PegZo,

You have expressed the concern that many of us have regarding our battle with fibro. I am a 63 year old male (strike one for me, since so few of us seem to have it). I have been dealing with it unofficially since 1982 as they misdiagnosed me until 1994. My daily pain started in April of 1987 so I'm in my 30th year of fibro issues & 25th year of daily pain. That's about half of my life - I'm still here but at times I do not know how. Must be a lot tougher than I often give myself credit for.

Was fortunate to be able to work until the end of 2009 but the last 6 years have been very bad for me. Add to the fact that I live by myself & seem to have a chemical sensitivity that makes taking any type of meds impossible. Have to depend on various vitamins & supplements for any relief I may get.

What keeps me going? Much the same as you - my grandkids. My son & his wife were married for over 8 years before she got pregnant so I often thought that I would never have any. Now I have twins - one of each. They are 15 months old & live about 12 miles away so I get to see them about twice a month. Simply put I live to see them these days.

Like you, I always hope to wake up tomorrow & not be in pain. I had an extended period (1999 to 2005) where I was in remission more than I was in a flare so I'm also hoping for another extended period of remission to be forthcoming.

Try also to find a reason to have a good laugh each day. That has been a big help to me.

My best to you....Mike

I have only been able to accept that I have limitations for now, I will not accept this as chronic because even with the kids and grandkids, that would not be enough. I do not call this denile, I call it hope.

It's definitely a tough one! Like you and Mike, I live for my granddaughter and my family. Also, and I probably should have said first, the Lord. He helps me get up each day with hope and strength. My mother, in a nursing home, also depends on me. And I consider it an honor and privilege to minister to her.

I just take it one day at a time. I don't look down the long road, thinking about having pain everyday. I guess I have hope that one day they'll find something that really will help us all, that gets to the root cause of our pain.

My best to you....Elizabeth

I understand! I have been diagnosed for about 15 years and every day I think maybe I will miraculasly get better. But every morning is a disappointment, although I might have gone to bed only an hour before. I don't know what the answer is, but in my case I only do what I enjoy. I try to enjoy every thing I do because I don't have time for anymore miser. This way, even though I hurt, I'm having fun. I do Avon which I love and it gives me a sense of purpose and social activity. Otherwise I would never get out of bed. But my customers come to me, cause I don't deliver. So I don't make as much money cause I give big discounts for that reason, but it works for me. I'm currently trying to get down my pain pill dose, but it's a slow process. You have to take care of yourself first, whatever that means Find a way to love your life, even with pain cause it's too easy to get depressed. Good luck!

For me the answer isn't 'either-or'. We can still miss, even morn the lives we used to have (we all need to do this at times). We also need to be committed to making the most of the capacities we still have and seeing if we can inch ahead a little.

I do not live for family, or others, or even myself. I just live because I am alive. I keep striving because it is my programmed instinctual response. And on days when hope is low, than it is low. But the one thing I've learned to count on is nothing remains static. I have become very experienced at hunkering down and waiting for storms to pass.

Sign me, Not Pollyanna

I just realized my post never went through, grrrrr DS.

I will try again.

I think we all hope the same we will wake up and feel normal or pain free. I dont think we should give up on the that dream, it keeps us going.

I do not think about my pain, if I did I would be depressed and feel more pain. Yes. its there constantly.

Days when I get down, I remind myself that fibro wont kill me. One must find something to smile about everyday, even if its the beauty of nature, the way a small child is in awe about everything new they see or maybe a young couple planning a future or puppy live in their eyes.

There are so many things we must be thankful for each day.

We have a lot to live for, our family, our pets or some stranger we can help.

Dreams that's what life is about, being here for others and helping our chidlren and esp grandchildren learn to live, love and laugh.

I feel as you do. I take it one day at a time. Some days, one minute at a time. I keep hoping that someone will find the magic pill or shot or ???? that will make me not feel pain somewhere on my body each day! I am so glad that I have this forum to come to to not feel so alone!
Hugs and keep on keepin on!

Dearest PegZo,
Fibro & Psoriatic Arthritis hit me in Jan., 2010. I worked full time & was in college going for my BS in NURSING. By May, I had to leave everything behind. No more work, no more school. Of course the news came about slowly & there was hope at first - sure I'll try chemo - I'll try anything to be a specialized NURSE - I saw myself many times living it! I wanted to be a nurse anesthetist & was working at a call center for home medical equipment.
I had anxiety attacks at work, out of the blue - never treated for anxiety EVER!
Ok, so I'm on the pain med, chemo, housebound journey & oh, I forgot, in 2009 I also took a motorcycle safety class - having never driven one & I aced it!!!!!!!
But now there is this life - no nursing - and, not only due to "fog" - no way - I know better - it has to be something more....I have forgotten virtually EVERYTHING I learned in nursing school - and I only had one more year to go. I thought back to the time frame & that's when I stopped kicking my own butt over it. Because of the timing of onset, I would have never even been working as a nurse yet - that is an extremely small consolation. And I was such a fantastic speller - I have had to google words in this post to spell them correctly.
I am now 45, housebound, have minimal, lousy insurance (that I pay the entire premium for monthly,) have less than adequate medical care & have no caregiver...and I need one. I live for my beautiful...(OMG I CAN'T SPELL BEAUTIFUL!!!) 12 year old daughter & my husband & 2 rescue dogs.
Peg, I cannot accept this. I want a motorcycle - that seems like a fair compromise since I can't be a nurse. I don't have the strength to ride one. I have lost 50 pounds sitting on my arse for 2.5 years. My thighs 2 years ago showed muscle tone; they now literally look like the thighs of at least a 70 year old - not kidding. The muscles have shrunk & I don't have the strength or energy to do a damned thing about it right now. But I still can't accept that this is my fate.
I wonder about the damage to my organs & nervous system that taking every type of pain med is doing & how long I'll be around. I think about that last part far too much.
We need so much more & better care for Fibro than we are getting. Please don't give up. I know it's challenging enough to be your own advocate when you're healthy. I still cannot get organized despite buying a daily appt. book that I never write in lol & a file folder that I don't use. I am quickly wearing out my recliner.
You have helped me...I constantly wonder...how can so many others with Fibro, etc. work & function and I can't??!! I NEVER intended for this post to be this long...see, I need support badly! Thank you for posting & touching me - just knowing I'm not alone in this has made my day.