Kel,
I have JUST learned how to say no. I am a volunteer EMT and our squad really needs help, but I just can't do it anymore. I used to be able to get up all hours of the night, go on a call and lose 3 hours of sleep. Now it makes me physically sick to do that. I know my community needs me, but so doesn't my family. They need me healthy. It isn't just the lack of sleep, but lately my BP gets very high after a call (even taxi rides!) and I cannot lift.
It is very hard to say no, because everyone knows of you as a "yes" person. But in this fibro journey, we have to take care of ourselves first.

Good luck. Thinking of you!

Just saw this on FB - I think it is appropriate.

Some days are better,
Some days are worse.
Look for the blessing
instead of the curse.
Be positive.
Stay strong
and get enough rest.
You can't do it all,
You can only do your best.

Two things I learned from this post..... There IS the word "No" in the dictionary. I had no idea!!
Secondly, I don't know how to stop being in denial that I have Fibro. Except when my now 'Old" doctor would blame everything wrong with me on Fibromyalgia. Guess it's better than a doctor that doesn't believe at all. Thank God my new doctor does believe in it. Hugs GB

When my husband finally 'got' the fibro/fatigue thing, saying no became much easier because I had 'his' support. Maybe that was the last piece of denial falling away. Wish I could say I didn't need his validation.... But it's still difficult because I want, want, want to do the old things, such as basketball posted about being up all hours.... Hugs and support going through this all x

When you say "yes" to someone/something you are saying "no" to you and your health needs.

Yep. Saying No is .... welll, for such a tiny syllable, it re takes a lot of effort!

I am better atit, but compared only to doormats...

I feel like I'm still learning to say "no." I find it especially tough with work-related things because fibro is one of those invisible illnesses and I am insecure about whether people truly understand. I am much better at keeping my overtime down now than I ever have been though. Progress!

Hey Kel- so you mean to tell me that there is a word with two letters in it that can change my life. CRAZINESS!!!! ok, in all seriousness, I wish I could say no, but then I get hit with the guilt of having to say it. Ya know. It's like scales, is the guilt > or = to the amount of fatigue/pain of just sucking it up and doing it. It's like going flipping calculus.

I have gone back and forth on the subject of pushing myself. It is the hardest process ever. One day i decide I accept how I am, my limits, and then the other days where I'm like f$@# it, I'm going to do everything any ways. I kind of equate it with grief.

1. You deny deny deny. You don't have that that's wrong. You're too young/active, whatever.
2. Anger- wtf, my life has changed in going to be an invalid, all the veal I'm giving up this is BS. WTF WTF WHY?
3. BARGAINING. Ok, so if I do xyz today, I'll be able to huddle up in my bed tomorrow because I don't have anything planned for that day. Or I do x today, sleep some tomorrow. And do u and z some other time. ( the crappy thing is your bargaining with yourself and an invisible intruder) you look nutz sitting there talking back and arguing with no one. Lol
4. Depression, in my humble opinion the one we teeter back and forth with the most. Sad because we've lost that functioning part of us. The life before the dx. The body before FM, the mentality before FM. And the relationship you have with yourself.
5. Acceptance- Shortest before we start all over denying that we have anything wrong and trying to do it all and killing our self in the process.

Thank you everyone for your replies! I find them thoughtful, interesting and most importantly, helpful.

Gentle hugs to you, my fibro friends.

Kel