Fibromyalgia Support Group
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Early last June I posted that I was taking care of my Grandma while she was having some procedures done on her back. The procedures didn't work and she was still in a lot of pain. Also found out that she had multiple tumors on her spine. She broke a rib in early May and they found that the cancer had spread to her ribs. When we got back to my moms house I tired to take care of her but it got to be too much.
Grandma and I talked about it and we agreed that she needed to go into a nursing home. So I got her settled and came back to Seattle for doc appointments but got a call to come back to North Dakota after two weeks. My mom couldn't handle all the stress. Grandma went into the hospital the second week of July. They thought she had a bowel obstruction but found that it was more cancer. In three months she had gone from a vibrant 91 year old to a woman that had to be on a morphine drip. I sat by her bedside at the hospital and watched her wither. I was the only one that she would let touch her. Hospice finally took over and let me take care of her. I learned how to give shots and change IV bags. Grandma finally went into a coma the middle of August. She would wake and be coherent for short periods of time but she was in so much pain. She finally passed away on August 27 at 2:20 in the morning. I was there by her bedside with my mom, she woke up looked at us and we told her it was ok to go. She went back to sleep and took 4 breaths made a sound took two more breaths and then she was gone. My beautiful butterfly grandmother was gone.
So now I am home and trying to work through the grief. My wonderfull husband said to take my time, grieve as much and as long as I needed to. All of the nights sleeping in a chair, and taking care of my grandma and my mom have taken a physical toll on me too. I went to my doc when I got back and she took one look at me and said we are back not to square one but to negative 5. Pain is terrible, I need the hugs but it hurts. I can't sleep in my bed have migrated to the couch. My hubby can't sleep in the bed if I am not there so he joined me on the couch. We have a big sectional so we both fit. I am seeing a Rhumy next week, cause my PC doc said I am too far gone for her care. Also have a appointment with a gyno to get the refferal for the Hysto. So I totter along and try and not cry every day. (Doc upped my Prozac too) But winter is coming and I really don't want to start it off like this.
Sorry this is so long, trying to talk a bit too to see if it helps. I have missed all of you here.
Grandma and I talked about it and we agreed that she needed to go into a nursing home. So I got her settled and came back to Seattle for doc appointments but got a call to come back to North Dakota after two weeks. My mom couldn't handle all the stress. Grandma went into the hospital the second week of July. They thought she had a bowel obstruction but found that it was more cancer. In three months she had gone from a vibrant 91 year old to a woman that had to be on a morphine drip. I sat by her bedside at the hospital and watched her wither. I was the only one that she would let touch her. Hospice finally took over and let me take care of her. I learned how to give shots and change IV bags. Grandma finally went into a coma the middle of August. She would wake and be coherent for short periods of time but she was in so much pain. She finally passed away on August 27 at 2:20 in the morning. I was there by her bedside with my mom, she woke up looked at us and we told her it was ok to go. She went back to sleep and took 4 breaths made a sound took two more breaths and then she was gone. My beautiful butterfly grandmother was gone.
So now I am home and trying to work through the grief. My wonderfull husband said to take my time, grieve as much and as long as I needed to. All of the nights sleeping in a chair, and taking care of my grandma and my mom have taken a physical toll on me too. I went to my doc when I got back and she took one look at me and said we are back not to square one but to negative 5. Pain is terrible, I need the hugs but it hurts. I can't sleep in my bed have migrated to the couch. My hubby can't sleep in the bed if I am not there so he joined me on the couch. We have a big sectional so we both fit. I am seeing a Rhumy next week, cause my PC doc said I am too far gone for her care. Also have a appointment with a gyno to get the refferal for the Hysto. So I totter along and try and not cry every day. (Doc upped my Prozac too) But winter is coming and I really don't want to start it off like this.
Sorry this is so long, trying to talk a bit too to see if it helps. I have missed all of you here.
Definitely time for you to take a little "me" time and recuperate. Glad your hubby is understanding.
Take care.
Gentle caring hugs, always Gail
How fortunate to live that long, Seems cancer is a part of everyones life anymore. My mother went through the same thing you grandmother. My mom died at the age of 73, all of sudden went from going bowling to under Hospice care. Then my dad died 6 months ago.
Your grandmother was very lucky to have you in her life. I wish I had been close to my grandparents but they lived too far away.
Hospice is a wonderful program I am so glad it exist to help the one dying and the family through a rough time.
I keep wondering though when it won't feel like I have been kicked in the heart everytime I think about her. I have one of her wind chimes that I hung in my living room. It makes this light tinkling sound every once in a while and I know it is her letting me know she is still with me.
Again thank you all for the kind words. I will only be on every once in a while when I can get my sore body to the library. It is only two blocks away from my house and my goal is to try and make it there every day at least to check email. Had to let our home internet go. One of our not neccessary things that we did away with now that we had to tighten the purse strings. I can't wait until we move out of the city!!