Autumn - Pacing is so important with this illness. You've clearly overextended yourself. It is very hard to manage this illness and daily living too. It's a delicate balance to learn but all of us have had to adapt and respect our limits.

A dust bunny never killed anyone. If housekeeping is more than you can reasonably handle, can you ask for some help? Or, more help with shopping? I have a Costco membership and I know how much walking is involved. I sure would not attempt that and some other shopping the same day. There are times when I have to sit in my car for a bit when I get home before attempting to get out of it or put anything away.

Have you heard of a device called Quell? It is wearable device approved by the FDA for pain. It might be helpful since you are unable to take pain meds. I've had mine for almost 2 years and like it quite a bit. You can find it online. I think Amazon has it. It is not covered by insurance.

Good days are elusive but they do happen. Eating smaller high protein meals more often helps a lot. Rethinking how and when to get stuff done so you don't set off a flare and/or
profound exhaustion is another important piece of the puzzle.

I'd be in a hot bath with some Epsom salts listening to some music to try and relax and get my pain levels under better control. I hope that you can find a way to get comfortable. Hugs!

I'm sorry things are so rough. It does indeed sound to me like you maybe have more going on in your life than your fibro can handle at this point.

The feelings of grief are very normal to go through. Allow yourself to feel that sadness, and the anger when you have to concede things to this disease. I went through a long hospital program endeavouring to give chronic pain patients different, non-narcotic tools to manage their conditions. Part of this was Mindfulness training, and I also get a lot of use out of CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy. It's common for people to reach out to therapists or whatnot while dealing with the many emotions of their diagnosis.

If I look at my fibro factually, I know that there is - by "normal" standards - very little I can do in a day. Prolonged pushing of doing physical things leads to a backlash that can last months and months. And when I say backlash, I mean having the energy to leave the house maybe once a week for a 20 minute grocery run - and only because I ab-so-lute-ly have to. My body won't even feel up to that. If I keep resting and resting and resting (sometimes for months) then suddenly my energy levels go up again. Suddenly it's not hard to leave several times a week. I'll do things because I want them done, rather than doing it because of the self-loathing I feel when neglecting duties.

I go through this cycle quite a bit - overdoing it for weeks/months and then crashing for months. I should know better by now, but while my logic has it sussed out, my emotions and grief for a normal life haven't. My logic starts to lose out to the desire to improve in my good periods. A hard-to-kill wish that if I just keep upping my amount of physical exercise, my body will surely get better and stronger! Well, no. Not in the impatient, blinkered way I go about it. I have to conform to my fibro, and I find it almost too frustrating to accept that I can't beat my fibro into submission through sheer tenacity.

When I was I was fighting to lose a lot of weight, listening to tenacity over my body's impulses was the key to success. When fighting depression and my other mental problems, listening to tenacity over my mental impulses was the key to success. The key to success for fibro is learning to listen to the fibro, even though it is a much-hated enemy in your body.

What do I do when the pain gets too bad? Pace, because I can't stand the feeling of sitting or laying down in so much pain. Contort my body in any position it might feel like, since that sometimes relieves small discomforts as things are stretched that I don't often stretch. A hot shower - since we lack a bathtub. And loads, loads of distraction. Funny, light-hearted things, but I also like watching horror movies in those moods, since they tend to strongly attempt to pull the viewer into the tense situations. Video games. Generally anything that gets me out of my head and makes me stop obsessing about how poorly I feel in that moment, because letting those thoughts run free makes everything so much worse for me.

And don't label yourself a downer when talking about such things. If it helped any to type out those words; great! This forum for chronic pain patients doesn't demand you only post things filled with optimism about your life-altering disease, luckily. :) Venting is good, so feel free. I hope you managed to sleep some, and take care!

We all have days when that cup ain't looking half-full or half-empty, just busted. Vent on!

Hello fellow dog person! So, as others have said, pacing is important. But here are other things that help. First see if you can get some groceries delivered directly to you, I used this for my dog food, flea protection and other monthly supplies on a monthly subscription service. They are available through many online retailers, Amazon among them. It saves from having to run out to buy the little things. My spouse is now helping more with the shopping, so we don't do this now, but it was helpful for a while.Also I try to limit my big box trips to one a month because it's so exhausting. And dont try to do both in one day (distance may be a factor for you, not sure). I try to do a load of laundry a day, instead of having a laundry day. I presort as we generate the laundry and when the bin is full it gets done. (One bin equals one load; but this may depend if you have your own machines or use a laundromat,) I made sure we have enough clothes to do this. And I try not to do errands and vaccum in the same day. This frees up more time for dog playing! And one more thing that is helpful, I shop at a small independent grocery store. The store is physically small but has a nice selection of items, friendly staff, and good sales. Plus their store brand is yummy, so I save money using that. I find it a far less exhausting experience. Hope these help!

Thank each of you for the good advice. I have had fibro/rheumatoid for many years and it is sometimes easy to forget the tools that I have used in the past. I use a tens device to help slow and confuse the nerve messages when I am feeling bad. I have always been a person who because I hate crowds have tried to do my running all at once. I know that it is going to hurt but I hate having to run out so often. I like the idea of having groceries delivered to my home. I will check in to some of them and see if doing that helps. I guess it is time to have my partner start helping with the Costco runs or doing it for me when things are rough. And my dog was a great comfort to me yesterday. She seems to understand and cuddles gently when I am in so much pain. ]
I am so glad that I stumbled onto this group. You have helped me more than you will ever know. I feel blessed.

sorry I'm just seeing this, I've had a flare recently and my finger tips hurts so bad- felt like they had the skin burned off of them so I haven't wanted to type... but don't get down on yourself.. I know from my own experience it's better when the house looks good and is clean- but today, my standards of clean aren't what they use to be but I do pace myself... I have made a list of things that needs to be done and prioritize it, I may do one task and rest before doing the next. But the person I use to be is still inside wanting to get out and do the things she use too but I am that person and I'm learning new things, like my water exercise classes-they make me feel so much better but some days I don't have the energy to drive there so I miss them. hang in there and know you're not alone... I listen to soothing music and burn candles, I soak in epsom salt baths, and I hold onto some of my favorite scriptures(like Isaiah 41:10, Philippians 4:13).. what are some of the things you do to sooth your flare days?

Thank you all for the loving answers. Fibrowarrior I use a heating pad, soak in the tub when my partner is home and can help me get out of the tub. I chant and listen to music while burning candles. I also take short walks, read, and watch tv to get my mind off of it. I try to space what I have to do out in my day and if it doesn't get done I just do it the next day if possible. I have OCD and have had a major battle learning that a little dust or a floor that needs mopped isn't the end of the world. I agree that the person I "used to be" rears her ugly head at times telling me to suck it up. On those occasions I focus on self care and giving myself permission to ignore that little voice in my head that thinks I should do more. Again thank you all for your words.

Aloha, my fellow fibro friend. I second the comment about pacing yourself and looking up help for those extra painful tasks (shopping and cleaning, etc). One of the things that drive my pain way up in no time at all is shopping. But one thing I do to help curb that sky high pain (besides spacing them out and doing less, for example Costco one day and walmart another day) is using the their electric carts. Have you tried that? It's a huge help for me, especially in places like Costco and Walmart, where you have to navigate a large area. Definitely too much for my feet, hips and back to handle. Even better if you have a friend with you who can take a cart and grab items off the shelves. I hope this tip helps you.

When the pain gets that bad, just focus on self care and not your to-do list.

I'm reading a PTSD book right now and it tells you to sit down with a family member or spouse and make a list of resources (people you can depend on) during "emergencies" (when you're flaring). People who you can:
-To discuss a personal problem or fear
-When you need a hug or shoulder to cry on
-For child care
-Help with chores
-For healthcare advice for you / your children
-For healthcare emergencies
-For financial / legal help
-Automobile advice / help
-Household maintenance / help
-Who could pick up your kids / babysit, etc
-Spiritual advice / counseling
-Who would go for a walk with you / exercise
-Social interaction with you / kids
-For laughter or consolation when you're down in the dumps (who you can talk to that most relates to your situation)
-Who would bring you a meal(s)
-And whatever else you'd like to add to the list.

Take care and I hope with some rest your pain will calm down.

It's easy to get down when you just long to be like a normal person.... but when are we ever normal, I long for less pain and rest... I had the worst flare ever these past 2 1/2 years or so... looking back seems there were some clues to a flare coming and I ignored them for I hadn't been in one for so long... then bam I crashed! My bones hurt to touch one another... so can't sleep, hubs rolls over in bed I wake up as it sends pain through my body... nobody without chronic pain understands how we can feel... but honestly PACE grocery shopping for me looks like this... list on app on phone (otherwise I'll forget it), if start getting tired before done stop where I am and look at list and decide what can't wait and get those items and of course what is already in my cart... go to checkout line that isn't long but there is a wait, in that wait I rest and talk with the other customers takes mind off pain... I let the bagger take out my groceries! (Love the new grocery services some offer order online and just go pick up),, asking all cold stuff be put together and placed inside my cooler or inside my car when I get home I bring in cold stuff and put it away... sit rest with a cup of water and if I have renewed energy I bring in the rest of the groceries... my house isn't clean by my standards but I do what I can and know that it is enough. Best thing I have found is Epsom salt, a bath as hot as I can stand with candles lit, I relax- soothing music... let water go cool and get out not rinsing off. I've also joined a gym that offers Water exercises- oh my the difference it makes!!! Keeping a positive attitude is very hard at times but I've learned that sometimes I have to encourage myself because nobody else does... so glad you're here and posting, it's always good to know we're not alone.... I believe God has a special place for us fibro warriors... I remind myself everyday of these three verses
Philippine 4:13; Isaiah 41:10 and 2 Corinthians 1:4.... I've started writing a blog diary of my own journey and found it helps... hang in there and know I'm saying a prayer for you...