First things first: if you have any chance of a therapist to help with stress and grief from losing your dad? Take the chance. Even if it's annoying, painfult ot he FM, etc., b/c you can learn techniques for calming your mind, which will at least help you feel better overall if it can't fix your body. Speaking from looong experience here.

Second: You gotta do what you gotta. FM is a heck of a weight to carry, and life stressors can flare us up *fast*. And bad. I was basically in remission till a family problem back in 2009. So been there, still doing that. And if it means you back off some things? Then you have to. Having FM means our "starting" state is like someone else's "just ran 10 miles and lifted weights for two hours". You need healing time.

Finally, enough of the rah-rah stuff. I am encasing you in a big old furry hug. Many sympathies on your loss of your dad, and of your job. Grieve away. We're here.

Your priority is taking care of yourself and you do what you need to do. Leo gives some excellent suggestions. You suffered a major life event, and need time to sort it out. Fibro doesn't make it easier, and I'm so sorry you are going through this. *big soft hugs*

Thank you leox3, I have to say, I was expecting a sermon on "tough it out" or something, how strange it is to find comfort instead of judgement. I will be seeing my doctor ASAP. I don't see any hope or light at the end of the tunnel, but I will take it one day at a time.

Thanks for the gentle hugs Madelinef and the understanding. No one can understand like someone that has the same health issues. I can't talk to family because they just don't get it. So thank you, and gentle hugs back to you.

Curly, IMHO, You've already shown you're tough enough to survive, and to make a hard decision. Anyone tells you to tough it out? Tell them to spend a week with sixty pounds strapped to their back, day and night. We walk around on a good day like their "ugh" days. Oh, getting them to understand? Fibromyalgia for Dummies. Excellent resoure book for us, good for squishing bugs, and in times of trial, shoving it under the noses of nay-sayers helps, too!

Hi Julie. First of all, my most heartfelt condolences on the loss of your father. I lost mine in 1991 and I still grieve in a way. It is a catastrophic life event. Add in the life changing fibromyalgia and oh crap.

I learned pretty quickly with this disease, that I can barely handle life when it behaves perfectly and it rarely does. If ever there was a time to think about yourself, now is it.

If you want to, talk with your boss. See if you can negotiate terms you can live with. Part time? Maybe a leave?

When your COBRA paperwork comes in, see if they offer employee assistance. Mine offered it for 2.45 a month. 6 counseling sessions.

If you want to quit this gig, model your next job into something that works for you.

If your dad died in hospice, they have 12 months of grief counseling included, by federal regulation.

Julie, please keep posting and reaching out.

Tess

dear curlykraut-I am sorry you went through all of this-I lost my
Dad last year, and now my mom is dying too. They live in another state, and I am estranged from my brother. Very stressful. I had to retire abruptly 3 months ago, after I fell and broke 10 bones. 23 years of fibro, and co-morbidities did me in. I am grieving the loss of a 34 year health care career. We all seem to be going through the same things, that is why this group helps so much. Good luck to you as well and take care. Fibrohyg

i gave my job up last june...i was just done..this is giving me many problems..cfs/dizzys/bladder/ibs..was thinking i would come good after leaving work..how wrong was i..my body is done for the day from the time i get upalways been a worker 55 hours a week plus..so that is also going to play on the mind..i just dont know what to do

Oh LeoX3 you made me smile! Thank you. The book will be ordered. I've got to keep my head above water, as I am a 42 year old single parent. I pray. Trying so hard to find the good in a bad thing.

Tess, no chance of talking to my boss now, the decision is irrevocable. I will call hospice, and my dr...now i have no insurance but will bute the bullet, and get a medication change too. Thank you for your reply. Julie

Fibrohyg, wow how do you pay the bills? I am a single parent, should I apply for disability? I am so sorry about your mom and dad, it must be indescribable what you are going through! I try to remember other people are going through worse things than I, but it doesn't seem to help as much as just talking to people. Thank you for reaching out to me. Julie

Lasers, I hear what you are saying. Life just bowls you over and it is so hard to run around and pick up the pieces when you have fibromyalgia, even harder to put those pieces back into some sort of order we can work with. I don't know what to do either. One day at a time? It's all I can focus on. Julie

curlykraut-thanks for replying on 4-3-16. I am lucky my husband is working, but it is still very hard-high copays on my meds, and his job is not real high paying. I did file for disability on 1-29-16-scary-never dreamed this would happen. I do have a lawyer in town. Hope for the best. Thanks about my parents-it is everything at once. I called today to get a mental health appointment, to look over my pills, and some talk therapy. Fibrohyg

Just wanted to send hugs!!!I have lost both my parents and went into a severe depression that I had totally not expected.....med's, grief support group, prayers and a job change to take care of me. Just want you to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Life will be different but God is good and opens a window when a door closes!

curly, if you have worked and you have had to stop working, your work credits begin to expire for the purposes of SSDI. If you don't have enough work credits for SSDI, you may be able to apply for SSI. The non medical requirements for SSI are that you can't have more than $753 a month in unearned income and not much more than that in earned income monthy. You also can't have more than $2,000 in resources.

Have you told your drs how your fibro affects your ability to function and have they written that in your medical records at each visit ? Our drs don't write down everything that we tell them or everything that they tell us. The only way to be sure what is written in your medical records is for you to get a copy and read them. I have also put a link below that is important. Not many people are approved before they get to the ALJ Hearing stage and that can take about 2 yrs or longer. Do you need someone to help with your activities of daily living ? If you do, they can fill out a third party form to send in to SSA along with the forms that SSA will send you after you submit your application. If you apply for SSDI, you can do that online. If you apply for SSI only, you can go into you local office or ask SSA to mail you an SSI application. For SSI, if you are approved, they will want to see your bank statements, rent and utility receipts, etc. The max federal amount for SSI in 2016 is $733 a month, provided you have no other income. SSDI doesn't require financial info and income and resources don't matter.

Evaluation of Fibromyalgia-
https://www.ssa.gov/OP_Home/rulings/di/01/SSR2012-02-di-01.html