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Miki26 09/09/2023

Obviously you guys know what's going on with Koshka...I'm doing what I can to keep her comfortable and giving her lots of cuddles and treats, while also hyperfocusing on any little thing that could be a neuro issue.

I'm trying not to obsess over it but my brain is great at that, and one way I've been trying to control that is by looking around at adoptable cats/kittens..realistically, I will almost certainly get another. None of the cats are bonded with Koshka at all so that's not really a concern. I'm going back and forth on looking for a special needs or shy cat vs looking for a silver tabby or smoke colored cat. Well, somehow I found both. There's a gorgeous smoke kitten who looks about 5 months old, and she has a deformity in her chest where her ribs/sternum are pushed in on the left side, to the point where her heart is displaced to the right. According to the description she's doing well now but obviously will need monitoring and I would assume she would be higher risk under anesthesia or even stress/heat etc due to compressed lung space. I'm seriously considering applying for her, and if I end up getting approved, the plan would be to keep her separate from Koshka because there's no way I want to stress her out, especially knowing she has poor vision. She is mostly hanging out in one or 2 places so it would be doable to keep them separate without having a kitten in the small bathroom 24/7.

Would I be completely horrible for applying for this kitten while I still have Koshka? In no way would it mean I'm rushing her passing, or that I don't care about her and just want a replacement or whatever. After Noah passed, adopting and socializing Haco and Skadi really helped me get my mind off things. And if I don't get approved I'm not going to immediately apply for another or anything, I just have a gut feeling with this one.

beclinkay 09/09/2023

I know this is tearing at your heart, but I can’t think of anyone else who would be as good as you, loving and taking care of this little kitten. It really, to me, doesn’t have anything to do with Koshka. She knows you love her and will do what’s best at the right time. But I can tell your heart already loves this kitten.

Miki26 09/09/2023

Thanks Bec. I've had that gut feeling with all my animals and it hasn't failed me. I can't really fill out the app until Monday because it has to be printed

puppymom06 09/09/2023

As a tech you are very qualified to take care of this kitten. The situation with Koshka is what it is. Koshka cannot think that you are getting her replacement because Koshka is not cognizant of her situation, what it means to die, or the thought process that would lead to that reasoning. Humans are going to think what they think because they are both nosey and petty and most can't mind their own business.

If you are able to care for this cat, then I say go for it.

lilmissy7 09/09/2023

(((((Miki))))
Follow your heart & you always have my support
Big hugs from me & Baby <3

Miki26 09/10/2023

Thanks everyone. Unfortunately I'm more worried about what the humans in my life will think. I'm devastated about Koshka but very few people see me show emotion thanks to my trauma growing up. I don't even know if I will tell my parents whenever I get a new cat because they just make disparaging comments-bf has told me how much he dislikes what they say. My sister does too about the cats, although she and my mom at least are somewhat supportive about the loss. Sister will find out via Facebook. Not sure she knows about Koshka since I haven't seen her or posted anything. I haven't discussed this with bf even...he will probably say he thinks I should wait but he will support whatever choice I make

AngelaJo 09/10/2023

If anyone is the right home for that kitten its you Miki! You would be a great kitty mom for the little one and with being a vet tech you know so much more than the average person about what the kitten needs or could need in the future etc!

Leo 09/10/2023

Of course it's fine to apply! Nothing says you'll get, and kittens tend to make marvelous distractions in grief. My hubby tends to compoare new to old pets so much we *have* to wait, but... if your heart is telling you, then maybe it's also *Koshka* telling you : "Don't be too lonely, Love's forever."

Fantod 09/10/2023

Miki - You’d be the best Mom for this kitten. Apply and see what happens. She could bring you a lot of happiness during a difficult time. Hugs!

BlueSky 09/11/2023

I think you should apply for her. You take great care of your furbabies, so why not. I wanted to do the same thing when Hershey's cancer returned. I knew she only had a few weeks left by then and it broke my heart. Spike and Silver had already passed away so Hershey was the only one left in my life. Having another fur baby by my side always helped me get through the grief of losing one. I picked out an older cat named Beatrice. But when I came back to apply, someone had just claimed her. Then I moved to Texas and decided to put pets on a back burner.

If your heart loves this cat, then you should go for it.

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