Foster Care Support Group
Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.
I have been on DS for over a year and planning on foster care since about September 2009. I just found this group today and I am so excited! I have been posting my questions and concerns in the adoption group and was getting not feedback! At last, maybe I will make some friends who can help me through this!
DH and I start foster classes Feb. 4th and end April 1st. We are very excited but also very curious about the process and even a little scared.
We are unable to have children and are planning to adopt through foster care. Since DH and I are young we want preferably a baby or as young as we can get right now and plan to take in older foster children later in life.
It just kind of hit me that we are really doing this and we could be ready to take in a child by April! We have lots of questions.
Really I would love to just hear some of other peoples experiences!
I want to list some questions and will try to make this short!
1. How did you prepare? Right now we have NOTHING! And it's not like when you're pregnant and get a baby shower. Did you go ahead and buy things and set up a room just like you were pregnant?
2. Did the child call you "mom" and "dad" or by your names? What about the rest of your family? How did they address them?
3. DH and I had a special needs child for a short time for respite care. When he went back with his BM is about killed us! The holidays were especially hard without him! How do you handle it when you have a child and it is taken and put back with the birth parents?
Thank you all for your time!
DH and I start foster classes Feb. 4th and end April 1st. We are very excited but also very curious about the process and even a little scared.
We are unable to have children and are planning to adopt through foster care. Since DH and I are young we want preferably a baby or as young as we can get right now and plan to take in older foster children later in life.
It just kind of hit me that we are really doing this and we could be ready to take in a child by April! We have lots of questions.
Really I would love to just hear some of other peoples experiences!
I want to list some questions and will try to make this short!
1. How did you prepare? Right now we have NOTHING! And it's not like when you're pregnant and get a baby shower. Did you go ahead and buy things and set up a room just like you were pregnant?
2. Did the child call you "mom" and "dad" or by your names? What about the rest of your family? How did they address them?
3. DH and I had a special needs child for a short time for respite care. When he went back with his BM is about killed us! The holidays were especially hard without him! How do you handle it when you have a child and it is taken and put back with the birth parents?
Thank you all for your time!
We enjoyed it overall and it was a dream we shared fro the beginning to be foster parents.We cared for 100 kids;ages birth to 5 yrs.
1. To prepare ,we had two bedrooms--one for boys and one for girls
and we had a baby bed and twin beds in the two rooms. We were licensed for two I believe--later changed to five 'slots' but preferred one or two at a time so we could concentrate on all their needs.
2. The kids called us mom and dad---95% at least did although we did tell them our names which are ease to prnounce. A few called us momma or dad. Family accepted them as family.
3. The last 12 yrs of fostering we chose to work with the bio family---With the Caseworker's Appoval first. And we made many friends along the way during those last yrs. Some have came to visit and some have called and wrote us afterwards. And this helped the transition home and helped my spirit also.
For the older boy we placed in the local school to start, but it was a mistake not to investigate the other nearby charter school, which turned out to be so much better for him. Many foster kids will have some lapse in their school work and that takes a lot of time to help them catch up.
The hard part is not really knowing when they will be leaving, you see how hard that it, but rewarding for the short time they are with you.
1. Wait until you get the call. You never know what the child willh have or need. You could look for a crib, etc...and have it on hand just incase. They are spendy. We waited until we got "the call".
2. We have an infant and felt uncomfortable with mom and dad, but it's important for the child no matter the age to learn healthy family roles. We go by daddy first name and mama first name. Birth parents are just mom and dad.
3. Our buddle of joy is still with us. It is 99% probable that she'll go home. It will be hard no matter what because to her we are mom and dad and we've bonded. I try and stay grounded by talking about her mom and doing photo journals and updates for mom. It helps keep things "real". It also humanizes things. You'll get attached, but it helps keeps things in perspective. Besides...it's better to have a good relationship with mom and dad so if something happens or they need a sitter, they are comfortable calling you or thinking maybe you'd help. Maybe that way you get to make sure the child is still ok. It also helps keep transitions smooth and the placements solid.
Don't get me wrong, it will suck. I plan on retail therapy and movies to get through the first couple of days.