WONDERFUL !!!

We are canceling our internet, cable, & expensive cell phone service. Our much loved little doggie had to have emergency surgery, it took all we had to pay down, and we now have a vet bill for part of the expenses, and on going expenses.

I am hoping to have internet back in February, or March, not totally sure. We are also moving on the 1st of December, which is more money.

I have admired your posts, and advice for sometime, and am using this thread to ask you for some thoughts on living on less, I/we were already very tight. We do not shop at malls, mostly thrift stores, we do not go to movies, or expensive restaurants, we are already fairly frugal. However now it has to get tighter.

I am hoping that you would be willing to share your thoughts on your mindset when you were at your most broke. What type of self talk did you engage in ? If it is not too personal to ask.

Thank you Dreamsicle...

My mindset when I was most broke? Wow... it started out as total fear. I was flat broke and even though I had a job I had no money coming in for a couple of weeks.

I was blessed that my landlord worked with me and held my rent check and my deposit for two weeks or I would have been homeless. I don't have brothers or sisters or parents to squeeze money out of... it was me and only me.

I did have enough money for turning on the lights, which in my apartment is everything. But that was it... its been four years since all this happened so my memory with exact figures is no more... but I had like $25 for those two weeks and nothing else.

I had no food, bathing supplies, toiletries, I had nothing. I bought the cheapest toilet paper I could find and a bar of soap and that was it... my meals consisted of day old bread filled with peanut butter and jelly or a cheese sandwich.

When I moved here I had the choice of two apartments, I chose the one I'm in because it had a couch and that was my furniture for the first couple of months here. Being 6'4" tall, the couch was a little to small to sleep comfortably on so my bed was the floor.

My fear weighed me down for quite awhile. My first paycheck was half gone because of the rent check being held and for the first time in my life I was scared to death to spend any money just because I was fearful I would forget to pay something.

My first priority was getting my checkbook in order. I had bounced checks for a long time. I had overdraft protection and the checks were cashed but I still lost a lot of money this way. It was also my start with saving money. Every check I wrote I rounded up and every deposit I made I rounded down. Nearly four years later my checkbook has almost $1,000 extra in it by doing this and bouncing checks is a thing of the past.

Anyway, after the fear started to leave and I was keeping current with my light bill and my rent, anger entered my life. First I was angry at my ex-wife because I foretold this calamity for a couple of years and she wouldn't work with me to try and fix it. Then I was angry at myself. I couldn't blame her... I walked freely into this mess.

That first month I had no internet... but I still was on my computer every night. I journaled my thoughts and went through and cleaned my PC of old files and organized everything on it.

I had an old TV that I didn't have a converter box for... so I had no TV... so after playing on the computer I would spend the evening going through my collections and organizing them. I have quite a sports memorabilia collection and it was very relaxing at nights listening to the radio and going through all my goodies.

It was from this anger and shame that I started to pay my bills. Like I have mentioned before, it was not a program of action, it was rather a reaction. Every time someone threatened me with a garnishment or a court date I went to work on paying them off. I never paid more then one bill at a time... I fell far behind on a couple of bills doing this but my mindset was that it was OK because I was paying one off.

My Higher Power helped me along the way too. I never was threatened by more then one company at a time. Usually when one was paid off the next one would send me a notice.

Along the way, I started helping myself by cutting down on my expenses. I quit smoking and then I cut back on drinking soda. I used to drink anywhere from a six pack to a twelve pack of soda a day.

I have not bought a can of soda in over three years. I buy two litre bottles (usually three of them) every two weeks and drink a lot more juices, teas, and the walmart version of crystal light.

I used to have a daily sweet roll... I cut that down to once a week. I used to buy the newspaper now I read the paper online. I never use a clothes dryer. All my clothes are hung in my apartment after washing on a drying rack - one that I bought and one that I made.

I don't spend loose change, except for some quarters to was my clothes... and I quit using dollar bills... every time I get a dollar bill in change it goes into my savings account.

All little things but they do add up... the first year I cut back on things I save close to $9,000 by not spending it. All that money was used to pay off bills. Not spending dollar bills has given me and extra $472 this year in savings.

Now... living frugally for today? When I was in England last year, I had a day in town by myself while I waited for my girlfriend to get off of work. I went to the library and read the newspapers and played on the internet and best of all I was warm. If I was struggling to justify heating my apartment, I would spend a lot of my free time in the library.

Where I live there is a beautiful three mile walk around the river. I take it often and snap photos all the time around it. Along the way, I pass by a pet park and often think how neat it would be if I was able to have a dog to take him there and sit in the sun and watch him play. They have picnic tables where I could bring a lunch and make a day of it.

This winter I am hoping to radically reduce my utility bill so that means when I am not in a room that all doors are shut and the heat is off. When I use my oven, when I'm done I'll leave the door open as it is "free" heat for the apartment.

I don't know exactly when it happened but halfway through my experience, my fear of opening the mail disappeared. I was confident knowing that whoever was writing me that I had a real plan to pay them back. Answering the phone took awhile longer but that to came along.

I look back to where I was and where I am at now and I'm just so full of gratitude. I have no pride in what I have done because, for me, it shouldn't have gotten that bad.

But I am grateful because through all that stress as an alcoholic - I didn't drink. I'm grateful that I was able to keep my job. I'm grateful that I have finally realized that what I want often is not what I need and now I can pass on those things. And I am extremely grateful to understand that if I want to do something I can save for it or budget for it - I don't need a credit card to make my dreams come true...

I hope this helps ya....

My Goals for 2014.....

1. Become fully qualified in Text Processing in order to make myself more employable. (The main issue I had with failing to get a Job was wishful thinking rather than get the necessary qualifications)

2. Continue with the technical writing. This will be a secondary source of income for me, all going well, and hopefully this will help me along the way.

3. Keep up with creative writing. This will keep me in the right frame of mind for writing.

4. Get more counseling. I am going back to Counseling and hopefully this will help me along the way.

messenger brilliant post..reading youre reply to dreamsicle of what happened to you and how you have turned things around..I have had comments from people youre strong..its ok for you..I certainly havent felt it when youre faced with curved balls one after the other..you wonder how you will ever get through it..can you its a very good question..many things you have wrote..the anger..I get moments of anger some of it is at myself ..some of it is at people who made it harder for me when I was at my lowest..so my goals are..I take the good from it..I dont want to be bitter..learn from it and be proud of myself for turning the curved balls back..also seeing there are good people out there..people who say money isnt everything are ones who have it ..it is when you dont have any..my goals are to keep a good balance ..keeping a grip on everything

aaaah Jokey.... it is so very true. I always try to have an attitude of gratitude. I am so grateful that my landlord trusted me enough to hold my check, heck just to let me move in.

I'm grateful that I didn't give up, that I found a hidden reserve of strength within to keep on moving forward.

Strong? I had no personal strength. Early on I cried myself to sleep... fearful of losing what little I had - including my job. And I cried because I was so hungry.

So many times I heard "you have broad shoulders." That I could handle it. No one really wanted to hear my fears or see my real desperation... it was a horrible time that I'm grateful I got to experience... it made me strong - not physically, but mentally and spiritually and for that I'll be forever grateful...

I agree the written portion in response to dreamy is a great example of doing the next right thing....

I have decided on my first goal for 2014...increasing my savings account to double the first installment of $1500 to make it $3000 in savings....I hope I can accomplish that...

I know I need to curtail spending. I will attempt to do just that to the best of my ability. Living within my means is a concept that I do understand just never applied...today I want to not debt. I did not debt last night when I had no money and went to dinner with friend...see I had bought his steak dinner week or so ago...he knew I was broke and bought my dinner and we also went to a frozen custard place for dessert....I did not want the sugar of the frozen custard and finding Hot Chocolate on Menu for $1 I asked for that with whipped cream which we found later cost to add.

I did give him the $4 cash I had left in my pocket to help with dinner and tipping.

I know you work in food service in some capacity....what do you think of tipping? Do you tip when you go out to eat? I know you do not do that as often as I do....

anyway if I can cut spending and build that savings two fold next year I will have met my goal that I am now setting. See you Dec. 31, 2014 unless I get my bumm ass banned from DS for stupid crap....

I don't mind tipping... some folks rely on tipping for a major part of their income. I don't eat out much at all, nor do much of anything throughout the year... so when I do I tip quite freely.

For a good meal 20%

I get my haircut for $7.50... I give the barber a $10 and tell him to keep the change.

I take a taxi to the airport... it is a $90 ride... on the ride there in the morning I give a $10 tip... on the ride back home late at night I give a $20 tip.

I have pizza delivered and usually give the driver a $3 tip...

I just consider it part of the "experience" of enjoying myself.

Last year I cam back from England in mid January... I called the taxi company from Chicago telling them when I would be arriving at the airport. Well, it ended up being delayed and I didn't get to my final stop till an hour later then when I was originally scheduled too.

The driver sat there for over an hour waiting for me and then another half hour after I arrived. I apologized and she understood that it was out of my control. Anyway, the ride back to my apartment is about 45 minutes... so we chatted about England and the holiday season.

She dropped me off and I gave her a $20 bill... it was well worth it. I'll never forget the look on her face... it was a perfect end to my holiday...

Another thing to consider about tipping -- many food service workers make less than minimum wage. In many states, Employers of workers who receive tips are allowed to pay those workers less than minimum wage with the assumption that they'll make up the difference in tips. In those states an employee who has a slow day or customers who don't tip may end up the day with $20 or so for a full day of work.

I took my first step for starting my 2014 goals.

I mentioned going from 5% to 7% on my 401K. I thought about it for awhile and went to 10%. My reasoning is hoping and praying that I get a 3% raise, so that would all go to the 401K plus the 2% I was thinking about.

My best return on investment is with the mutual funds I have with a 401K... so it's time to try and make more, I certainly am not making much of anything with just savings...

So starting the 1st of the year I'll be at 10%, so just 40% more in savings to meet my goal...