welcome home....sounds like you have the things taken care of on the health side with doctors ekg and such....so how is the love life of a distant relationship doing? I am not one who would wish to have a distant relationship but seems God has some other plans as I am told that someone I met last year from Houston is returning in July and wants a date with me....she is what I call trifecta...pretty, smart and has great career and making tons of money....maybe more than tri fecta quad fecta? LOL

I am happy to be honored to be able to take her around town while she is here but involvements beyond my ability like distant relationships tell me not to become too aggressive in pursuit of romancing her....although I might like that it would be too difficult....and someone would be hurt...so not the next right thing...but casual dates with a good night kiss yeay yeppo I can go for that!

Our relationship is pretty near perfect. We talk every night for an hour... and just having an hour, you get out of the habit of "fluff" talk and go to a deeper spiritual connection. For us, this was the only way we could be at this point.

She is finishing up on an internship from her university degree and really couldn't devote full time to me if we lived together or in the same town.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to offer her when we met. I was deep in debt and showed no signs of being mature enough to get a grip on my life. While she was studying, I was getting out of debt.

It has been a wonderful experience, I grew individually and when I got out of debt I was ready for a deeper relationship.

There was no way I would have been a good companion for her if we lived closer. She would have been the center of my attention and not getting out of debt.

Like I said, for us, it has been a perfect relationship and we are now at a point where we are making plans to be together 24/7 instead of a couple of times each year...

I hear ya...yeah I spoiled the relationship I have been dating with all the focus on my issues with debt and no money...she is gone for most part now and never was there for me sexually since at the onset I said I was not financially fit for a relationship...but I guess I tried to get one going and failed miserably because she isn't interested in my life now....and isn't making time available to get together.....sad but it is what it is...she is debt free owns her home without debt too....it is a big fixer upper having many needs but it isn't costing her to lay her head down on soft pillows at night....

Bill

No offence, mate, but I sincerely doubt that that relationship would work. In this country at least, Women expect their partners to be self-sufficient and have no time for 'freeloaders'. (I remember when all the Celebrity Gossip pages went on about the Husband Britney had being financially dependent on her)

I am trying to get myself out of my old enmeshment pickle. Now I am seeing how far I can go on a spending plan of 150 per week. This weekend, I had to add an additional 50 I had in reserve for booking a night in a Motel to guarantee Internet access for my Step 5 in UA. (Took 15 minutes to do that on Google Hangout, my Sponsor is a Google Fangirl so it's a lesson in acceptance for me)

Also, I am considering getting a place of my own in Cookstown to become self-sufficient. I have spoken with my Occupational Therapist about this and she will see if there are any places available for me. Of course I will have to consider rent, but that will mean less driving; therefore less money on petrol. Also, I will keep my ear to the ground regards job opportunities.

And, one last thing, the Dollar has strengthened against Sterling so it was a good time for Dave to visit Manchester. I was also lucky to book my flight to Toronto with Orbitz before the Dollar became stronger. Perhaps, at long last, the Fed is being held accountable?

desi I don't appreciate being called a freeloader....

Bill, I think you were right to mention your troubles to this woman... she deserved that respect... no one should start or get in a relationship with secrets.

When we started chatting, we were far from having any type of relationship. We spoke about 12 Step programs and our hope for the future. My hope was to get out of debt. Hers? Her degree... every night we talked about our hopes and in a short time, we became each others cheerleader.

She witnessed me overcoming fears of answering the phone or opening my mail. She watched me repair my credit and celebrated my joy when I got my first CC. The damagge I had done was being repaired.

I learned I could stand on my own two feet. We both learned that we wanted to be with each other and had no dysfunctional neediness from each other.

This past year, I learned how well I could handle a medical emergency with very little help from others. I leaned on God and it was a very powerful experience.

This winter, my girlfriend saw how well I manage my diet and my management with my meds. We are working on a future together. And we are already planning on our "alone time" together. With trips to different parts of Europe. Germany, Italy, and Malta, as well as Ireland to name a few.

These plans and hopes would have never happened if we tried to "force" the issue of romance. She had a goal and I had to many skeletons in the closet (debts.)

Now I have the confidence to move forward with no secrets and just our hopes and dreams...

I always need to remember none of this would have been possible if I was still in debt. That debt would have buried me this past year with all the added medical bills and traveling to England would have never happened.

Being debt free is the only way for me...

Wasn't intending to be disrespectful Bill, it's just an analysis based on my experience.

It does take a while to come out of our shells, but it will be worth it in the end. When I get assisted living I will still look for work. Theoretically, I'll be doing less driving therefore less need for petrol. (Petrol is incing closer to 1 per litre here = our equivalent of America's '$1 a Gallon' barometer) I sincerely hope Obama doesn't launch an invasion of Syria, Bush's Foreign Policy was what jacked up Gas prices IMHO.

Again, no disrespect intended. Just exercising caution.

pot calling kettle black in my opinion anyway desi....

Desi, it is better to chose words carefully. There is no reason to post something fast without much thought.

In reality, you would be considered a freeloader in America... if it wasn't for the government where would you be?

*Amends Made*

The way that truthfully is done is to state that you created a problem for someone else. Admit you were wrong and promise that with Gods help and the twelve step program you are working that you will never do the same thing to them again or to another human being!

When you do the proper amends its a big deal you have talked with sponsor over and usually written out what you intend to say to that person. I am guessing you've never had much assistance in how to make propper amends when working step 9, because just telling me that your making amends for a problem created admits no wrong, and doesnt address how the situation can be made right! Also the intent to never repeat what has been deemed wrong behavior is important too!

Sorry Messenger for stealing your thread over being called a name and now how to do propper step with it.

I accept your attempt Desigol, you should move on now! Reread how my groups use things within thier words to truly try making things right when one has done someone a harm! Its important too especially when talking with them in person to ask that person what you can do to make things right with them before you part ways! For they may then tell you an exacting action you can take to complete these amends to thier satisfaction! Perhaps dropping and extra buck into seveth tradition would be what I would ask had you done things the way our healthy AA groups here in my area suggest an amends be made!