Im so sorry Tabby! That is horrible! I hate that someone would hurt another person, let alone a child. These people should NEVER be allowed near a child. It breaks my heart for you and other children. I'm glad that you got out of there and that you told someone. Hopefully it means that they wont get kids ever again! Hugs!

Yes I told on my foster parents but they did not get into any trouble. Because the foster moms friend told the police that I was just making it all up and that her friend would never hurt a child. It made my Adopted parents so angry because they knew That a five year old could not make up the stuff that I was telling That they did to the kids that were in their care.

Tabby I am amazed that you have such clear memories from when you were 5. I can't remember anything before the age of 8 or so.

When you say you told your adopted parents about this treatment do you mean you told them back then? Child protective services is very careful about investigating complaints.

Hi and welcome to DS, just wanted to let you know YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I went through a similar situation with a foster parent. it was very brave to post something like this!

Please remember that, You are wonderful and strong because you are a survivor, like me, and if you can survive that you can do anything. Also remember, You're not worthless, you're full of potential, and now with a good family foundation NOTHING can stop you.

In a way, my beatings with a belt were a blessing cus in the long run, I came to ds and while on here I have met the most loving and caring people I could ever want in my life!

message me anytime,
lostjustlikethat14 (rachel)

OMG, I am so sorry that you had to experience any of that abuse. I am in the beginning stages of signing on to be a foster mom. I can't wait to be able to give love and comfort to a baby that needs someone. And I can't even imagine how people like that get through this process without being "discovered".

I had a home visit about a week ago and she told me at that time there would be a much longer interview coming up. And 9 or 10 weeks of classes to understand a little bit what the children may have experienced.

I just can't see how people like that pass all these "tests" and not send up red flags to someone. My heart aches for all of you who have been hurt by their foster families. What the hell is wrong with people? I wish I could help in some way, all I can do is hope and pray that these monsters are caught and brought to justice.

(((hugs)))

Thanks it was horrible I hated those people. But whats makes it even worse is that once My new family adopted me the foster parents came to my new home and saw me. It scared me to death. The foster dad said hello little girl remember me.

I hear this all the time and it just ticks me right off!!!! Come on people, these are the kids you should be protecting and for the money, sorry you are NOT making money from the system with all the costs that occur with having kids in the home, it helps a lot but you do not make money!!!! These people should be help accountable for what they have and do! aughh!! :-) I am sorry that you had to go through that hun, take your experience and let others know and speak out. ~hugs~

Thanks I am going to share my storry with others

hearbrok.......they get through the net because they are good actors. My foster dad was an unregistered alcoholic financed by the money they received for fostering 5 kids, got away with that and other abuses for 11 years.Even when it was reported nothing was done. I do know that MOST are great parents, but some obviously still slip through. These kind of foster parents DO make money out of it as the kids do without. Oh how I used to know when the social workers were coming, we got new clothes from the local jumble sale ......and another luxury, a clean house and clean sheets.
I have suffered PTSD (now recovered), another brother is dead through drugs, another is as good as dead through drugs, another served time for sexually abusing his own kids and the last is followed into an abusive marriage (wife being abusive). These kids need to be protected better!
Tabby 2010...... please feel free to get in touch if you wish, or any others for that matter. I am so sorry that you had to go through this and were not believed. Hope you are dealing with it ok.

hearbrok.......they get through the net because they are good actors. My foster dad was an unregistered alcoholic financed by the money they received for fostering 5 kids, got away with that and other abuses for 11 years.Even when it was reported nothing was done. I do know that MOST are great parents, but some obviously still slip through. These kind of foster parents DO make money out of it as the kids do without. Oh how I used to know when the social workers were coming, we got new clothes from the local jumble sale ......and another luxury, a clean house and clean sheets.
I have suffered PTSD (now recovered), another brother is dead through drugs, another is as good as dead through drugs, another served time for sexually abusing his own kids and the last is followed into an abusive marriage (wife being abusive). These kids need to be protected better!
Tabby 2010...... please feel free to get in touch if you wish, or any others for that matter. I am so sorry that you had to go through this and were not believed. Hope you are dealing with it ok.

hearbrok.......they get through the net because they are good actors. My foster dad was an unregistered alcoholic financed by the money they received for fostering 5 kids, got away with that and other abuses for 11 years.Even when it was reported nothing was done. I do know that MOST are great parents, but some obviously still slip through. These kind of foster parents DO make money out of it as the kids do without. Oh how I used to know when the social workers were coming, we got new clothes from the local jumble sale ......and another luxury, a clean house and clean sheets.
I have suffered PTSD (now recovered), another brother is dead through drugs, another is as good as dead through drugs, another served time for sexually abusing his own kids and the last is followed into an abusive marriage (wife being abusive). These kids need to be protected better!
Tabby 2010...... please feel free to get in touch if you wish, or any others for that matter. I am so sorry that you had to go through this and were not believed. Hope you are dealing with it ok.

Tabby, I believe you and know you are telling the truth. There is foster parents like that. They know how to work the system and how to fool the case workers. I could never understand how DCS couldn't see what everyone could see, and why they wouldn't believe anyone but the FP. These are supposed to be trained people.They have a quota to meet, or they loose funding, so they don't care as long as the child stays in FC . Not only is there lousy FP there is lousey DCS workers! This I know about from experience, from dealing with both.

Announcing a new group on the Daily Strength Website:

A Child Abuse Survivors Group

If you were abused as a child, and are now are separated from the circumstances of your abuse, but continue to suffer from unpleasant memories, flashbacks, nightmares, post-traumatic stress disorder, have difficulty functioning in society, feel alone and friendless, feel 'different' from everyone else and have trouble fitting in, are living in poverty, sometimes wonder if you are human at all, or are experiencing other difficulties stemming from abuse, neglect, abandonment, torture, verbal abuse, physical abuse, etc., that occurred during your childhood or teenage years, you are invited to join this group.

To visit the group homepage now, please click on the link here:
www.dailystrength.org/groups/achildabusesurvivorsgroup

I'm shocked and saddened and angry and disgusted at the evil humans can do, too!

I adopted 3 children (of 7 siblings) from foster care a few years back and after 4 years of living with me (I was a foster parent), my son finally told me what had happened at the group home he lived at. It was (and maybe still is) a Christian based and funded group home but when I visited, the feelings of creepiness overwhelmed me. I was not surprised when he opened up, but I was shocked at the sheer... creativity... of the torture they put him through.

For some background, all my kids' parents were meth producers and the kids came into care after the lab exploded. After 4 family member placements, DFCS separated the sibling group and sent the younger ones to the agency I was with and him to a group home for teenagers. He was 5 years old. He wasn't potty-trained, he couldn't speak, and he could barely walk. No one had ever held him or taught him or even thought about him. He remembers stealing sugar packets from the kitchen to feed the younger kids.

The group home "parents" told him that it was his fault he was separated from his siblings because he was so bad no one could handle him. After a year of that, they started denying he had siblings at all and due to a mispelling in his name, his file was misplaced and DFCS lost track of him and his relation to the younger siblings. How I found out about him is another story. These people, instead of potty-training him, beat him with the metal end of a belt for having an accident. One of the "mothers" decided the devil was causing him to crap his pants and gave him enemas every day after school, put his clothes back on him and sent him outside to play with the other kids. He remembers the feeling of the diarrhea sliding out of his shorts and down his bicycle. He was punched in the face, sodomized with a pool cue, and belittled constantly in front of the other children. I still don't think that's the entire story...

You know what? I reported the home. His therapist reported the home. His psychiatrist reported the home. And nothing happened. The group home mother reported ME to DFCS for posting something on FaceBook about "whooping tails at work today." She also got a hold of my email address and started harassing me, telling me that "I stole her baby." (I had to fight for months to get custody of him and now I know why! He could tell us about the bad things.)

So I called the police and ended up being transferred to the criminal investigation unit of DHR. He was able to speak to a detective/social worker about it all and after that, he started standing taller. We had believed him and something had happened. I still care about what happened in his case (because I was never told) but I care more about the way he holds his head up with pride now.

He still hurts, though. Today he told me about another kid in his class who had been adopted and the whole "what adoption means" subject came up again. I told him that in the eyes of the law and even in the Bible, I AM HIS ONLY MOTHER. He said "so [group home]'s name can never get to me again?" "Nope, you're my kid now and I would move heaven and earth to keep it that way."

That goes for you too - they have no more hold over you. You survived and escaped and you have a voice. That's quite a bit of strength.