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Warning: May include some venting
i htought i'd update you'all on wat happened with my friend who i rent the 4th bdroom to. (sorry if i can't type today, hope you can still read it)
1st, some brief back ground on it: my friend who i've known since 05 when we were neighbors (back then), his name is Ricky. after we both moved apart, some time last year as i was getting ready to buy this current house... he got arrested for public drunkenness (was an alchoholc), then got his car stolen while drunk, and then got kicked out of the house he was living in. so i let him cra\sh on my couch for about 4 days. he then had to go back to prison (cuz drinking was against his parole). after he got out of prison he had no where to go, and by that time i had already bought this house and moved. i let him rent the 4th bed room under the conditions that he does NOT drink or violate any parole conditions, or i'd have to kick him out.
then my bf Matthew moved in around the same time Ricky moved in. all of a sudden, Ricky felt like we weren't spending enough time together as friends anymore. keep in mind that buying a house and then moving and then moving Matthew in was taking a toll on the fibro.
i tried explaning to Ricky about FMS, and as time went on tried to help him understand what i was going thru. but more and more over time he has been holding grudges against me or accusing me of purposely "pushing" him away. also tried to always psycho analize me and tell me what he thinks i should or should not be doing, or what he thinks is mentally wrong with me.
then it kept geting worse... his constant demand of me to explain my life to him and make time for him began to start drama in the house. and he started coming up with more and more "delusions". saying that Matthew is controlling me and keeps me locked up in my room ALL day, that i exaggerate my pain and when something hurts a lil, all of a sudden i wear a CAST around and limp around, etc (more delusions). 1t of all, i'm not even home ALL day to be "locked up in my room" and i don't even have a "cast". but i htink he may be referring to my compression hose for the varicose veins, but yes my leg does swell and i need to get it up. we all know this is what varicose veins do.
anyways.... last night i broke the news to him (after he has been causing so much commotion around here) that it is unhealthy for me and mom to have a pesron living with us that cuases STRESS and DRAMA (mom has bipolar, and PTSD from living in Indonesia) . so he needs to move out, and that since we have 2 trucks, will help him move and i even printed out a list of affordable places for him to look at.
that's when all hell broke lose! he started yelling at me and calling me and my mom a 'bunch of needy fucking people" calleds us crazy and "not normal", calling my mom's emotions 'Crazy", etc. then demamnded that we answer to him why we never ask him for help around the house. also told me that what i'm putting Matthew trough isn't right (living with my Fibro).... and on and on &on he yelled! every time i tried to say somethin he cut me off! he even blocked the stairs so i couldn't go upstairs and get Matthew. and he talked down to me saying that 'at least i'm gettin ready to go to college and do something!!! in 5 years or so i can call y'all and y'all will still probably be living here all limping around and whining,not doing anyhting!"
whatever ...l i told him to fuck off and start packing. he also asked me to pay for his security deposit at the new place. or borrow the money to him!!! he really needs a new psychiatrist!!! good thing a mutual friend of mine and his already told me to call him if Ricky won't leave so he can 'come get his ass" uz he loves my family and will always protect us.
gee... thanks for letting me write all this. i'm so damn stressed right now...
i htought i'd update you'all on wat happened with my friend who i rent the 4th bdroom to. (sorry if i can't type today, hope you can still read it)
1st, some brief back ground on it: my friend who i've known since 05 when we were neighbors (back then), his name is Ricky. after we both moved apart, some time last year as i was getting ready to buy this current house... he got arrested for public drunkenness (was an alchoholc), then got his car stolen while drunk, and then got kicked out of the house he was living in. so i let him cra\sh on my couch for about 4 days. he then had to go back to prison (cuz drinking was against his parole). after he got out of prison he had no where to go, and by that time i had already bought this house and moved. i let him rent the 4th bed room under the conditions that he does NOT drink or violate any parole conditions, or i'd have to kick him out.
then my bf Matthew moved in around the same time Ricky moved in. all of a sudden, Ricky felt like we weren't spending enough time together as friends anymore. keep in mind that buying a house and then moving and then moving Matthew in was taking a toll on the fibro.
i tried explaning to Ricky about FMS, and as time went on tried to help him understand what i was going thru. but more and more over time he has been holding grudges against me or accusing me of purposely "pushing" him away. also tried to always psycho analize me and tell me what he thinks i should or should not be doing, or what he thinks is mentally wrong with me.
then it kept geting worse... his constant demand of me to explain my life to him and make time for him began to start drama in the house. and he started coming up with more and more "delusions". saying that Matthew is controlling me and keeps me locked up in my room ALL day, that i exaggerate my pain and when something hurts a lil, all of a sudden i wear a CAST around and limp around, etc (more delusions). 1t of all, i'm not even home ALL day to be "locked up in my room" and i don't even have a "cast". but i htink he may be referring to my compression hose for the varicose veins, but yes my leg does swell and i need to get it up. we all know this is what varicose veins do.
anyways.... last night i broke the news to him (after he has been causing so much commotion around here) that it is unhealthy for me and mom to have a pesron living with us that cuases STRESS and DRAMA (mom has bipolar, and PTSD from living in Indonesia) . so he needs to move out, and that since we have 2 trucks, will help him move and i even printed out a list of affordable places for him to look at.
that's when all hell broke lose! he started yelling at me and calling me and my mom a 'bunch of needy fucking people" calleds us crazy and "not normal", calling my mom's emotions 'Crazy", etc. then demamnded that we answer to him why we never ask him for help around the house. also told me that what i'm putting Matthew trough isn't right (living with my Fibro).... and on and on &on he yelled! every time i tried to say somethin he cut me off! he even blocked the stairs so i couldn't go upstairs and get Matthew. and he talked down to me saying that 'at least i'm gettin ready to go to college and do something!!! in 5 years or so i can call y'all and y'all will still probably be living here all limping around and whining,not doing anyhting!"
whatever ...l i told him to fuck off and start packing. he also asked me to pay for his security deposit at the new place. or borrow the money to him!!! he really needs a new psychiatrist!!! good thing a mutual friend of mine and his already told me to call him if Ricky won't leave so he can 'come get his ass" uz he loves my family and will always protect us.
gee... thanks for letting me write all this. i'm so damn stressed right now...
thanks, D! thanks, Angel! you guys are always so supportive!
You will be so much happier when he's gone. It's too bad that he had to be this way. No one needs to get nasty about things. But if this is what he's used to.....I suppose, to each their own, right?
I'm happy for you. I'm glad that you have Matthew there and your other friend too.
Hugs!
Just be sure you have someone with you at all times, as this kind of situation can be volatile. He may have trouble finding a place to live because of his record. Many landlords do background checks now, as it's easy and cheap to get the records through the Internet. That's also not your problem. He has this background because of issues he has and choices he's made - it's not your fault. I know you know that, but it helps to be reminded - especially if he's blaming you.
Stay safe - and keep us posted. I'm glad you stood up to him as that kind of drama is hard on healthy people, and harder on us.
and Peace, he did mention to us that the background check and record thing would be a problem for him finding a new place. he pleaded and almost begged to stay. he kept apologizing but then he would aggravated and say mean things again. then back to apologizing.
my mom almost forgave him and wanted to let him stay again. but he has done this before and i think he has blown his chances already. I DO NOT want a repeat of this in the future, so the decision is final. he has to GO. so far he hasn't gone with out a fight. he still keeps pleading his case and how it can work out if he stayed.
but i explained to mom about how sensitive i am to spirits and auras. this house is a temple... and with out drama it has a calming color of an off white opal. his drama, anger and delusions taint it with dark colors and black. i cannot have this in my house. even though he tends to have good intentions, his drama alone taints it.
after he leaves, mom will pray over the house and ask God to bless it. i will pray over it as well to bring back the peace and balance. call me superstitious or whatever, but God has created a spirit world behind the physical world. and some of us are more sensitive to it. after this i will no longer rent out the room to anyone, it will be a guest house only.
anyways... he is looking for a new place and he is clam enough now to accept our offer of helping him move. pray for me that this goes well! thanks! love you all!
Will definitely be saying some prayers that things goes really smooth and that your home because a place of serenity once again.
Sending warm caring thoughts your way.
Gentle hugs, Sherrall