Wow, I am not sure what to say. I wish you lived near a university medical center so perhaps you could get a comprehensive workup for all that's going on. Are the panic attacks due to the stress of trying to work?

If so, going on state disability may be necessary.
Sounds like you need new doctors, really good ones. And meds for your panic disorder. That would be my take on this, as an RN, but I don't know your medical background.

It sounds like something's gotta give here. I hope you will feel better soon.

First off? Find therapy for the panic, tell your doc how bad it is, get meds if you can, b//c I have PTSD and can tell you I wll, in a panic attack, forget EVERYTHING that happened. I could walk into traffic. It's not good. So I hear and feel you there. I have had days I ust curl up in bed and hide and cry and beg my hubby not to leave me for being a head case.
Second? Get a second neuro opinion or ask the neuro for affordable options for treatment. Better docs, different docs, any new opinions, anything to start getting progress on helping your symptoms be controlled.
Third? Hate to say it, but if you're under that much stress, and walk that poorly? Time to think about disability. It sucks, it's miserable, but if you have something going on that makes it this hard on you to work and live? It's got to be considered for YOUR sake. FOrget what other people think of it. They're not in the tornado you're in.
Fourth? Go back to that second option. The docs have *got* to hvae better than "severe neuro issues".... Like what? Ask them to put a name on it, so if it isn't all fibro, you know and can get it treated.
Fifth? Keep coming here, spout as much as you need, you never know what idea someone'll have that you might share with a doc and poof! A light bulb goes off.

Finally, just take deep breaths, know we're here for you, and we'll keep good thoughts for you:-) We've all hit horribly bad places, sometimes takes a long time to get back out (oy, does it), but we're *here*. You're not alone.

Smiles,
Leo

Once I was pretty sure I was going to be fired for my health problems, so I had a doctor write a letter saying I needed to go on temporary disability. It was pretty much a pre-emptive act, which did save my job--although I went back to a different job that was less stressful. In a letter to them I mentioned the disability law. Another thing is do you have a psychiatrist. If you are having panic attacks, it may be time to get something to help with that. Or your PCP may be able to give you something.

This is a weird temporary suggestion, but I have been diagnosed and un-diagnosed for MS, too. Look up Hughes disease or anti-phospholipid syndrome. I haven't been diagnosed with this but in one situation when I had actual seizures, (they didn't test me for APS) I was given heperin and got very quickly better. I mentioned this to my neurologist and I think he thought I was nuts to think this, but he said well take aspirin. I expect he didn't think it would do a thing, but I'd been having neuropathy in my arms which has become so much better by just taking an aspirin a day. Also, I think my brain fog has improved somewhat. (My old rheumy had suggested the same thing for migraines years ago but I didn't do it.)

When I was researching this I found that one rheumy told his patient he thought that a lot of people with fibro might really have this. Anyway, it was only a week or so to really feel the difference. Migraines are a symptom of this syndrome, too.

I don't know if this helps, be even these situations of maximum stress are temporary. Keep trying to find good docs.

I hope things improve for you soon.

Gentle hugs to you. You are not alone. I am in the process of trying to get short term disability approved so I didn't loose my job even though I am almost certain there will not be a job for me to go back to if I ever get better. Feel free to check out my journals just so you know you are not alone. Post here as often as necessary. This group is awesome & part of what gets me through the day. Btw....I'm 31 & recently told a nurse not to be fooled by the age on my chart because apparently she thought I was taking too long to stand up & walk.

I am not sure what type of treatment plan you are on, and I can't understand why you would have to keep returning to a rheumatologist unless you are titrating a drug or something. What neurological problems is the neurologist suspecting? Is this related to FMS or MPS?

My advice? I would do some searching for another doctor that is experienced in treating FMS/MPS. You have to try and be strong--it is difficult to have to deal with so much on your plate and it sounds like you are in need of some support. Fog and fatigue are symptoms difficult to deal with, but they are what they are. Adding stress to the mix doesn't help one single bit. There are jobs that may not be best suited for people with our condition, especially if they are high stress, require a lot of accurancy/mental acuity, repetitive or require heavy lifting, but that does not mean we are unable to work. Some employers are willing to work with employees, and there is some protection under the ADA. Have you ever thought about what could make your job easier for you? Is it possible to have your workload reduced, your hours reduced or made flexible--maybe allow an extra rest period? Allow you get up and walk around several times a day? We often have to advocate for ourselves, unfortunately. I don't know what your work situation is, if they would be willing to work with you or even transfer you to another position.

I don't know how much you have learned about FMS/MPS, but it is really helpful to have a good understanding. Get a good book--one that is well -referenced. I wish you the best with your struggles, I do understand how difficult it can be. I think it is a battle you must fight--even SSI isn't an easy road. Somehow we begin to get stronger and more self-confident through this process even though our bodies feel like they're falling apart. You can get through this!

Thanks for the heaps of advice everyone. I am currently not on any medication -- except for a couple of daily Flintstone vitamins. I have reacted very very badly to all of the meds used to help in this disease.

I have seen no less than 3 rheumys and 5 neurologists, including being under the care of two separate world renowned Neurology Centers for at least a year each. This means I have been through the medication protocol at least 5 times. Suffice to say, if you have taken a med on 5 different occasions and had the same reaction, one would think that you can't take that med. But these docs do not believe me.

The main problem that I see here is that NO ONE can agree what is going on. The only rheumy who said it was Fibro was the one I was seeing. The Neruologists all think it is MS or ALS, although it has gone on so long that I was told if it were ALS I would already be much worse! (Is that supposed to make me feel better?)

I have literally had so many medical tests that my insurance refuses to pay for another test. They contend they have paid for 2-3 rounds of the same test, which is way more than what is required for a diagnosis. The problem is that every time I have the evoked potentials they get completely different results. I have been told by one doc that my MRI is clean, but the last neurologist told me they never did an MRI of the thoracic area where I have the most pain. Blood work does the same thing, one time I look borderline diabetic and borderline RA, another time they tell me that my Sodium count is way too high.

Because I am in the Mid-Atlantic area, I tried to get into Johns' Hopkins. They refused to take my case.

I am on my 3rd GP. The first would only tell me I was depressed. The second ran a bunch of test and wanted to fill out disability paperwork, but could not without a diagnosis. I was at my 3rd GP the other day for a skin issue. Literally not in the office for 5 minutes before she told me it was Exema. Then she says, "You're 37 years old, surely you KNOW what this is??" I responded with, "NO, I have never broken out in bloody hives over my entire body for weeks at a time. If I KNEW what it was, I would not have bothered coming in." She then tells me the treatment is to use petroleum jelly on it. No thanks, I will use shea butter instead. She never took my BP, weighed me, or listened to my heart. In fact, I have not been weighed by any doctor that I see in over 3 years. Couldn't tell you the last time they took a BP either. Tried to talk to her about the panic attacks, etc and she literally held her hand up and said, "I agreed to see you about the skin issue ONLY." Seriously? WTH!

Today I had to call out of work. The "bathroom issue" I have been having for a week and half finally took over. I have to run on an hourly basis back and forth, and am in so much pain I cry out at times. This has been since Saturday night. Did not think that would go over well at the office.

Although AnnNY I did stumble on to something similar to your asprin suggestion all on my own, as I found that drinking massive amounts of caffeine makes me feel a lot better. Asprin also helps when things are really bad.

Again, I'm sorry for what you have been going through. When I was in the hospital with a seizure they acted as if I had hysteria. They somehow blew off the EEG which showed seizures. A day ago I went to a rheumatologist who at first told me my fog was from being old and my achy joints were from being fat. I brought her a mass of records, so she changed her opinion to "likely some autoimmune process." I told her about how much better I was after heperin and now that I'm taking aspirin. She told me it was impossible. So I've just decided I don't care if they call it "booga booga," the aspirin is helping. I had twisted my neurologist arm to give me Low Dose Naltraxone and that is helping, the rheumy is giving me plaquinil which has helped me in the past. I'm not really angry at the rheumy, I think she had to think it out a bit. She did listen to an awfully long story much more patiently that anyone has in quite a long time.

Here's a website about the brain effects of Hughes disease:

http://www.hughes-syndrome.org/about-hughes-syndrome/brain.php#.UriHLfbTHgo

I'm not saying you have it. Apparently, it's impossible for me to have. But I am continuing to take one aspirin at dinner. You have to take it every day, but you only take one. I think it has helped me to do a lot of research and make my own suggestions, but sometimes it does drive the docs crazy. Sorry to go on about my own thing, but I'm hoping it offers a bit of help.