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its been raining last couple days... last night had a flash flood watch.
been feeling like total crap and really tired / half asleep. even my friends that see me been asking me what's wrong with me, cause i look like a zombie.
then today my ex comes by to check on his 2 cats he left when he moved out 3 weeks ago... as he was here, i presented the facts about how i'm broke and one of his cats needs the rest of her shots, plus she needs "fixed" since she's going into heat already.
i told him that since i owe him money for some things, that he either pay for her appts or i deduct the money for what i owe. to me it seemed logic enough
next thing i know he starts yelling and screaming at me that he don't understand why this and that.....
he gives me $40 then leaves.....
10 mins later my phone rings and it's him. he starts cussing me out calling me a psychotic evil bitch that is black mailing him for money that i'm totally evil and fucked up and blah blah blah....
i told him that i could just give his cats away cuz it's too overwhelming to take care of......starts screaming and cussing at me so loud i can barely understand him... he was calling me every name and cuss word in the book.... .so i hung up on him.
i'm not evil or fucked up. i tried to tell him while he was still here that i have tried to refinance my truck to make room, but i got denied. i can't afford it, and physically it's hard to feed 4 freakin cats!!! i have 2 of my own and 2 of his makes 4. not to mention to scoop their litter.
i dont' need this stress and it's hard with the fibro.... his anger and negativity can really get me down. after i hung up the phone on him, i couldn't help but to cry...... this dude is psycho and so hateful
been feeling like total crap and really tired / half asleep. even my friends that see me been asking me what's wrong with me, cause i look like a zombie.
then today my ex comes by to check on his 2 cats he left when he moved out 3 weeks ago... as he was here, i presented the facts about how i'm broke and one of his cats needs the rest of her shots, plus she needs "fixed" since she's going into heat already.
i told him that since i owe him money for some things, that he either pay for her appts or i deduct the money for what i owe. to me it seemed logic enough
next thing i know he starts yelling and screaming at me that he don't understand why this and that.....
he gives me $40 then leaves.....
10 mins later my phone rings and it's him. he starts cussing me out calling me a psychotic evil bitch that is black mailing him for money that i'm totally evil and fucked up and blah blah blah....
i told him that i could just give his cats away cuz it's too overwhelming to take care of......starts screaming and cussing at me so loud i can barely understand him... he was calling me every name and cuss word in the book.... .so i hung up on him.
i'm not evil or fucked up. i tried to tell him while he was still here that i have tried to refinance my truck to make room, but i got denied. i can't afford it, and physically it's hard to feed 4 freakin cats!!! i have 2 of my own and 2 of his makes 4. not to mention to scoop their litter.
i dont' need this stress and it's hard with the fibro.... his anger and negativity can really get me down. after i hung up the phone on him, i couldn't help but to cry...... this dude is psycho and so hateful
sorry your having to go through this ... stress like that is hard to handle for anyone even if they do not have health issues. Is there anyway he could just take his 2 cats so does not have to come back ?
Hope things get better for you soon.. take care gentle hugs
i just called his mom in Texas and told her
called his best friend, too, but no answer. i hope his best friend can at least get to him before he tries anything stupid
He clearly feels guilty...otherwise he wouldn't have handed you the $40 regardless of what reason was behind it.
I would treat him like a tenant from here on out. He has stuff left behind, then he has X amount of days to come and get it or it's a free for all.
You're stronger than this hun. Both of us know that. But when you deal with someone like him....then yah, it's gonna get to you. I say Vent away hun.
Sending you big hugs!
jen
May I also suggest that either you change your phone number or stop answering his calls? That way you will reduce the stress of his berating you.
Gentle Hugs
Dolphin
He's not being rational. Calling his mother was a kind and generous thing to do. You are a good and caring person and he's just being a crybaby jerk. Don't let him manipulate you. Send his cats packing.
So sorry this has all happened.....obviously this stress is not helpful, and he certainly doesn't need to be ranting and raving at you....he should be responsible for his animals!
Hope things calm down soon, and you can have some peace and quiet....please come on and vent anytime.....we're happy to listen and support!
HUGS from down south :)
so regardless, i still have to either see him or pay him somehow (in person or by mail). he wont' give me his address, he wants to collect the money in person. ...asshole.
but i'm keeping a spread sheet of the payments and he is signing it every time i pay so there is evidence in case ti ever ends up in court. because he just threatened today to take me to court.
but honestly, i don't think half the money he's asking for would hold up in court. there's no contract between us and the judge would probably see them as gifts, etc. he's a dumb ass....
the only thing that would hold up in court is the dryer.
fucking dumb ass just called again @#$&*(@!##^&$%*(#@###
he's said he didn;t mean to call me all those things but it's a liltte late now
i;m not answering my phone anymore
depressing as hell...................................................
Yeah, he's going to take you to court.
I stressed out when my ex told me he was going to take me to court and get custody of the kids. He FINALLY did, after terrorizing me for 7 years. The judge nearly took the shirt off his back (made him empty his wallet and give it all to me) and upped his child support obligations. The judge told me I was a good and responsible mother and ripped my ex a new one for wasting his time.
i'm so down right now and hurt
this is NOT good for the fibro
i really wish fibro wasn't a part of my life. then i could handle bullshit like this much better
Don't stress it will be over soon. If he won't give you his adress tell him you will send his money through his friend and that he has to get his cats within so many days or they can be picked up at the local vets office. The vet should house them for him until he can pick them up. If he doesn't pick them up by the date he will be charged a fee and if he waits too long they will contact you or adopt them out. Or atleast they do here.
Pack up the rest of his stuff and have his friend pick it up and deliver it to him. Then take out a restraining order. This is emotional abuse. Pure and simple. I never knew it was this bad.
Have his number blocked! You do not need the stress! Want me to bring my potty mouth fixxer upper! XXXX HABANERO SALSA! XXXX
I agree with many of the posts: he left the cats and belongings as a way back in to keep control. He wants to be paid in person for the same reason.
Weak men almost always resort to suicidal threats. While most don't act on them and succeed, you would be in NO way involved in that if he tried something. It's all about him, and you need to break that.
I like unduki's idea of charging board for the cats, but he still has that way in. Try to find another place for them and make HIM pay for it.
Send the money, if you really owe him anything, to his mother by certified mail. Btw, he bought the dryer while living there, it was used for his clothes. It was a household expense. Why should you pay him for that?
I also agree about the restraining order. Don't take his calls. He is toxic for you.
YOU DESERVE BETTER!
Please take care of yourself and rant as much as you need to.
his mom called me back and told me in an angry voice "he's not at all suicidal, so i dont know what you two have goin on that youre arguing about, but i don't want any part of it." and then hung up on me.
so either he's lying to her, or he's lying to me. i called him back and told him he's a lying sack of shit and come judgment day, he's gonna have to answer for all his lies and wrong doings.
it says in the Bible to pray for your enemies....but in all honestly, all i wanted do was go to his apartment and beat him up side the head for all the hurt he's caused. i cried hard from the pain last night. i loved him for almost 4 f*ckin years.... and yesterday on the phone, one of the things he said to me was "i couldn't give a fuck WHAT happens to you!".......
so i took the time to pray for him that God please help him with his severe mental problems and help him find his way. help him with all his hatred, that he find some peace.... this dude is really screwed up.
i also prayed that God please help me... cuz it really hurts. my heart was in so much pain. and at the same time as i was crying, i could feel my body hurt all over. it hurt just to breath.
i'm gonna find a way to get this dude out of my life. i don't deserve his psychosis.
Give him the cats, make sure your locks are secure (change them if you need to), and cut it off. Period.
As long as he has an excuse to torment you he will. You have the power to put an end to it.
As for the suicide, the day I knew I finally had my life back was the day I told my abusive ex "would you please stop calling me - do it or don't do it - but don't call me as it has nothing to do with me. I am NOT responsible for what you choose to do or not do - GOODBYE!"
24 hours later he checked in to a psych ward - which was another ploy in and of itself (that didn't work). But he DID get the message - I was done and I was not going to make myself responsible for his choices.
Kick his abusive ass to the curb.
he said he won't move to a different one when the lease is up. he's so stupid. i think he doesn't want to let me go. he's a serious nut case.
i'm gonna call my friend who really likes cats and see if she'll take the cats ( she's had 8 in the past) at least till he moves to an aprt that allows pets. that way, he won't have an excuse to come to my house.
a lot of times he just shows up on his own, with out asking me.