How old is your foster child? I think the school is being ridiculously inflexible about the picture situation. There must be cases where kids are in joint custody situations and would want photos of themselves with both parents. I would honestly say that the social worker advises it's in the best interest of the child for such displays to include both or not at all and see if pushing back gets them to rethink their display. Overall I would definitely reach out to the school psychologist and the teacher and say, look, his family situation is different so we're going to go case by case in making decisions about how to engage with these activities, but we'd appreciate it if you could show some sensitivity in understanding that the way some of these assignments are designed puts him/us in an awkward position. As an educator, I can say that one thing that is helpful when dealing with school assignments is to turn back to the objective-- WHAT IS THE PURPOSE of the assignment. You should never be required to violate your child's privacy for a school assignment, and an assignment asking what does dad do is going to present issues for children of single moms, two moms, and being raised by grandparents as much as you.If you can ask the school to clarify the educational objective of some assignments you can probably ascertain whether there's some wiggle room in meeting the objective in a different creative way or if it's worth requesting he opt out of an assignment altogether.

For stuff that comes home, I involve the child in picking what stuff goes to whom. I have a folder for bio mom, one for bio dad, and then whenever stuff comes home we choose which papers go to who and then bring them on the visits. When left to their own devices, young elementary kids will create some things that will seem more appropriate for one person than another, and for the rest its just nice if there's stuff going to everyone semi-equally. I had an 8 year old who had a map she drew of her "family backyard" that was clearly of my house, so that went on our refrigerator, but the Thanksgiving poem about how "mom" makes great cookies went to the bio mom, etc.

I also think this is a conversation you can probably have with your child, because he's going to be the one fielding questions if they come up.Some kids will feel strongly that "family" pictures for display should be of their "real" family, and others would rather not draw attention to the ways they perceive themselves as different from other kids. For family memento day I would personally lean towards something from the bio family if possible just because it's a unique way to connect to his personal heritage but this too could be something you could problem solve in an age appropriate way with even a child as young as first grade or so.

First, I would not involve the social worker in this at all, unless you are trying to get family pictures. This is your decision, not theirs. Second, I don't bother passing most projects on. If they are specifically for a parent, though (Mother's Day, Father's Day, etc.) and the child does not indicate they are for me or my husband, we ask if they want us to send the projects to their bio-parents. If they have regular visits, I assume the projects that they wish to be delivered get delivered. I just tell them that all graded assignments need to at least be seen by us before getting passed on.

The child turns 5 shortly. He is currently attending occupational therapy, as well as he qualifies for extra help at school and 5 day kindergarten (versus the usual 2-3 day) and an educational assistant due to delays. He is being tested for almost everything under the sun.

The reason they cannot do both photos is because each child is decorating a frame and there is only so much space once the frames are up in the area they go. The photo's themselves cannot be more than three and half by three and a half inches. The purpose is so that the kids can have familiar faces to look at when they get home sick, or things get over whelming.

He will say his dad (mom is not in the picture) with everything if I asked. He does not quite grasp the situation he is in. He currently has supervised visits, 2 hours at a time, Monday's and Wednesday's. I have explained dad is sick but that is all he knows. As far as he is concerned dad is still the head honcho in his life and we are just the side people who feed and clothe him haha.

I need to include the social worker. We are a kinship home. So as it stands right now, due to the specific situation we are in, CPS and I are equal, legal guardians. I needed the workers signature for his field trip form, I need to run everyone he goes with without me past the worker, I need to keep her updated on all doctor's visits and such. I need to inform them if we leave the city for even a day trip. It's annoying, but in return I get fantastic support.

In Washington, fps get to sign all the scholastic permission forms. About the only thing we can't sign is permission for anesthesia.

Yea I was able to sign most of his school forms and I can do all the doctor, dentist, optometrist, occupational therapy, speech and hearing jazz. But due to the super strict guidelines on who is allowed to see/pick him up at school, and where he is allowed to go (they will not chance him running in to his BD) they signed that form after they carefully reviewed all the field trips the school had planned. And FOIP we both had to sign.

You might be putting too much thought and energy into a small unimportant thing in the eyes of the teachers. I am sure they know if your situation? Then he might have an opinion on which would fit better, a photo of the "Aunt" that will pick him up at the end of the day or a father he misses. I worried so much over the lack of baby photo for a math assignment my daughter had. She was to put down her weight and height at birth and now, calculate how much she has grown, and add a new born photo. We only had her numbers at about 1 month old. But they were actually pretty normal for a new born, so we used them. Then for the photo, she choose on that was taken shortly after She came to us at 1yo, sitting on the floor surrounded by toys smiling. When I came into the class few days later I was surprised to see the projects, almost half did not have the newborn photo requested, but just a cute photo from the first year..

I just wanted to know how others deal with it. His father is still in his life. He gets to see him twice a week through short, SW supervised, visits. It's not so much the teachers I am concerned about so much as my FS.

Because the ultimate goal is to reunite him with his dad I never know how much of his dad to keep in his life through momento's, photos, etc etc. He sees a photo and due to his delays I need to explain all over again why he lives with us. It's about an hour and a half discussion a day. But if I don't put up photo's I'm worried that he will forget and then that would be my fault. School is a big part of his life now, and I don't know how much of his dad to integrate and how much not in order to keep a healthy balance.

Given the purpose of the assignment I think you're fine either way. I would even say you could tell him he gets to have a photo of someone on the wall at school and casually ask who he thinks he might like to look at sometimes and let it drop at that. Reunification is the goal and it's easy to get very nervous, especially with young kids with developmental delays in this situation, about how every small decision affects their understanding. But honestly, if the goal of this particular assignment is for them to have someone to look at when they're having a hard time, a picture of you, the person who is actively parenting him at the moment should be just as sufficient and appropriate as a picture of a biological parent if the school simply can't find any other way to accommodate the situation. But I would pass along to the school that perhaps in referring to this "family wall" it would be helpful for them to reference it as "special people" or "important people" because for a child who is struggling with the roles of different adults in his life it would be of assistance to downplay the "mom and dad" of it all.