So many bibs!! My little foster girl goes through them like crazy. After reading a different post I see you are licensed for 7-18 and I am licensed for 0-3 so I can't really give you any relative things that you may need. My husband and I are fairly new to the fostercare system and some of our most biggest surprises has been being kept in the dark about the child's case. Most of what we know we get off line because the mother had created a facebook page for our fosterbaby. Whomever knows how much of that is even accurate anyway. It is really hard to get in contact with our caseworker and our licensing processes was really slow! Okay so now for the pleasant surprises: We LOVE our foster child so much! She is now a 5 mo old baby girl we have had since she was 3wks old. Doing fostercare has given me the chance to be a mommy since I have no biological children of my own. My family feels so good about ourselves for providing a loving and caring environment for a child and giving her a wonderful start in life. Even though we are not doing this for the money we still get a board check, clothes vouchers, equipment vouchers, and WIC for the babies food so that was a nice surprise that the cost of raising a child through fostercare is virtually half the cost. Obviously we still buy her tons of things with our own money as well : ) I believe that the state will also help put a child through college!

What we needed and didn't have? We scrambled for additional ways to secure Meds, knives, alcohol, cleaning supplies. We wished for additional training to deal with horrific emotional outbursts. The most important resource we soon realized is a support group of other experienced foster parents. Equally important is the need for respite care. You can't let just anybody babysit. Another shock was the effect of having foster children on our extended family, and the lack of understanding of why we choose to do it.
Biggest surprises? How poorly foster parents are treated by the system. How hard it is to find medical experts in unfamiliar fields. How quickly some of our "friends" abandoned us. How easy it is to fall in love with somebody else's kids.

Hope that helps. Feel free to ask any questions.

Bibs. I remember those! Even worse was the brand new wardrobe every two months. *shudder*

I think we've got most things locked up, but I do realize that just means we are going to find out what we've forgotten and fast. What do you mean by "horrific emotional outbursts"? Discipline is one of the things my husband and I have been worried about -- not that we can't do it, but knowing that some tried-and-true tactics for our daughter may not work in a fostering situation. I'm hoping my teaching experience will help, but our hands are frequently tied there as well.

I should also add that our extended family is extremely supportive of our decision, although some are, like you, concerned about the horror stories, especially concerning teenagers.

For extended family, the issue is that they get as attached as you do, and sometimes those children leave. Then the people you need to turn to for support are in almost as much pain as you. Of the eight children we have fostered or adopted, only two had what I would call serious issues. By outburst I mean a complete loss of control, a full blown temper tantrum, but they may last thirty or more minutes. While it's happening, you cannot get through to the child at all, you just try to keep them safe from harming themselves or others.
AdoptUSKids has some great videos on line, on YouTube and their own site.

What have you done that works for the feature length tantrums? My daughter is the queen of tantrums, but I know different tricks work for different kids.

Be prepared to have to go shopping the day you get your first placement (even if it is in the middle of the night (thank God for 24 hour walmart!) Most kids don't come with anything more than the clothes on their back. It is also good to always have RID on hand - as they often have lice as well. Make sure that the room is already made up - sheets and blankets on the bed, pillows, etc...as you will usually get little notice before being asked to come pick a child up. Every child will need a toothbrush, brush, comb, etc, regardless of age, so always good to keep these on hand. I saw in your other post you mentioned about your 5 year old. One suggestion since you are bringing in older children would be to buy a baby monitor and place in your 5 year old's room and leave on at night. Better safe than sorry.

Thank you for asking these questions and thank you for all your responses! My husband and I are just in the research stages of becoming foster parents and we appreciate this insight!