Financial Challenges Support Group
This community is for people who are struggling to meet financial obligations of any kind. Financial challenges include everything from the day-to-day challenges of making ends meet to managing credit card debt to bankruptcy. Get support from others who are going through similar obstacles on the road back to financial stability.
Well, I am kind of in shock. I've been back in my flat for a week. I'm in shock because everything from first diagnosis to this week at home has just flown by.
I started last week, very numb and very much experiencing all the effects of this trauma. And by the effects I don't just mean the physical pain of it all. I also am talking about the emotional cost of it all.
You see from the day I first learned of everything (August 6) till the day of the operation (September 15) I ran everything like a military operation. I got ahead on my utility bills... got ahead on rent. The weekend before the operation, I had everything cleaned and organized for a handicap person. I had clean bedding. I purchased enough food and rinks to get me by for at least two weeks. Everything was prepared for me to live here on my own, which I do anyway but I have never done it with a 12 inch scar down the middle of my chest and a half dozen prescriptions to manage.
The one thing I didn't prepare for was the wall of coming back to my apartment. When I got back, everything I prepared for was over. If I do say so, I did a very good job at it all. But now there was nothing. That first night back in this apartment it hit me like a ton of bricks. The trauma of it all got to me. The cried non-stop for over an hour. And those first three days, I would cry at the drop of a hat.
Now though, the fog is lifting and physical, as well as mental recovery has started.
I've been getting my mail everyday for the last four days... which means going up and down 27 steps at least once a day. The last two days I've have ventured outside and took a walk around the complex, which when healthy would probably take me five minutes... now it takes 20 minutes, with numerous rests in between.
I have had co-workers and friends from 12 Step groups take me to appointments, so things are moving along.
I also have begun receiving my bills for this stuff... like I've mentioned, my total deductible was $3,200, which is what I've been paying on. Most of it is between two hospitals... one where most of the tests were performed and the other where I had the surgery. I did get all the paper work filled out to start claiming on a disability insurance policy I have and hope to start receiving income from that.
Before I had surgery I was living on $880 a month... the disability is for $1,100 a month... so I'll be doing good with it all.
I hope to start receiving it soon so I can leave savings alone and start helping friends out with paying for their gas for their cars. The next three weeks I have three different check-ups, so it'd be nice to have that money without dipping into emergency funds or savings.
Monday, the 29th, will be two weeks since my surgery and I almost hate to say it but I'm feeling pretty good. I had one good thing going for me heading into surgery and that was my overall health. I was in pretty good physical condition, considering the condition I was in...
I do know one thing for a fact FOR ME. I am so truly grateful that the three main doctors and the surgeon took the time to do and look at all of those tests. Knowing what I know now, I'm not sure if I could have done another operation, knowing the pain that awaited me. They did three operations at once... which left me beat up and still needing pain pills to sleep but no longer needing further operations to fix things....
NOTE this post is not about global politics or the health services in any country. Please don't post those opinions here, by doing so is not 12 Step work or having a 12 Step program. It is about being prepared for an emergency of this size and doing my best to stray on top of bills as well as get healthy again to return to work... it is about my ESH trying to deal with it all and the never ending gratitude I have for my HP...
I started last week, very numb and very much experiencing all the effects of this trauma. And by the effects I don't just mean the physical pain of it all. I also am talking about the emotional cost of it all.
You see from the day I first learned of everything (August 6) till the day of the operation (September 15) I ran everything like a military operation. I got ahead on my utility bills... got ahead on rent. The weekend before the operation, I had everything cleaned and organized for a handicap person. I had clean bedding. I purchased enough food and rinks to get me by for at least two weeks. Everything was prepared for me to live here on my own, which I do anyway but I have never done it with a 12 inch scar down the middle of my chest and a half dozen prescriptions to manage.
The one thing I didn't prepare for was the wall of coming back to my apartment. When I got back, everything I prepared for was over. If I do say so, I did a very good job at it all. But now there was nothing. That first night back in this apartment it hit me like a ton of bricks. The trauma of it all got to me. The cried non-stop for over an hour. And those first three days, I would cry at the drop of a hat.
Now though, the fog is lifting and physical, as well as mental recovery has started.
I've been getting my mail everyday for the last four days... which means going up and down 27 steps at least once a day. The last two days I've have ventured outside and took a walk around the complex, which when healthy would probably take me five minutes... now it takes 20 minutes, with numerous rests in between.
I have had co-workers and friends from 12 Step groups take me to appointments, so things are moving along.
I also have begun receiving my bills for this stuff... like I've mentioned, my total deductible was $3,200, which is what I've been paying on. Most of it is between two hospitals... one where most of the tests were performed and the other where I had the surgery. I did get all the paper work filled out to start claiming on a disability insurance policy I have and hope to start receiving income from that.
Before I had surgery I was living on $880 a month... the disability is for $1,100 a month... so I'll be doing good with it all.
I hope to start receiving it soon so I can leave savings alone and start helping friends out with paying for their gas for their cars. The next three weeks I have three different check-ups, so it'd be nice to have that money without dipping into emergency funds or savings.
Monday, the 29th, will be two weeks since my surgery and I almost hate to say it but I'm feeling pretty good. I had one good thing going for me heading into surgery and that was my overall health. I was in pretty good physical condition, considering the condition I was in...
I do know one thing for a fact FOR ME. I am so truly grateful that the three main doctors and the surgeon took the time to do and look at all of those tests. Knowing what I know now, I'm not sure if I could have done another operation, knowing the pain that awaited me. They did three operations at once... which left me beat up and still needing pain pills to sleep but no longer needing further operations to fix things....
NOTE this post is not about global politics or the health services in any country. Please don't post those opinions here, by doing so is not 12 Step work or having a 12 Step program. It is about being prepared for an emergency of this size and doing my best to stray on top of bills as well as get healthy again to return to work... it is about my ESH trying to deal with it all and the never ending gratitude I have for my HP...
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
Sorry for the typos, hopefully you understand it all...
Again you did good!
It is interesting to know that men feel the same as women when we encounter life changing events, particularly after being in the hospital. Most women feel like you felt after childbirth. When we arrive home, we don't feel great, and all of a sudden we are home and with a baby to care for. That postpartum depression kicks in for a few days. Same when coming back from the hospital after any surgery. That is one of the times when the 12 step program works wonderfully. Those times become shorter and shorter, with the knowledge that everything is how it's supposed to be and the knowledge that the HP is in charge. All will be just fine.
If you wonder why I talk "program", its because I have experienced how the program made my husband an even better person than he was, I decided to become part of the solution. So I worked and still work a program as well. I have been blessed that the AA family has accepted me even though I am not an alcoholic. I have found a home in the rooms. Unfortunately Alanon is not strong in our community.
Financially, you have done a wonderful job. It is interesting that one does not have to earn lots of money to be financially responsible. My parents were first generation immigrants, they did not speak English very well, and of course they did not earn a lot of money, yet they were always very responsible, to the point that they even paid a cemetery plot and had a paid up burial policy for themselves. They did not want me to be concerned for any expenses on their part. It can be done, its a matter of priorities. It always amazes me to hear people that have cable TV, new i-phones, a new car, etc. say "I can't afford health insurance". Wow, I was not raised that way at all. Responsibility for myself came first. Just like you have done. It is a wonderful example you have set. And I'm glad that you are sharing your experiences with all of us, it is great service work that you do.
God bless you.
Toty