try to make it as possitive as possible. If you're upset she will know it. And you must appear as supportive of bio parents as possible. Try offering a fun activity after the visit so she has something to look forward to.

The visit went horrible. Neither one of them spoke to each other. My foster daughter texted and the mom read a book before declaring it over after only an hour. Why did she even insist upon visitation if she didn't want to speak to her daughter at all?

After, we got her a latte and we worked in the garden for a couple of hours. I also talked to the social worker, because this was absolutely ridiculous.

Sigh, this is a toughie. Our kids have bio visits every week and are "messed" up from them for a day or two. We find that it goes "smoother" if the parents bring activities for them to do. IE: arts and crafts, puzzles...something without technology.

Also be POSITIVE! Ask questions about the bio family: how are they doing, what are they up to? etc...if you show an interest, the kids will too. This is true even at 30 years old for me. If my mom shows an interest in my biological mother, it makes me want to call and check up on her too.

Hope this helps.

My children now associate a visit with bio mom with a trip to get a happy meal. I know that is ridiculous but the happy meal is the part they look forward to. It also reduces the sadness and emotion that always gets stirred up during a visit. They would all prefer not to attend visitation and it has been recommended by their therapist for months that visitation be stopped. The court however insist that we continue. During our last visit our oldest foster son refused to get out of the car. Thankfully a caring case worker did not force him. We must continue to help the kids have a positive attitude about the bio parents regardless of how we really feel. Hopefully in your case the social worker will see that these visits are unproductive.

The social worker agrees fullheartedly, but the bio-mom's lawyer is calling the shots right now. We'll just continue playing the game and praying things improve.

How old is your foster child? Our Foster children's visits were so hard, we had twins from 3 days old and have had to do bio mom visits for a year and a half and then her rights got terminated and we got their 5 year old sister, then we now have sib visits which are so hard on all 3 kids. The twins have a hard time because they don't know them very well.

She is 16. The last visit only lasted 15 minutes, because our FD stormed off. We'll try a supervised visit next time, but we don't think it will actually do anything, especially if the bio-mom continues to refuse to bring her siblings.

Yeah that is hard. She is 16 can't she make her own choice on whether she goes or not? I sometimes feel like the system is more for the parent and not the child, because the child goes through so much and the parent doesn't have to do anything.

The mother's lawyer is insisting on visitation in order to ensure that they have the best case for her daughter to be returned to her. Sounds like the mom has checked out, but her lawyer is doing their job by representing the mom - not the daughter. Not opinion, just fact.

That's pretty much what we've figured as well.