Fibromyalgia Support Group

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Sick of Limits

jrk1288
jrk1288
Here comes a long, venty rant...I'm having a lot of trouble (this week, especially) getting through all the things I have to do-work, appointments, exercise, cooking, grocery shopping, etc....Yesterday I walked (very slowly) into work and people honestly thought I caught someone's stomach flu because I looked that bad. It was actually a flare following a huge fight with my boyfriend on Monday, an 11-hour shift on Tuesday, and the gym and some cleaning/errands on Wednesday...I was up most of the night (even though I was so exhausted that I went to bed at 8:30), couldn't get comfortable or get my GI tract to stop yelling at me, and couldn't even have coffee in the morning because of the GI symptoms. I have no idea what to do with myself...I don't feel like there's anything I can stop doing. I have to work to support myself and my boyfriend, cutting hours is not an option, and I don't want to waste my entire college education on 3 years of working since I graduated. I need to go to the gym to control my anxiety (as it is I'm barely doing enough to keep me from having a breakdown at the drop of a hat), and I also need it to keep my knees functional-when I stop exercising for a while I can't kneel down even briefly without pain and I can't straighten my legs when I get up. I'm also told exercise helps with fibro pain in the long term. Grocery shopping, cooking etc. need to be done-I can't live on processed food like my boyfriend can (thanks to food intolerances) so I'm the only one motivated to cook. A lot of people I know don't really understand why I don't want to go out and do things often, or that I'm literally about to pass out by 8:30. I'm hoping if I just push through it for a little longer the Amitriptyline might start to kick in, but at the same time I'm not expecting it. I just wish there was a way to control one thing without making another worse...it would be nice to be able to do something that's good for my body and not have it make me physically sick...
Shakota6
Shakota6
If it all feels like too much, it is.

Perhaps there are some ways you can cut back on almost each activity because it sounds to me like you have to.

Exercise for fibro can be very modest....can you put off or space out some things you have to do....?

Hope you get some relief soon. Hang in there.
MAGICpill
MAGICpill
Sounds like it's time for your boyfriend to become a man and a true lover. Maybe it's time for him to cook,clean, grocery shop and support himself .

You are on overload and he needs to step up and help.

Maybe stretching and walking will not be so hard on your body.

Put yourself first.
happyface01
happyface01
I agree with the others. If you are feeling overwhelmed it is time to cut back on something. That may help your anxiety as well. Exercise may be good for anxiety but so is rest. If you have Fibromyalgia, you are ill and need to work around it. Pacing is supposed to be everything. Is there a good reason that your BF doesn't work? If he is a capable adult then he should be pitching in.
jrk1288
jrk1288
My boyfriend is in school full time and works part time...he's not home much and right now I'm covering all our mutual bills because he doesn't make enough-hopefully when he graduates in a few months this will change. He will clean if I specifically ask him to, but I feel bad asking him to do everything, he's got a lot on his plate right now too. I have trouble spacing things out because I usually only go shopping, go to the gym, etc. on the days where I don't work (on the days I work I don't have the energy for anything else). Walking isn't hard on my body, but it doesn't help much with my emotions either, I need to push myself a little harder to get that "runner's high" feeling so I usually jog a couple miles.
happyface01
happyface01
Okay well that is a different story. I thought that he was just sitting at home while you worked. Yikes! Hopefully, like you said in a couple of months he will have regular work so you won't have that weight in your shoulders. As far as exercising, did your doctor say anything about your regime? If running feels good to you, then I guess I would keep doing it as long as it doesn't cause any damage. I don't know if I could run if my life depended on it I am so out of shape now so I am envious. It's good that you only do it in your days off. I thought you were doing it after you worked all day. It sounds like you are pacing yourself as much as possible right now. I know they say that pacing is key but we all have different commitments and we have to be realistic. Some of us still have to work, we have family members that rely on us etc.. Do you see a specialist? Have you discusses your concerns with the Dr?
happyface01
happyface01
Oh and about the passing out by 8:30, I am the same way. I usually lay down right after dinner for the evening. For my stomach I take Zantac. It lasts 12 hours and it really helps with heartburn and stomach upset.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Amitriptyline has helped me a good bit with pain and sleep, wishing you the best!

It is so hard to push through each day. I always do the bare minimum it feels like. I hope you can rest and heal your GI issues soon, I other issues with fibro is insane. ((hugs))
jrk1288
jrk1288
My doctor didn't say anything about the specifics of my exercise regimen, just to keep exercising. I'm jogging 3 miles once-twice weekly, using the exercise bike for 30 minutes once a week some weeks, and doing yoga once weekly. Running is what I enjoy doing, I've been doing it for a while (just much more than I am now) and at one point I thought I'd run a marathon before I turn 30-obviously that's not gonna happen...as awful as it makes me feel I don't think it's causing permanent damage. The next day my pain and GI issues are always worse. For whatever reason, Zantac makes my GI upset worse, as does Prilosec-they put me on those when my gluten intolerance was still undiagnosed and they thought I had an ulcer or acid reflux. Pepto helps a little bit though, so I literally carry it everywhere, but I think this is the best my GI issues are ever going to get. I'm not working with a specialist right now even though I've seen several, but I have an appointment in June with a neurologist, so maybe they can help me with some of this.
LynnJ55
LynnJ55
Wow, you have a lot going on, and all that stress of having to do it all is no doubt making your stomach issues much worse. Can you (temporarily) ease off a little of the running and add an extra yoga class or two? You don't say what kind of yoga you're doing, but if you can work in a restorative yoga session with a good teacher, it would help you unwind and de-stress. Or just a gentle yoga stretching session.

Don't feel bad asking your boyfriend for help with the cleaning. He sounds healthier than you are right now and he may just think you are superwoman for doing it all unless you tell him otherwise. I have to specifically ask my husband to help because if I don't, he thinks I'm just fine, which I am definitely NOT. Maybe if your BF sees that you are happier and healthier when he helps carry the load he will be more likely to try to make your life easier.
happyface01
happyface01
The cleaning issue may just be a "guy" thing. I don't think they particularly enjoy cleaning (from what I have observed from father, brother, husband and father in-law) and they definitely are not mind readers. I think we can all attest to that lol. I always assumed that my husband thought it was my job to do all the cleaning. In the past while if I ask him to do something he is more than willing, but as we both don't really care for it he has suggested that I hire someone. Unfortunately, I am on of those people who would clean for the cleaning lady because I can't stand anyone seeing my house dirty. This is an issue I might have to get past and swallow my pride.
jrk1288
jrk1288
Yeah...I think guys just don't think about cleaning or notice when something is dirty. I can point out the cat hair tumbleweeds everywhere or the layer of crumbs on the stove, and he's like "really?". The only yoga classes I can consistently make are on Sundays, but it honestly makes me feel almost as bad as running-it's much harder than it looks (more pilates moves than gentle yoga). I only started going to help with stress...I've got all that going on and my job is stressing me out like crazy because there's a lot of drama, double standards, etc. I can get some support from my bf but he's getting sick of hearing me bitch about my job/fatigue/pain over and over...
Maika
Maika
preaching to the choir....I can't agree with you more...
we are told to pace ourselves and take it easy
exercise and do physio to maintain ourselves
and some how these two concepts are supposed to work in to an average life.
mission impossible...best just to take one day at a time
happyface01
happyface01
Exactly! Between work, appointments and family commitments it's like I have a choice...fit in some much needed rest or go to an exercise class. I keep choosing rest unfortunately :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
sheesh give yourself a break...you are taking on waaayyyyy tooooo much!!!! Your boyfriend needs to help some (I worked went to college and raised a small boy-by myself--he can help you) ...sorry if i sound
harsh....