will be almost 3 hours away....right after he gets out.....that sounds like the STUPIDEST idea ever!! Plus, I don't know if I can handle him when he gets back...I could barely do it before he left.
He has his first session with a child psychologist the day he gets back from the visit but I don't know if he will be with us by the second. I'm just so angry and I hate feeling so helpless when CPS just steam rolls your concerns.
In that time we have dealt with a TON of issues with our FS. He is special needs as it is and then the constant in and out of his dad's presence has made life absolute hell.
Last month his BG told him his BD was getting out of jail. Thanks asshat Grandma. FS is 5, mentally he is 3. The past month has been so bad that I have considered calling his SW and sending him to different placement. He has so much excitement and anxiety over seeing his dad that he has become violent, drawing blood on me more than once, he has started urinating on his carpet whenever he feels the urge, he has become rude, disrespectful, basically regressed back to his original eating habits (they were so bad he was borderline malnourished when he came to us)
His dad got out of jail yesterday. And CPS thinks it is a genius idea to go let him spend FIVE DAYS with his grandma, grandpa and dad. And then he gets to come home....to the people who 'keep him from his dad' and his BG so nicely put it.
I don't want him to go. I know reunification is still a slightly possible goal. But giving him his son for 5 days, out of province none the less....they will be almost 3 hours away....right after he gets out.....that sounds like the STUPIDEST idea ever!! Plus, I don't know if I can handle him when he gets back...I could barely do it before he left.
He has his first session with a child psychologist the day he gets back from the visit but I don't know if he will be with us by the second. I'm just so angry and I hate feeling so helpless when CPS just steam rolls your concerns.
It went bad. Very bad. FS's dad started using and dealing immediately after the visit. The child psychologist diagnosed FS with moderate to severe PTSD, anxiety and mental delays.
Then BM ended up with custody of FS. BM's husband is very controlling. He moved them to a small town about 11 hours from where I live, where she knows no one, and the resources FS needs are not available. It's a small town and before they took him from me, or I should say as they did, they made it quite clear that they were so excited he was going to a house that was 'stable and full of love'. Implying that where he had been for the past fourteen months (my house) was not. But BM agreed to stay Facebook friends so that I could keep up on FS progress and growth.
But then BD ended up passing away a few weeks ago. He was diagnosed with some autoimmune bone marrow illness and ended up on chemo. While on chemo he got an infection in his legs. They (its gonna get graphic) peeled back the skin on his legs to get out the infection, he was so swollen they couldn't stitch him up so they pulled the skin back up and bandaged it. Somehow while in the hospital recovering he got a flesh eating disease and with the chemo and legs he had no immune system to fight it off and he died within 24 hours of getting it. I suggested gently that they take FS to the funeral, that I thought it would be good for closure. It resulted in me being blocked my BM(not sure if it was actually her or step dad as we had been messaging right before and it was going well), bio grandma, and receiving hate messages from FS step dad to the extent I had to block and report him.
So now BD is dead, FS and BM are isolated in some little town in the middle of nowhere, there is nothing I can do about any of it and I no longer have any access to how FS is doing.
Its been a very hard few months.