Foster Care Support Group
Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.
Oh where to start..
well lets go back way in time about 10 years ago. My Brother in law was with a 16 year old foster girl. She got pregnant and said it was his kid. She drank and did dugs as far as I know. She had the baby and social services took the baby. as time when on it turned out the baby was not my brother in laws. That baby is now with her father. My brother in law stayed with the mother for .. oh I do not know. anyway he left her and a month or 2 later she said she was pregnant with his kid agin. Ya right. So she has a little boy and once agin social services takes the baby. When he was about 2 years old my mother in law did a DNA test. The kids is my brother in laws. She some how got custody of the boy. She is now sick with stage 3 cancer. So me and my husband are taking on our nephew.
I know my mother in law is up set with me for not taking him 6 years ago. But 6 years ago I had no kids and could not even change a diaper. I had no idea what to do with a 2 year old. Now I have 2 boys of my own and a 3 bed room house. I have an Idea of how to deal with kids now. I aways knew one day I would have this boys. I just was not ready 6 years ago. I still do not know how to feel about my choice to not take him oh 6 years ago. I know I would have if he was just a new little baby. I do not know how to explain it. I just could not do it than. Right now I feel like it is right and I can do this. Do not know how I well, but I just some how deep down know I can. I do have some gilt for not taking him.
He has had a hard life. He has been told that his dad did not want him, his mom shows up every other birthday. His other uncle treats him like a little brother. His baby sitter is called Grandma ( was the foster parent of his birth mom) and she and my mother in law fight over him. About who has to take him. One or the other well not answer the phone so that they do not have to look after him. There is so much to this poor kids life. he still pees the bed, and we found out when we spent 10 days at my mother in laws place that he well just pee on the bedroom floor. He has been exposed to a lot of things an 8 year old boy should not know. Than add on the fetal alcohol syndrome and Adhd. All that he has yet to be diagnosed yet.
I told them all years ago that he was a fetal alcohol baby, but my mother in law was like oh the mother did not do that when she was pregnant with him Ya right. So it was only a year ago that she started to get him diagnosed. yet to be done. Part of the reason why she is going it if for the money. I guess she gets a lot more money for him if he gets diagnosed. I want him diagnosed so that he can get the help he needs.
Anyway. As of right now I am waiting to hear back from child services. So frustrated. We live an 8 hour drive from where he is. I need to get him registered for school tomorrow. I am not a legal garden and can not do it. My son starts Kindergarden this year. I fought to get him in to a school, now I have to fight to get my nephew in to the same one. School starts on the 9th. So much to do and so little time. My brother is getting marred on the 5th and I have to go to Calgary for the wedding. We leave on thursday. I have only 3 days to get this mess worked out!
His social worker is out of town. The lady I talked to on Friday is out sick today, I am waiting all over agin. I am so almost ready to call social service in my town. This crap is dumb. I have called twice and left a message with the duty councillor. My husband is going to get my nephew on the 7th and well be back with him on the 8th. School starts on the 9th. I need this done. Ugg I have so much ahead of me with this child. It can't be that hard to pass over the guardianship to us so that I can get him in school. Than there is the house visit and the back round checks. Lets get this on the go!.
Anyway thank you for letting me vent. Any advice on dealing with social services would be great.
well lets go back way in time about 10 years ago. My Brother in law was with a 16 year old foster girl. She got pregnant and said it was his kid. She drank and did dugs as far as I know. She had the baby and social services took the baby. as time when on it turned out the baby was not my brother in laws. That baby is now with her father. My brother in law stayed with the mother for .. oh I do not know. anyway he left her and a month or 2 later she said she was pregnant with his kid agin. Ya right. So she has a little boy and once agin social services takes the baby. When he was about 2 years old my mother in law did a DNA test. The kids is my brother in laws. She some how got custody of the boy. She is now sick with stage 3 cancer. So me and my husband are taking on our nephew.
I know my mother in law is up set with me for not taking him 6 years ago. But 6 years ago I had no kids and could not even change a diaper. I had no idea what to do with a 2 year old. Now I have 2 boys of my own and a 3 bed room house. I have an Idea of how to deal with kids now. I aways knew one day I would have this boys. I just was not ready 6 years ago. I still do not know how to feel about my choice to not take him oh 6 years ago. I know I would have if he was just a new little baby. I do not know how to explain it. I just could not do it than. Right now I feel like it is right and I can do this. Do not know how I well, but I just some how deep down know I can. I do have some gilt for not taking him.
He has had a hard life. He has been told that his dad did not want him, his mom shows up every other birthday. His other uncle treats him like a little brother. His baby sitter is called Grandma ( was the foster parent of his birth mom) and she and my mother in law fight over him. About who has to take him. One or the other well not answer the phone so that they do not have to look after him. There is so much to this poor kids life. he still pees the bed, and we found out when we spent 10 days at my mother in laws place that he well just pee on the bedroom floor. He has been exposed to a lot of things an 8 year old boy should not know. Than add on the fetal alcohol syndrome and Adhd. All that he has yet to be diagnosed yet.
I told them all years ago that he was a fetal alcohol baby, but my mother in law was like oh the mother did not do that when she was pregnant with him Ya right. So it was only a year ago that she started to get him diagnosed. yet to be done. Part of the reason why she is going it if for the money. I guess she gets a lot more money for him if he gets diagnosed. I want him diagnosed so that he can get the help he needs.
Anyway. As of right now I am waiting to hear back from child services. So frustrated. We live an 8 hour drive from where he is. I need to get him registered for school tomorrow. I am not a legal garden and can not do it. My son starts Kindergarden this year. I fought to get him in to a school, now I have to fight to get my nephew in to the same one. School starts on the 9th. So much to do and so little time. My brother is getting marred on the 5th and I have to go to Calgary for the wedding. We leave on thursday. I have only 3 days to get this mess worked out!
His social worker is out of town. The lady I talked to on Friday is out sick today, I am waiting all over agin. I am so almost ready to call social service in my town. This crap is dumb. I have called twice and left a message with the duty councillor. My husband is going to get my nephew on the 7th and well be back with him on the 8th. School starts on the 9th. I need this done. Ugg I have so much ahead of me with this child. It can't be that hard to pass over the guardianship to us so that I can get him in school. Than there is the house visit and the back round checks. Lets get this on the go!.
Anyway thank you for letting me vent. Any advice on dealing with social services would be great.
2) Can you have your mother-in-law sign the papers so that he can be enrolled? Once you have custody, you will just have to notify the school with the proper paperwork.
3) If he misses a couple of days of school because of this mess, everything will work out.
We took in a little boy in May. It was meant to be 3 months but we signed a TGO two weeks ago. I couldn't sign him up for school, take him to the doctors, get him assessed for anything, and it was very irritating.
On the plus side....he can sign up for school at any time. If he misses a week or two it will all work out he will just need to speed up a bit when he gets there. The mother in law can also sign him up if need. And if CPS is at all a legal guardian, like the boy was apprehended and they maintained guardianship status, a worker can also sign him up.
I'm currently dealing with my FS (it's considered kinship but FS is easier to type) father being incarcerated, him not having and AHC#, getting him to an occupational therapist to start the process of diagnosing the autism a pediatrician thinks he has, and then other behavioural issues due to abuse and neglect from his past.
We aren't in the same situation, but if you need someone to talk to who is going through kinship care in Alberta as well, you can shoot me a message.
How have you been making out with the little boy? How has he been handling the move and the change? I am worried about how my nephew well take all of this. To top it off yesterday my mother in law got some bad news. She has a 15% survival rate if she started chemo right away, but she is so sick right not they can not do it. We have no idea how much time she has left. All of this is going to be so hard on him.
I did manage to get the paper work to my mother in law and he is now signed up for school. Now lets hope I can get him transferred to the school I want. I wrote a letter of temporary guardianship for her to sign. I hopefully well not have anymore problems. The social workers where not help at all.
I am waiting to talk to his social worker, who is out of town. We well get some money for him. That is going to help us out so much. We are low income ourselves. We make it by and do great with our money but one more mouth to feed is going to be so hard.
I am a planer and trying to think of what life is going to be like is so hard. It is keeping me up at night. I am worried about him, my boys, well everything.
I live in BC. Its going to be a long drive to Calgary. I am looking forward to it so that I can talk to my husband some more.
I well definitely message you someday when I need too. At times I feel so alone. My own mother has not been too supportive of us taking him. My best friend has been great.
I thank you for taking the time to read and post back.
I lucked out. My social worker and my kin ship home worker are GREAT! I get weekly check ins from both. The SW is getting him an AHC# for me as he originally came from Saskatchewan. And they are very supportive of almost everything I do. We haven't receieved any money yet but it's coming as we just need to get our financial info filled out. But due to our work schedules and bank hours it's very hard. As well as we get a sports and vacation allowance. Plus req forms to reimburse us for some mileage and certain purchases such as a new bed.
He has anger issues, and he is severely delayed in certain aspects. But we are working on all of that. One day at a time!
By the way....I love BC haha we go to Fairmont Hot Springs every summer! I love the mountains but rarely have reason to cross the border as Banff is so much closer for me :)
I did get him in to the same school as my son! A big help and relief. My husband was home today for what was the 1st say of school. So I had help getting all 3 boys out of the house. Tomorrow I am on my own. Oh please send good thoughts my way. I can do this!
I did mange to get him in to bed last night by about 810. My husband let him have a movie. Tonight I am thinking just an MP3 player. I would rather nothing. Bed time is bed time. At least we left his TV behind. We do not think anyone needs one in the bed room. We are a one TV house.
Wish me luck tonight! Going to need it!
We get just under $800 a month, it goes on a chart with age and what not. Plus we get $600 annual sports allowance, $400 annual vacation allowance. We can claim mileage and I have a whack of req forms to reimburse me for things like a new bed for him, a new fire extinguisher for the house, etc etc. We don't get child tax or UCCB.
We are a legal kinship home though. So if you aren't you should look in to it. It involved a weekend long course, home inspections, huge questionaires and we have a worker for the kiddo and a worker for the kinship home.
Good luck with school! I get 2 ready and 4 out the door! Luckily with a few phone calls the bus company moved the bus stop to my driveway! Much better then what we had so it makes my life a bit easier.
I have been told that your kinship is the same as our extended family program. they just renamed it, in BC
I would love to talk more but the kids are running wild. It is poring rain. I have to find something fee today now that I can not take them to the park.
Now my problem is getting him in counselling. The place is being a pain in my butt. just more work for me. wish me luck! Going to need it. on top of it all tomorrow is a pro D day. uggg
My Mother in law was trying to have him diagnosed with FAS, was on the waiting list. I guess they called her on Friday. Since he is here with us they are moving his file to Northern health and putting him at the top of the list. Just waiting for the call. would be good to have him diagnosed. I keep getting told I would get more money for him, if he was. I would put the money towards a shrink, and anything else he needs. I am so un sure what the diagnoses dose and what other help I can get him, or he needs.
All of this is so hard on kids. Why social services dose not offer or have councillors on staff to do home visits with these kids I well never know.
I have to add, that Yesterday was such a good day. My husband was out for the day, it was just me and the 3 boys. My Nephew did so good. Only had a 2 fits, and got them under control fast. I even had 5 min of quit at the dinner table. This gives me so much hope for every other day.