Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
You know how they say that depression is a symptom of Fibro? Well of course it is. Suddenly life is nothing but a series of noes. All the activities I would like to do? NO. When I try to do much of anything I end up in pain and in bed all day the next day. Things I would like to buy? No. I can't work therefore we don't have a lot of money. Things I would like to eat? No. No sugar, no carbs, no salt, no caffeine and now no diet soda, either. Okay I can actually live with the above list of noes as long as I can do the thing I have always loved the most: Read and write stories. NO. On many days I am so fuzzy-minded that I cannot stick with a book and I certainly cannot find the words to write a story myself.
So what's left? I love my partner but I feel like I am nothing but a burden to her. She deserves better than what I have left to give.
I know this all sounds self pitying. Ugh, I never wanted to be a person like this, going on blah blah blah about my problems. But this stupid syndrome is so discouraging. I try to be positive but, some days, I don't have it in me to pep talk myself anymore. Do you know what I mean?
My Mom had MS for the last several years of her life and was even more limited than I am. I was sympathetic but I certainly didn't understand what it was like for her to be in pain day and night, to be limited all the time. She had it worse than me. Boy, would I give anything to apologize to her for not being more understanding. She was really brave.
Anyway, gosh, I guess I just needed to vent a little bit where people would understand. This stuff is really hard, isn't it. Thanks for "listening" folks.
So what's left? I love my partner but I feel like I am nothing but a burden to her. She deserves better than what I have left to give.
I know this all sounds self pitying. Ugh, I never wanted to be a person like this, going on blah blah blah about my problems. But this stupid syndrome is so discouraging. I try to be positive but, some days, I don't have it in me to pep talk myself anymore. Do you know what I mean?
My Mom had MS for the last several years of her life and was even more limited than I am. I was sympathetic but I certainly didn't understand what it was like for her to be in pain day and night, to be limited all the time. She had it worse than me. Boy, would I give anything to apologize to her for not being more understanding. She was really brave.
Anyway, gosh, I guess I just needed to vent a little bit where people would understand. This stuff is really hard, isn't it. Thanks for "listening" folks.
I'm sorry for you, and with you ; (
Hugs
Soft hugs to you.
im so with you on al you wrote about..f.m. does take so much from us..i dont work due to it.i have 2 smallkids that dont get but 10 bucks a month for allowance..as for your mate,she loves YOU..no matter what you can n cant do...she's still with you,right?...my ex left me after 16 yrs of him putting up w-me..im also bi-polar,that made me a basket case....my mom also had f.m. r.a. and m.s.......she was bed ridden last 10 yrs till she died....she couldnt sit up,turn over,nothing,i cared for her a month right before she died..it was amazing to see her accept her life and to praise God.,i,dont beat yourself up over it,you cant let that eat at you,im sure she knew you loved her,rite?i a sister who feels like you about not being close to mom before she died,or understandin,i tell her,its ok...no need in dwelling on something you cant change..im not bed ridden but my illness does knock me to my knees at times..i look at it like this....i could be worse.....i could be where i cant walk,or get out of bed,.....we just have to everyday look at the positives in our lifes,i made a list and posted it on my profile,just ten things,then when i feel down,i go read them,it puts me back on track..im here if you need a listening ear...venting is a good thing,we all need to do it at sometimes...and it doesnt mean we are self pity people,its normal....hugs!!!!!
amy
I think, I understand what you are feeling about understanding your Mom. I am very sorry for your loss. My Mom, even though never diagnosed, I'm sure has fibro. She is in Poland, a doc hinted to her that it's probably this, but said there's nothing to be done to help it. Anyway, ever since I can remember, she was always in bed, with a cold wash cloth or a scarf tied around her head. She was always exhausted, in pain, barely walking at times. She was raising 5 kids, then, when I was in school, she also worked. Even though, she always did everything, I resented her at times, and couldn't believe someone could be so ill, without having anything wrong with them. My father was not a nice person, he abused her badly, and always ridiculed her for being sick "in her head" I was a sickly kid, and wanted her to pamper me, which she did, but still she was sick. She also always sent me to get her "headache medicine" and I hated that.
Anyway, my mom is still living, so I had a chance to tell her how much I appreciate her, and how I understand what she's been going through and how sorry I am for not being nice about her illness. I don't tell her everything about me because I know she would freak even more than she already has. I'm 36, will be 37 in a few days, but I am and always will be her baby and she worries about me.
As for the "noes," I totally agree with you. I work, but I can't afford to pay all my bills, let alone buy anything because I can't work as much as I used to and being single on $600 every two weeks, it's hard to make the ends meet. Actually, it's impossible at the moment. I know others have it worse, but still.
I also love to read, and I also used to write. Now, I have to reread things a few times to fully understand them, if I'm foggy, and I can barely write simple sentences. I look at some stuff I had written in the past and it makes me cry sometimes because it's hard to believe I used to be able to put that stuff together. So, I understand how you feel.
Of course, I don't know the situation between your partner and you, but if she is still around, I would assume she wants to be and doesn't feel like you're a burden to her. Just because you are struggling with this fibro crap, doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved and be happy.
I lost some of my friends due to fibro, 3 friends with whom I used to hang out or at least speak on the phone everyday, are gone, two just sort of faded away, the 3rd one, I asked not to call me anymore if she was gonna torture and insult me about having fibro and cause me stress. Well, we haven't spoken in almost 4 months. Yesterday, I drove past her while she was at an ATM, it made me so sad, I'm getting teary eyed now because we were friends for almost 10 yrs. Some of my other friends, whom I love very much, I isolated myself from. I just don't want them to see me like this, so I text or e-mail instead of calling because I don't wan't to brake down crying. I say no to all invites, I even lie and say I have to work because I don't want to tell them I'm sick.
Oh, well, see, I turned your post into my post, so you don't have to feel bad about complaining and self-pitying. LOL
I tell you, I can go on for ever, lucky for you, my shoulders and arms/hands hurt really bad so I'm gonna stop. I hope someday, when the fog and the pain dissapear, Lord willing, I will write a book. Will it get published, probably not, even though that's been my lifelong dream to be a published author, not that I wanted to have fibro so I can write a book.
OK, I will stop now.
I'm sorry for such a long reply. If you ever feel like venting and don't wanna do it on the main board, please, feel free to write me. I love to read and talk to people.
Sending hugs and love to all.
ja36, I too have lost many friends to this . Many people do not understand I've found that I cannot just get up and go on the drop of a hat like I use to. Not to mention the fact that its hard enough to keep up converstaion or even want to talk.Heck, sometimes, I even have a hard time keeping up with these threads because I feel like my brain is taking in information on one side and dumping it out on the other.
I too am so glad I found this group...even though I dont feel like talking everyday or I tend to isolate myself, it's nice to know I can pop in and chat with you all and not feel so alone. Hugs