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My sis, I adore and practically raised her as there is 12 yrs between us, but she is quiet and watches life while I go full tilt screaming "We can do this! I know we can get by with it! Come on! It'll be fun!"
So, one day I am visiting her and we get ready to go to our mom's. I have my daughter in the van with me and sis lives in the country. So we go downhill on a curvy one lane road and I spot a tarpon (turtle) in the road. I miss it then realize the next car could hit it and I can't stand that so I shove the van in reverse and start going backwards up this curvy one lane country road.
Sis freaks screaming "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" to which I reply "Sure I can, see, you just drive backwards. She then states "WHAT IF ANOTHER CAR IS COMING?!" I calmly reply, "Nah, won't happen." and proceed to back up. I then park the car while sis is having a nervous breakdown and hyperventilating and my daughter is acting like this a normal standard behavior for her mom, what's the big deal?
I get out to save the poor creature tarpon and get back into van and tell freaked sis to "hold this". She is now against the van door losing it saying "I CAN'T TOUCH THAT THING!" And about this time my daughter is going "OOOOOOO, Let me hold it!" I explain to keep her fingers away from the head as it can take a finger off. So she is thrilled to hold the tarpon by its shell on her lap with sis unsticking herself from the van door.
OOPS! Daughter is now yelling, "MOM! IT PEED ON ME!" Not to worry. I calmly say "It's just turtle pee." I dig for napkins and throw them to her in the back seat. SHEEZ! So, now daughter doesn't want to hold the turtle anymore and I am driving through this ENTIRE EPISODE of sis unsticking herself from van door, turtle peeing, and throwing napkins!
I keep driving digging for a plastic bag from the store which I always keep in the cars, put turtle in bottom of bag and leave it open so it doesn't die from asphyxiation. I then hook it between the seat of mine and my sister. Yes, she goes back to the van door.
I am driving thru all this and notice the turtle is trying to escape. Sis notices too and states "IT'S CLIMBING OUT!" to which I calmly state, "Well, you better shake the side of the bag a little or it will get loose in the car." She, being shocked and mortified says "I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT THING!" I said, "Fine then it will just crawl out on you." She shook the bag with every twitch that turtle made.
15 minutes later we are at mom's and sis runs into the house yelling for mom and that I am crazy and have a turtle and blurbs the entire story as my daughter calmly gets out and I am retrieving the poor turtle.
I come into the house with my turtle and sis immediately runs THRU the house locking herself in the bedroom. Mom is just shaking her head.
I hold the turtle at face level at the door and say to sis, "Come on out, the turtle's gone." She has learned, as I taught her well, "I AIN'T COMIN' OUT! YOU GOT THAT THING RIGHT AT THE DOOR!" I'm losing it totally and mom is going into mom mode but she's just used to this as this is life with her children! I suppose mom mode doesn't stop just because one is in her late 30's (me) and one is in her 20's (sis).
So finally, mom breaks up the fun and demands I put the turtle outside. I know she is serious as she uses my full name! I slump and do as I am told and take poor fella outside and let it loose under a nice cool out building for safety. I then come in and wash my hands and sis is still locked in the bedroom screaming for mom saying "IS IT REALLY GONE? DID SHE REALLY TAKE IT OUT??" By this point mom is laughing as well and we both assure poor sis she is safe from the running attacking turtle.
I return home, made t-shirts to match with a turtle on it and called it the "SISTER'S TURTLE CLUB" but when I called to tell her I was mailing her a package, but not what was in it, she said "IT BETTER NOT BE ALIVE AND IT BETTER NOT BE A TURTLE!" I told her just to open it quickly, it wouldn't bite, to take good care of it and let her imagination do the rest. (evil grin & laugh)
So, one day I am visiting her and we get ready to go to our mom's. I have my daughter in the van with me and sis lives in the country. So we go downhill on a curvy one lane road and I spot a tarpon (turtle) in the road. I miss it then realize the next car could hit it and I can't stand that so I shove the van in reverse and start going backwards up this curvy one lane country road.
Sis freaks screaming "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!" to which I reply "Sure I can, see, you just drive backwards. She then states "WHAT IF ANOTHER CAR IS COMING?!" I calmly reply, "Nah, won't happen." and proceed to back up. I then park the car while sis is having a nervous breakdown and hyperventilating and my daughter is acting like this a normal standard behavior for her mom, what's the big deal?
I get out to save the poor creature tarpon and get back into van and tell freaked sis to "hold this". She is now against the van door losing it saying "I CAN'T TOUCH THAT THING!" And about this time my daughter is going "OOOOOOO, Let me hold it!" I explain to keep her fingers away from the head as it can take a finger off. So she is thrilled to hold the tarpon by its shell on her lap with sis unsticking herself from the van door.
OOPS! Daughter is now yelling, "MOM! IT PEED ON ME!" Not to worry. I calmly say "It's just turtle pee." I dig for napkins and throw them to her in the back seat. SHEEZ! So, now daughter doesn't want to hold the turtle anymore and I am driving through this ENTIRE EPISODE of sis unsticking herself from van door, turtle peeing, and throwing napkins!
I keep driving digging for a plastic bag from the store which I always keep in the cars, put turtle in bottom of bag and leave it open so it doesn't die from asphyxiation. I then hook it between the seat of mine and my sister. Yes, she goes back to the van door.
I am driving thru all this and notice the turtle is trying to escape. Sis notices too and states "IT'S CLIMBING OUT!" to which I calmly state, "Well, you better shake the side of the bag a little or it will get loose in the car." She, being shocked and mortified says "I AM NOT TOUCHING THAT THING!" I said, "Fine then it will just crawl out on you." She shook the bag with every twitch that turtle made.
15 minutes later we are at mom's and sis runs into the house yelling for mom and that I am crazy and have a turtle and blurbs the entire story as my daughter calmly gets out and I am retrieving the poor turtle.
I come into the house with my turtle and sis immediately runs THRU the house locking herself in the bedroom. Mom is just shaking her head.
I hold the turtle at face level at the door and say to sis, "Come on out, the turtle's gone." She has learned, as I taught her well, "I AIN'T COMIN' OUT! YOU GOT THAT THING RIGHT AT THE DOOR!" I'm losing it totally and mom is going into mom mode but she's just used to this as this is life with her children! I suppose mom mode doesn't stop just because one is in her late 30's (me) and one is in her 20's (sis).
So finally, mom breaks up the fun and demands I put the turtle outside. I know she is serious as she uses my full name! I slump and do as I am told and take poor fella outside and let it loose under a nice cool out building for safety. I then come in and wash my hands and sis is still locked in the bedroom screaming for mom saying "IS IT REALLY GONE? DID SHE REALLY TAKE IT OUT??" By this point mom is laughing as well and we both assure poor sis she is safe from the running attacking turtle.
I return home, made t-shirts to match with a turtle on it and called it the "SISTER'S TURTLE CLUB" but when I called to tell her I was mailing her a package, but not what was in it, she said "IT BETTER NOT BE ALIVE AND IT BETTER NOT BE A TURTLE!" I told her just to open it quickly, it wouldn't bite, to take good care of it and let her imagination do the rest. (evil grin & laugh)
deleted_user
Cute story FIC. I thought I was the only one doing turtle roadside rescues. Glad to know someone out there in West VA does it, too. I actually at one point kept a small box in the car when I lived in a wooded area b/c I learned (the hard way) that turtles seem to pee in the car. Guess it's a nervous reaction or a really, really big coincidence. And, yes, I've freaked out my car co-pilots, too, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WE'RE GONNA GET KILLED!" And I always said, like you, you know they have basically no chance. Hell, some jerks hit 'em on purpose. One crazy, rainy day I had three in my car at once, and my BF at the time was about to have a heart attack. From one turtle saver to another, well done : )
FIC
Vegan - I about gave hubby a heart attack when we were in the early years of marriage. It was a country road, (is there really any other in WV?) and getting dark when I saw a bunny in the road and I screamed "You're goin to hit it!" because I was afraid he'd hit it. Well, he slammed on the brakes thinking he'd almost hit SOMEONE. He starts "What was it?!" I told him a rabbit and he was NOT a happy camper. ROFLOL He informed me that the next time I scream at the top of my lungs there had better be a D**** person or something cause I could've killed us. ROFLOL Ah, well, I'm sure that bunny has a very large nice family after all these years.
deleted_user
Ha, ha, ha. Yes, I do the same thing. I have developed crazy good vision for animals that it freaks out people, like a sixth sense almost. I'll tell them before they take a turn, slow down, a deer will be there, and they're like...damn. : )
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