I guess what I have been experiencing lately is gymtimidation. Lately my gym has been really busy and been seeing people I think are kinda new. I'm one of those people who is hyperaware of my surroundings at all times. I'm constantly calculating and making judgements. That and my extremely fast reflexes have saved my ass a few times. Having trouble assessing these new people. I also don't like how crowded it is. It makes me feel like I am in the way. I have to observe other people's routines and try to figure out what they are doing so that I can fit my workout in between their sets so we can share the equipment. This of course has to happen nonverbally because nobody dares talk to one another.
I noticed a guy checking me out the other day which made me uncomfortable. I'm really conservative anyway, but now I'm worried I need to wear a sweatshirt tied around my butt or something. Maybe new gym clothes would help my confidence.
I also stopped going to all classes. I think I will ask about lowering my membership price. Kickboxing was cancelled and all the remaining classes were for cliques of perverted old ladies. I didn't feel welcome.
I just don't like feeling like I'm in anyone's way. There is a couple that used to come in together. I liked them. Haven't seen them in awhile. Now there is another couple and they are super annoying. Both hog the entire weight room. Like I get you have a routine but there are multiple pieces of equipment. Most people, including me, grab one bench and set up there, then use whatever dumbbells/barbells and put them back up when they get done. Not these people. They have their junk strewn from one end of the weight room to the other and then the woman is bad about sitting on a machine and playing on her phone. Gym owner has said something to them a couple times. Guess I need to be more patient.
Still it is hard when I have a specific workout plan which I purchased and I gotta deal with equipment hogs then as soon as they leave the leering man comes in then another young guy that usually does bodyweight exercises. Not sure if that's just his thing or because equipment is being hogged.
My gym has always been small, not busy, and mostly old or fat people. Now I never know what I'm walking into. The cardio machines are usually somewhat free but I don't start my workout with those. Cardio comes last so I burn thru more glycogen.
I guess I can make this work, but I do plan to ask for lowering of membership since the teacher I liked no longer works there and remaining classes suck. Not to mention the remaining personal trainer is annoying for many reasons so I have to buy my workout plans from my nutrition coach.
Sometimes I think I should open my own gym and get certified as a trainer. I could have a kitchen and teach weekly cooking classes too.
Tonight I am going to my first dinner/dance. It will be a first. I am somehow acutely aware of the Hell I was living in 22 days ago. I have not had yet to struggle/fight the urge to drink. When I think about forever I feel ambivalent about drinking or not drinking. When I think about tonight I am clear about my desire to stay sober. Today I am grateful for the peace I feel. I wish you all a...