My husband has a cold right now. That used to mean he would spend half a day in bed and then he'd be fine. Now with fibro, it's like the cold causes a really bad flare up...the light in his eyes is gone again, he's super irritable toward me and my toddler, and he barely communicates. Its like he shuts the world out. Or the suffering is so bad that he retreats into himself. Or the fibro fog is so deep that I can't see him anymore....and I have no way of knowing when he will be back.
I hurt knowing how much he's suffering...but I also hurt for me....it is so lonely missing someone who is right beside you. And my heart hurts for our 3 year old...today when I was putting him to bed he said he wanted to sleep in mommy and daddy's bed so he could cuddle with daddy...it wouldn't work that way because my husband can't fall asleep till somewhere between 1 and 3 am so he isn't even in bed. And I'm up a lot at night with the baby. So it's really best if our toddler sleeps in his own room so he doesn't have a disturbed sleep. But it still broke my heart to hear him say that....because I know he just misses his dad...and I miss him too.