We humans need / require other humans to interact with. Very rarely can anyone live a happy life secluded. We often endure pain (physical or emotional) just to have some kind of human contact with someone else.

Yet, it's also a scary move. As we are all so very different from one another.
At times, when those personalities blend, you see a relationship similar to family form.
Other times, you see it self destruct right before your eyes.

And when I think of this subject, I think of people who turn to artificial intelligence for 'interaction'. (scene from Big Bang Theory where Raj falls in love with his phone's Siri - or the newest movie "Her"). But they come crashing down harder when they realize that conversation is only with themselves.

If this one specific group is challenging to deal with, I can only suggest to move forward to another one. Walk away knowing that you now know what you "won't" put up with.

My other suggestion would be to go for that pure unconditional love from a pet. And if you can't get a pet, what about donating your time to help pets in need? Even if it's feeding the birds outside your window?

And as always, you can come here.

Pain and stress short-circuit our filters for what's okay and what's not. We can be too sensitive to what others say and not sensitive enough to what we're doing.... runs the gamut. I knwo if I'm in a bad stretch? I can go teary-eyed over something I see in an e-mail from a close friend I've known 20 years!

Take deep breaths, pace out how much you tell of yourself, and why not just ask 'em what they meant? It's a foreign language discussion group, right? Well, you're discussing language. Sometimes people don't even realize that they'e misusing a term. (My ditzoid SIL will NEVER stop using appraise for appreciate. OMG. Drives me nuts. And English is her first language!)

Mind you, I was an editor in a past life, so I asked that stuff for a living. If you're shy of it, just say, "I'm not sure I know what you meant there," and let it slide. Might be surprised how clueless people can be about how they come off.

Hugs and smiles,
Leo

I can relate, I am a text book introvert and became more introverted after fibro with less interactions with others. Some of us are more sensitive to others comments, other people its like water off a ducks back, guess its a personality trait?

Hey, thanks for your comments. My kitty is a big help.

I want to have some persistence in spite of my feelings. Maybe I'll give it another try or 2-3.

Maybe because I don't HAVE to be in the group (ie I'm not in school) I easily find a reason NOT to go. Or maybe I'm just trying to interact with a person who doesn't appreciate my style or something.

I know that in some groups, there are ppl on the net that just like to be rude and act big and bold behind an avatar.

I have been really burned, so I know where you are coming from. We just have to be ourselves and watch out for some types. )

I agree with Leo, too... I have asked ppl before WHAT they mean and they will usually be quite.

If this is an on-line group... it is very easy to misinterpret what someone says. We are so used to listening to the emotional elements in ones voice, or watching their facial expression.

If this is a face-to-face group... I know I have become much more sensitive - no that's not the right word - critical of what people say. Maybe I've just had so many negative comments from people that I just expect everyone to treat me that way. Except on DS, everyone here is so great, of course they understand where I'm coming from.

I was in a university run research study the focus of which was stress and coping. One of the things that they said was that when people are depressed and or in pain, we have a "negative set." That is, things that happen are more likely to be interpreted as negative than interpreted as neutral or positive. Sort of like wearing dark glasses. We did some exercises to rephrase or reframe experiences in a more positive light.

Hope this helps.

Oh, and I didn't mean to put it all on you. Of course that people can be rude or nasty, but my experience is that it is because of something that is happening in their lives. After all, for all of us, doesn't the world revolve around ME? :)

Thanks....I know I am overly sensitive...maybe because I am not working anymore but fibro is the reason I'm not working.

It may be best to be quiet in my face to face group for awhile and just observe (to see if the person in question treats others similarly).
And I may go intermittently.
It could be an adjustment period where the person gets used to me and vice versa.
Again, thanks.....I think everything is magnified for me with fibro because my life is reduced (yeah) and I'm on edge a bit and wish only to be treated with kindness (alas). I shall try harder to treat everyone else with kindness as well.

(((HUGZ))). Shakota

I hope you can feel the rental caring that we all want to send to you.
Sometimes when I am hurting I can use the wrong words, hell mist of the time I cant even remember the words. LOL

Emily, your test results makes a lot of sense!!

That is so thoughtful, good approach, Shakota. Good luck.