I haven't been on in a long time. Here is an update.
I had a Leep procedure done and they took quite a bit of tissue out. Went back a couple of weeks later and got the results of the biopsy that was done on the tissue they removed. It was all cancerous, so I was supposed to go in the first of June to have more testing done, but I ended up coming to North Dakota. And I am still in North Dakota. My Grandma is 91, has survived breast cancer, outlived three, yes three of her boyfriends and my grandpa. But now cancer has come back. What we thought was one tumor turned out to be many tumors on her spine and in her ribs. They are eating away at the bones. She had surgery last week to fill in the parts that have been eaten away, with a bone cement. The three places they did worked wonderfully, but she has a couple of more places in her sacrum that have to be done too. Crappy thing is Medicare and her supplemental insurance won't cover it. Because she is too old, and has so much cancer and they consider it experimental. So we have been searching for a way to finance the surgery. The cement procedure alone is between 8 and 10 thousand dollars. My mom put down 3500.00 of it so they could at least do the surgery and then pay for the rest of it later. This is not a life saving procedure though, just pain relief. The tumors on and in her spine and ribs are inoperable. So the docs give her a month to 9 months. It just depends on how quickly the cancer progresses. I have enjoyed taking care of her. We have spent a lot of time together and even though she is pretty cranky and crotchety I wouldn't miss this time with her for the world. But it makes you sad to see someone so dignified reduced to having to be helped to take a shower and get dressed. I have only lost it one time, when we found out just how many tumors there were and when she came out of surgery and was still in so much pain. It has been extremely hard on me, but I stay strong for her. She has been so much a part of my life I can't imagine life without her. To see someone so strong in the past, be so weak and frail. It breaks my heart. But I know she has lived a long wonderful life. My sister and I were talking, and what an amazing journey her life has been, and the history she has seen. The first car, radio, television, The Depression, The dust bowl years, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, The Gulf War, the first man on the moon, woodstock, and the list goes on and on. We can only hope to see that much history in our lives. I said she was crotchety, but she deserves to be cranky. lol I just hope I live my life as well as she has lived hers and that I have made her proud.
So keep her in your prayers and thoughts.

I am planning on going home on the 23rd of June, and will make a doctors appointment to get myself taken care of too. Doc and I are thinking a hysterectomy. I did call her before I left and she said it would be ok to come but only gave me til the middle of July. She said not to wait too long. Right now I am the only one with the time to take care of Grandma. And I am the only one that can give her the shot she needs every day. So I will staying as long as I can without putting my own health at risk.
The fibro is in full blown flare, so I am hurting really bad but I keep it to myself and take my meds. Which I am really pissed because my wonderful (haha) druggie sister stole a bunch of them. The muscle relaxers and my vicodin. So I might not make it til I get home and I worry that if I call asking for more I will get cut off. Who knows. Might be worth a try though.

I have to make a huge decision concerning my druggie sister. I was taking care of my grandma at my mom and dads house and I answered the phone and it was the mother of a friend of my sister. She said that she was prostituting her self for drugs and drinking a half a gallon of whiskey a day. She has a psychiatrist that she sees and he gives her 60 Ritalin a month but they are gone in two days cause she is injecting them or snorting them. So I am trying to decide if I should tell my mom and dad. I talked to my brother and he said that it was not unusual to get these kind of calls but I should still tell my mom and dad. Only problem is they don't like to hear anything bad about her and always shoot the messenger when we do tell them anything about her. It's a little messed up.

Any way sorry this has been so long, but just needed to let you guys know where I have been and what is going on. And my North Dakota friends I am in Bismarck right now but will be going back to Minot here shortly. Let me know where you are at and maybe we could meet up for coffee. I have a car here so could drive your way too.

I don't have internet at home so will be out of touch for a bit when I get home, but will let you know what is going on as soon as we have it back.

I miss my friends on DS and your support. Love to you all.

seattlesue