Do you guys have a budget set up? Does she have access to see money in vs. money out? Sometimes it takes a visual aid to see how overspending hurts.

She sees it and knows the situation. It's hard to budget when every week the income goes to bills. We are usually left with only a few hundred dollars which then has a to go to groceries and gas and lunch money for our son.

get her to start listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio or online...make her read the books he has written....guy I know marriages fall apart over money but if debt is holding it together I think the thing is toast and you should go and pay to divorce....it would do you better to borrow to divorce than to stay going deeper and deeper into debt as a man married to the spending spree

I do want to just get divorced now and we have had fights where it nearly came to that, but I hate to leave with my 16 year old son having only 1 1/2 years left of high school. I'm hoping to hold out til he leaves for college. I have listened to Dave in the past. I like him and most of his points. I did convince her several years ago to follow a path that would help lead us out of debt, but issues came up that brought us back down.

I think attitudes on spending are sooo important in a marriage. If they are in direct opposition as it sounds like is the case with you Uh OH>

If it were me I would try to hang in there until my son graduated high school IF he had plans. My son knew he would be going to college. These days there is no magic age when kids leave as jobs are scarce but if he knows he plans on attending school somwhere or has a job lined up I would try to wait. I think I would then declare bankrupcy and divorce. Have you tried counseling? It is a thought. Do you or she have a deep faith? I do have a deep faith so I would be praying about it and asking for prayer from the minister,
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I am so sorry for you. My ex-sister in law turned my brother upside down financially and cost OUR parents 60.000 to get out of a legal mess. Two of my neices, have been found guilty of embezzlement. Some people like to spend way over what they make,.

The one thing that catches my attention is by any chance is it only in giving your wife goes overboard or does she spend excessively on other things? I know some families, as a last resort ,use the visa for essentials such as groceries and the like.

I had brought up counseling a few months back, but she didn't think we needed to go.

It's not only this time of year that she spends. She will buy things that are of no need. Little things, but they add up. Like an entry rug she has replaced 3 years straight now. There's nothing wrong with the rugs, she just changes her mind on what she likes constantly.
We did have our daughter get married this year and although there was some contribution from his parents we took the brunt of it and had to put most of it on credit cards. I know that is not my wife's fault, but she knew that's what we had to do and you would think that knowing we need to pay the bills down she would stop spending foolishly, but no.

She has faith and attends church, but I am not a church goer.

I want to say thank you to all that have responded. I appreciate that I can vent here and get input from people who have been thru this or are nice enough to offer some kind of help to me. I know it is something that will come to a head at some point, but needed to get this off my chest.

thanks

lost I think the fact she is church goer gives you a bit of a chip on the good side....talk to the church ministry about this...they can develop plans for the sermons and even offer counseling that is lower cost than other places...and often free...make an appointment with him/her at once...lay it out about this to them and where it is leading you in terms of the fragility of the marriage and they will want to help you even if you do not attend the church....it is my best thinking for your saving this marriage....or softening her heart to your message