(((hugs))) So sorry that you and yours are dealing with all this. Was he dx by a rheumatologist? There are a lot of meds that can help him live a full life. A great doc is key.

I am sure this is very hard on a man with so much going on in his life. Is it possible that your hubby is depressed? Many docs do start ppl on anti depressants, as it is so easy to feel low when you feel bad.

So sorry for you both. There are some meds that will help make him more functional. Fibromyalgia for Dummies is a good book for both of you. Feel free to lurk or post here anytime & maybe when your hubby is feeling functional for a while he can read through too. Diet, massage therapy, physical therapy, hot tub, heating pad, moderation are some of the things that help me. Good luck.

That is a lot to deal with!!! Encourage your husband to read as much as he can about fibro and also visit these boards. You will learn a lot......Everyone deals differently with this and everyone's fibro is different.

Have a good look at his diet...most people with fibro cut out gluten and dairy. I did and it makes a huge difference. If I do "sin" I pay for it for days.

What I find very helpful is making a routine for myself and stick to it. I don't sleep during the day, but I have frequent short rests to refuel my energy.

As for medication...the tendency is to prescribe medication right away........I am not taking any prescription medications for fibro due to the side effects; we have enough to deal with... Luckily my doctor is very open to my suggestions and the fact that I want to figure out myself what can be done the "natural" way. Have been going for acupuncture weekly since mid-July 2013 and find that I have less pain and more energy. It is not for everyone, but worth a try...

You know, the man you fell in love with and married is not gone; he is still there. The only difference is that he has a condition named fibromyalgia...........Something both of you can learn to deal and cope with..........It is possible!! The diagnosis is fresh and new and the two of you are coping with that, but both of you will adjust with time.

Aside from pain, the fibro fog is the worst! There are days I don't recognize myself........numerous times I go to the grocery store with a list, only to return home with half the items on the list as I did not clue in to the fact that I actually have to remove the items from the shelves and put them in my cart...haha. I have learned to laugh about that and call myself a space cadet at times (my daughter calls me a stoner.... :) ). Checking out during conversations is very frustrating for all parties involved......

As for you, try to talk to friends with kids about issues with your children and include your husband once you have a clearer picture how you want to resolve child rearing issues.......just a suggestion. He will have brighter days and on those days you could do some problem solving....

Another suggestion.........encourage your husband to do the cookie baking in stages; mix the dry ingredients today and finish the cookies tomorrow.....

Good luck to you both. Check in to this board daily....you will find a tremendous amount of support, understanding, suggestions and humour! Welcome aboard!

You have a lot on your plate. Kudos for coming here for support. As Jen said, a good doctor is the key. Find one you both feel comfortable with that gives you options. There can be light at the end of this tunnel. Currently, I am on Cymbalta and have days where I can't think straight and can't move, but they are not nearly as frequently (everyday) as they were before I started the meds. However, it took a good 3-4 months to show a difference.
Has he seen a neurologist? His seizure has me worried. He could be dealing with more than Fibro.

Hugs to you, you hubby and babies.

I am so sorry that you find yourself in this very difficult situation. You have more on your plate than any one person deserves.

Fibromyalgia (FMS) is pretty rare in men. Only 20% of men are diagnosed versus us lucky women. I'd like to suggest that you purchase the book "Fibromyalgia for Dummies." It is available on Amazon. Like all of the dummies series, it contains easy to understand information. It will give you a comprehensive overview of this nasty illness and a lot of ways to try and manage it. Knowledge is power.

The three primary medications used to treat FMS are Cymbalta, Savella and Lyrica. Every FMS patient is different so there is no set formula that works for everyone. It takes time and a lot of tinkering to find the right combination of meds and dosage for each patient. A key point to remember is that the longer a chronic pain cycle continues, the harder it becomes to manage or stop. Starting medication does not mean instant relief. It could two weeks or much longer before he begins to notice a change in his symptoms.

It is also very important to use a medication for sleep. FMS interrupts the deep sleep cycle with short bursts of high intensity brain activity. Your muscles require deep sleep in order to repair themselves from the days activities. No deep sleep means higher levels of pain which rapidly becomes a vicious circle. This is a critical part of managing FMS. I'd like to suggest that he has a sleep study done ASAP. That will pinpoint exactly what is going on with his sleep cycle. In turn, the right medication can be used to help him sleep and get back on a normal cycle.

Has his Vitamin D level been checked? Has he been checked for gluten intolerance? Either of these issues will also contribute to widespread pain.

He should not be using anything that contains an artificial sweetener. Nontoxic Stevia which can be found in the baking aisle is a safe choice. Nitrates will also probably ratchet up his pain levels. Nitrates can be found in lunchmeat, deep fried food, red wine and a host of other food items. Most people with FMS have chemical sensitivities to these items.

You need help. Do you have family and friends nearby who can lend a hand to give you a break? Being a caregiver is very stressful particularly under your circumstances. You'll be no good to anyone if you can't get some time to do yourself to relax and get away from all of that stress.

Fibro fog is fairly common. I think in this instance it is so severe due to his sleep cycle and lack of restorative sleep. He needs that sleep study done and medication. FMS patients can sleep for hours and not get the type of sleep that they need and makes them functional without medication. There is a supplement that can be helpful too. It is called Neuro-PS. You can purchase it at the Vitamin Shoppe, online or at any decent health food store. Proper sleep should help restore your husband to the companion that you miss so much.

I'd like to gently suggest that you consider counseling. The best type of counseling for this situation is "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" or "CBT." It will give him the tools to better cope with a diaqnosis of chronic illness. Many of us see someone for extra support. You can find a counselor in your area by using Google or call your local hospital and ask for the physician referral service.

Things will start to get better once he has a medication regimen. In the meantime, see what you can do to get a break for yourself. I commend you for coming here and asking for help. You are not alone. Feel free to ask questions, vent and just hang out. Take care of yourself and God Bless.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You have gotten a lot of good suggestions here, so I don't have anything to add there. Just please don't give up. This is manageable. It will get better.

There is nothing more frustrating than hearing you have a disorder that has no cure let alone very little understanding as to why it even exists.

But like all new diagnoses of this magnitude, once you dry your eyes and look up you see the big picture.

Yes, pain will more than likely always be there, and living with this twisted little disorder has you on a roller coaster of being disabled to being able to cope and deal with it all.

Almost all of us were at a low when we were diagnosed. Then we learned how to manage each symptom through meds, movement/exercise, and dietary intake.

Each of us carry a story similar to the next. But most importantly, we all have figured this out with the help of one another.

Trust that you and your hubby will find a better way to cope and live with fibro. Because in the end, that is what we are all doing. Living with it.

Welcome to the group.

Are you sure he really has fibro? That kind of fog seems beyond fibro to me--and I have had some really severe fog myself that I don't believe is fibro. Also, seizures are not fibro. Do you have a university hospital with a good rheumatology department. I'd really go for a second opinion. I had severe fog about a year ago which hasn't been exactly pinned down. It seems like it maybe autoimmune. But I got tired of waiting and started taking low dose naltrexone. That seemed to help bring me back. Now I'm taking one aspirin a day to thin my blood and that seems to have helped both my pain and fog. (The aspirin helped pain more than I would have expected one aspirin to do.) Even when I couldn't remember anything from one minute to the other, I knew I was still in there. It's a very frustrating state to be in. He's lucky to have a caring person in his life. I hope you find some good help.

I agree with AnnNY about possibly getting a second opinion. Has he been diagnosed with anything else?

What kind of Dr diagnosed him and what tests did they perform on him?

If it is indeed Fibro, there are many things that you can do to help him and that he can do to help himself. All of the advice already mentioned is great advice!

I would also like suggest getting him into as much of a routine as possible. He needs to go to bed and wake up around the same time. He needs to do low impact exercise 30 minutes a day such as walking, biking, or aqua therapy. See if your insurance would cover a physical therapist. They will give him daily stretch exercises that are tailored to his body.

Tens machine, massages, and even a chiropractor are also things worth looking into for him as well.

A person with Fibro has really tight muscles due to the nerve sensory endings being damaged in the connective tissues of our muscles. Think of it as we have the same muscles as someone who has been body building even though we don't body build. While that may seem great, it actually causes us to have more pain. A key to less pain naturally is to loosen those muscles. The weather has a direct impact on our muscles, cold= tighter muscles.

Another way to have less pain naturally is to increase your body's natural pain killers, and exercise does just that... the kind of exercise is key, though as some forms of exercise actually hurt us worse.

The last form of natural pain killers is to fight the depression and frustration. The same part of our brain that fights pain also controls our emotions. That's why some Drs. will prescribe antidepressants to Fibro patients even when they aren't actually depressed.

Good luck with everything! The diagnosis part is frustrating because there is no cure to this. However, there are so many ways to try and fight our pain to live as normal of a life as possible, especially because you have small kids and a household to run. I'm in the same boat as you with small kids. I work because I don't have a choice and couldn't even get disability if I tried.

I'm so sorry you have so much going on right now and can only imagine how tired you must be taking care of everyone. There are lots of good suggestions here, and the Fibromyalgia for Dummies is a great resource. If he's able to do research and drop in here occasionally, he may feel like he can get some kind of control on this debilitating disease. As others have mentioned, baby steps - maybe he can help make cookies, fold a load of laundry, wipe down some counters. Doing little things can feel like big accomplishments when he is in so much pain and depressed.

In the meantime, do you have any family or friends that you can ask for help? I know it seems obvious, but sometimes we overestimate our ability to cope with so much. Getting some help with housework and childcare would give you a break to get some sleep and take care of yourself.

Take care, and (((hugs))) to both of you.
Lynn

I'm new to the fibro world myself and it is my 10 year old son that has it. But my husband of 15 years got sick (not with fibro) and it ruined him. Men are very emotionally caught up in being able to provide for their families, be a man, etc. Even very "enlightened" men fall pray to this in the long run. I beg of you, get him to a counselor. My husband wouldn't go, got more and more depressed, then got angry, etc. and well, we've been separated for a year now. He is finally seeing a counselor and starting to get a handle on his illness from an emotional standpoint, but it's too late for us and our family. The best thing you can do right now, is get him a counselor.

I so feel for you having to do everything, I that for five years. It was very hard. I hope you have a friend or two you can rely on to watch the kids so you can get an occasional break. It's so hard being the caretaker. Hugest of hugs from me!

Has anyone done an MRI on your husband's head and neck? I would hope after he had a seizure that a neurologist would have done a thorough workup on him.

I have read where people with Chiari malformation can have seizures. Their symptoms may be very similar to FM and cervical spinal cord compression, which I had and it was corrected with surgery.

Here is a chart showing the symptoms of FM, Chiari and cervical cord compression. http://www.nfra.net/Symchart.htm

I would not accept a diagnosis of FM. Has he ever has a sleep study? It could even be Narcolepsy. Keep searching. You are both so young with babies.

Best to you and your family.

You have received a lot of excellent advice. I second everything that Fantod has said plus the thought expressed by many that a second opinion would be warranted.

A couple of things come to mind. There are only two good ways of ruling out gluten intolerance. One is a clinic that specializes in it such as one in Columbia another is an elimination diet. The run of the mill GP test is often insensitive.

The second is to believe wholeheartedly that he will be able to manage the condition wonderfully and regain a more normal life. Having a positive attitude is highly linked to good outcomes and I am not talking about a placebo effect or mind over matter. I mean that it is totally possible. That has been my experience, and to find what works takes trial and error and persistence. If you believe you persist. If you persist, you find medicines and lifestyle that makes a difference.

Of course, the first thing is to decrease the pain and to improve sleep, but I have found that it is important to address all symptoms. Everything counts because it all adds up and multiplies. For instance, I sit on a ball at work because my back is messed up, I don't wear even a light necklace, and so on. These are small things, but they all add up.

I have had great success with 30 mg of Cymbalta and 3 mg of naltrexone. Since he has a lot of fatigue, he too might benefit from naltrexone. Google low dose naltrexone. Ask your doctor.

My best wishes. Hug.

Thank you everyone for your helpful responses!! I will respond to the questions some of you asked when I get a chance to sit down at the computer again. It might take me a couple of days. Thanks again :)

I'm so sorry. You have a lot on your plate. You have been given a wealth of excellent advice from the awesome members on this board. I agree with others who have stated that they feel a second opinion is in order. Did he have an MRI? Did he see a neurologist for the seizures? The brain fog sounds pretty intense, so I would definitely suggest a work up from a neurologist if he hasn't had one already. Who diagnosed the fibromyalgia and what kind of work-up did they do on him?

First, take solace in the fact that things can get and do better for us. When I was first diagnosed I thought I was dying and was practically bedridden. I had to go on FMLA and thought I was going to lose my job. I kept searching, reading, and researching until I found a wonderful doctor who specializes in fibromyalgia and chronic pain. She helped me to devise a treatment program that works well for me. I am now working full-time again, with intermittent FMLA. Intermittent FMLA allows me to take off a few days off a month if needed, for flare-ups. Your husband can and will improve once he has found a treatment regimen that works for him. It will take a lot of experimentation, persistence, trial and error, but once he finds the right regimen, he will have better control.

I would start by finding a doctor who is familiar with the diagnosis and treatment of fibromyalgia. Not every doctor is adequately trained in the diagnosis and treatment of fibro, so this step is important. I found my doctor on the following site:

http://www.co-cure.org/Good-Doc.htm

In my opinion integrative or functional medical doctor (uses both conventional and natural medicine). They tend to due more thorough blood work, and treat the body wholistically.

You are already doing your research, so continue to empower yourself through reading. Some books that were helpful to me are: Fibromyalgia for Dummies, From Fatigued to Fantastic, Integrative Therapies for Fibromyalgia.....by Celeste Cooper, The Complete Fibromyalgia Health, Diet Guide and Cookbook, The Bible Cure for Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia, and The Fungus Link by Doug Kaufman.

Some of the things that have helped me are diet (anti-candida diet, no sugar, yeast, dairy or gluten), taking anti-fungals (for systemic candida), massages, hot bath tub soaks with Epsom Salt, heated blankets, heating pads, acupuncture, supplements (vitamin D3,malic acid, etc), pacing (taking activities really slow and breaking them up), aqua therapy in a heated pool, a tens unit, meditation, and essential oils.

I pray that you and your hubby will find the best plan to help him manage his condition. Feel free to message me any time.