Foster Care Support Group
Foster care is a system by which a certified, stand-in parent(s) cares for minor children or young peoples who have been removed from their birth parents or other custodial adults by state authority. Responsibility for the young person is assumed by the relevant governmental authority and a placement with another family found.
I'm not a foster home. I have done kinship care in the past. Meaning I was close to being a foster home without actually doing it.
Now, that being said, CPS is driving me INSANE! The boy in my 'care' is a surrender. The shortest TGO available is 3 months. Since he was not meant to be in my care that long CPS did not want to do one. Meaning I get zero aide. That's not important though in this case. It also means I have zero legal right to keep him from his father as long as he adheres to the rules.
The ONE rule? He must bring a sober companion with him whenever he takes the boy for visitation. How do I know the companion is sober? I don't. I have reason to suspect she is very much not sober. But without proof I can't withhold the boy.
When we took him in CPS called the day of the surrender. They told me that they would be in touch with me. Fast forward 2 months. I can't get a hold of ANYONE!
First off they told me his worker would be named Rhonda. So after leaving her like ten messages with no response someone close to me called in a complaint on the general line about his sober companion and the worker she talked to was Cindy! So they told me the wrong worker or else never informed me of the worker change. So now I'm calling and calling Cindy with no response. I leave messages every day and no one has called me back.
There are rumours of the dad wanting to take the boy and run, but I can't withhold him until CPS tells me I legally can!
I am so fed up with how they are running this case I want to go in to the office (except I work every week day) and throw down. Just have a regular old wreck. Until someone helps me!
Now, that being said, CPS is driving me INSANE! The boy in my 'care' is a surrender. The shortest TGO available is 3 months. Since he was not meant to be in my care that long CPS did not want to do one. Meaning I get zero aide. That's not important though in this case. It also means I have zero legal right to keep him from his father as long as he adheres to the rules.
The ONE rule? He must bring a sober companion with him whenever he takes the boy for visitation. How do I know the companion is sober? I don't. I have reason to suspect she is very much not sober. But without proof I can't withhold the boy.
When we took him in CPS called the day of the surrender. They told me that they would be in touch with me. Fast forward 2 months. I can't get a hold of ANYONE!
First off they told me his worker would be named Rhonda. So after leaving her like ten messages with no response someone close to me called in a complaint on the general line about his sober companion and the worker she talked to was Cindy! So they told me the wrong worker or else never informed me of the worker change. So now I'm calling and calling Cindy with no response. I leave messages every day and no one has called me back.
There are rumours of the dad wanting to take the boy and run, but I can't withhold him until CPS tells me I legally can!
I am so fed up with how they are running this case I want to go in to the office (except I work every week day) and throw down. Just have a regular old wreck. Until someone helps me!
1) Take the time to get licensed so CPS can't give you the run around. This isn't solely about money. It is about protections for you.
2) Take a sick day if needed to deal with all of this.
I have a day off coming up on Thursday that I am spending with just my daughter. And then all next week is our holidays. So I'm hoping to get a break from all of it while I soak up some natural mountain water in the hot springs
I FINALLY got a call back. To tell me that I'm unable to do anything still. CPS will not make anything legal until the Family Enhancement Agreement is up and even then probably not. I cannot withhold the boy unless I know for a FACT that either parent is stoned at that exact moment. If the dad takes the boy for a visit and doesn't bring him back, instead runs, there is nothing I can do. I cannot even request they be drug tested unless I have solid proof they are using.
A drug test is $45 bucks here. I'll bloody pay the $90 to do them both if CPS get's them to take it! Instead they have to go do it on their own free will....because yes, that's going to happen.
I'm basically a sitting duck and I feel utterly helpless. She asked if I had a time limit on care for the boy and I told her no, but after the FEA is up I want to discuss a TGO and she told me that they usually just give the family another FEA instead. Because that's working so well this time.
And I was also informed that they only touch base with families like ours once every 3 months or so, the original worker who said someone would keep me in the loop failed to mention that at all.
We did kinship care for a while and it was very frustrating. You will be the last to know anything. The last one to be considered in any situation. The kiddos are next and the bio parents are first. It sounds messed up and it is. It caused a ton of family issues but on the upside the kids get to stay out of the mess that is foster care. Our nephew got to stay with us, in a safe home and be around his loved ones.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I do recommend getting your license. You do not have to take in any kids other than the one in your care now. It is a bit of a hassle but worth it. In my state it is not only financially beneficial but it gives the kiddos way more benefits through local organizations. The kids in my care get clothes, toys and little wishes that pay for everything from a day at the waterpark for the family to activities like soccer, gymnastics, girl scouts. It also provides them with educational advocates that can provide tutoring and assistance.
I also recommend finding a support group in your area. They are full of people who have been through this before. They know the ins and outs and your rights way better than any social worker.
Caseworkers are so overloaded it is often impossible to get them to respond for anything other than an emergency.
Good Luck!
Sorry just frustrated at the whole system today!!!
When I did kinship care I had great support. Counsellers on call, a great worker, all the help I could need emotionally, financially and physically.
This is much much worse. It's like we are the bottom of the totem pole. And now so much more has happened and I'm so angry with it all. I'm calling his worker again tomorrow as I have more things to discuss with her.