Just want to say thank you, again. I've been here less than 24 hours and already feel like I have a new group of friends :)

I would like to know how you all handle work and balance life when symptoms flare up really bad. My boss is pretty cool and doesn't ask too many questions but I hate to call out sick all the time (plus I am out of paid time off and my work does not offer sick time). I am not a flaky person. I have always been a reliable worker who busts my ass and am good at my job. But I have a lot of days lately where all I can do is lay my head on my desk for a while or go to the bathroom to cry. I pride myself on being tough (even though I am highly sensitive) but I have days, more and more lately, where I just can't anymore. I'm tired of being strong, I'm tired of working through the pain, I just want to curl up in a ball and have someone take care of me. I just want to go home but I need to get paid, and I also work for a fairly large company and so no matter how cool my immediate boss is, he will eventually have to hold me accountable for missing work all the time due to strict attendance policies (that were designed for all the college kids I work with that regularly call in sick after staying up to late with their friend Jose Cuervo).

On top of working full time, I also just started back at school looking toward a career change. I am only taking 4 credits but with my illness(es) and working full time, I am finding it very hard to balance. I go to work, come home and study for 2-4 hours (the brain fog causes me to have to re-read pages over and over again and I have to take notes as I read or I will never remember anything) and then go to bed too late and get little sleep. I end up drinking too much caffeine during the day, which I know is really bad for my symptoms, but I just don't know how else to get it all done and stay conscious.

I think I set the bar too high for myself. I have always had high expectations of myself and push myself too hard. I just don't know how to give myself a real break. I have a coworker that is also going back to school and he is taking 15 credits while working 32 hours a week and manages to also be this pleasant happy and fun person to be around. I know I shouldn't compare myself to other people but it makes me feel like I should be able to handle it all when I can't. I think part of it is being a woman. Even when I was relatively healthy, I pushed myself hard to prove that I was strong, smart, and could do it all myself and didn't need anyone to take care of me. Now, with my health deteriorating and feeling like garbage all the time, I feel embarrassed. I have to ask for help a lot, I'm not as strong as I used to be, and I get pissed off/sad/frustrated very easily.

Anyway, I just wonder if anyone out there has tips on how to balance and cope with everything. Have any of you had the conversation with your boss that you have fibromyalgia? Can you qualify for intermittent FMLA for fibro? 

Thanks again! Hope you all feel well and are having a good day <3