Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
This is something i am struggling with. I have not worked a full time job in a very very long time. I got pregnant with my first at 19 and nannied in my home. Now, during THAT time i worked well over full time, but i was able to sit down, rest with the kids if needed, etc. I was also a lot younger!
After my son was born (3 years later) i pretty much stayed a stay at home mom and only worked weekends, or doing stuff from home, selling stuff, etc. Just to help bring in a little more to what my husband made.
After the kids were old enough for school we decided for ME to go back to school. I started out getting my CNA license and then taking every core class that i would need for a bachelors degree in nursing. Graduated with an associates in liberal arts and then started applying to nursing schools. The whole time i was in school i worked 3-5 hour days doing homecare for a quadrapeligic man and then worked one weekend evening at a memory care facility. So, total, around 25 hours a week or so.
I was accepted into nursing school, but unfortunately, i ended up having a VERY poor experience there. It would take way too long to explain all of the factors, but i decided at the very least i did not want my name attached to a degree from this facility.
Currently i am back doing my homecare job, but only twice a week and then my memory care job once a week. I am averaging about 12-15 hours a week right now, then i am still finishing pathophysiology (not my nursing courses) and taking phlebotomy courses 2 evenings a week. On top of that my kids have different sports activities tues-fri evenings and saturday mornings and then games, tournaments, etc. My husband and both my kids have celiac disease, so all our meals have to be prepared. fast food is not an option (kinda a blessing in disguise).
Here is the thing. When i am done with my jobs, i am dying. My back, feet, hands, neck, etc hurt SO BAD. I am pushing through it as best i can. When i was doing 10-12 hours clinicals in the hospital i was absolutely miserable. both emotionally and physically.
So, here is the question/need for suggestion. Obviously i cannot stay a CNA even if i love it. For a healthy person it is not a smart long term career option for the body. For a personal with issues like mine it is not physically possible for me to continue to roll or lift 200+ lb patients or getting punched, slapped, etc by a confused dementia patient. I still wanted to push foreward for at least an LPN. I feel like i have spent SO much time to become a nurse that i feel disappointed in myself for not continuing more. Okay, i can accept that RN is out. After the things i saw and the people i met, i would never want to work in a hospital setting like that.
HOWEVER, i did find out that with my CNA certification and also my phlebotomy certification i could work as a dialysis technologist and that sounds extremely interesting to me. The issue? likely 10 hour days. I was talking to my husband about it and i said, "i could probably do 3 days a week." and he immediately starts in with, "well, why wouldnt you do full time?" But, here is the thing...i dont know if my body will ALLOW me to ever work full time again! Yes, the desire is there, but can i really push my body that hard, plus come home and do all the cooking (my husband had a transplant not long ago), AND get the kids off to sports, plus the normal home maintenance?
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Another day, another ouchie?My bruised achilles tendon (don't ask) makes my foot numb. Wonky on meds, whacked it.Now, as to fibro:A lot of reports are going around some parts of social media that fibro (and dang near anything else) are caused by post-Covid, post-flu, post-vaccinations, post-pick-something.1. Your risk of death or serious complications beyond "ow, that shot hurt!" are typically...
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
The fact your hubby had a transplant doesn't preclude his doing *some* things eventually, one would hope? Fold laundry, put away dishes, even *cook*? I don't want to sound harsh, I apologize, it's just that you cannot do *ALL* of it. Nobody can! Even if htey're perfectly healthy! So just... don't try, okay?
Thirty hours is a *lot* more than I could do. I know you both must be thinking about benefits, etc., but .... it's not worth damaging yourself, okay? That's what I did. doesn't pay off.
Luck and blessing. It'sa helluva trap.
My wife made the decision to quite her job 5 years ago due to Fibro and it was the best decision she ever made (other than marrying me :)). Just reducing the daily stresses is a huge release in dealing with the disease.
When I got home the kids had vacuumed the hallway and the stairs and cleaned up the living room (as best they can. they are 11 and 8) and brought all their dirty laundry downstairs. My husband did the dishes and wiped the counter around the dishes and used to foreman grill to cook some sausages to have on hand for the week to eat. (he had a knee transplant. So, the issue is that he is physically not able to walk yet without a cane or crutches and cant stand that long). So, yes, they ARE helping.
I ended up being super grateful for even that help, because when I got to work, there had been problems on the dayshift, so I had double work. I rushed everywhere. I ended up totally stripping and making 3 beds, giving 2 showers, 3 loads of dishes, 3 loads of laundry, rolling an entire basket of silverware into napkins, and then, of the course. The usual CNA work. Lifting them into bed, rolling them in bed, lifting to and from wheelchairs for toileting, etc. What is supposed to be a 5 hour shift ended up being just short of 7.
BUT, this is the thing. I absolutely adore these people. I love them, and I know for a fact that if I am not there to pick up the slack in these duties, they will just continue to fall behind. These are all living, breathing, human beings that still have emotions. So many of them have already become "throw aways" where they are dropped off and rarely ever visited. The least I can do for them is rub their backs with lotion and stay to give them hugs good night and make sure they have fresh laundry.
My husband sees me come home. He knows that I love my work. But, he also has to lay next to me and watch and listen when I have to take a deep breath before even rolling over. He sees the amount of pillows I have to pad my body with to sleep. He knows I am allergic to pain medication (yep. Anything opiate based. tramadol is the HIGHEST thing I can have. even after surgery) Hence, why he does not want me to pursue nursing and would rather have me in a standard lab with regular hours where I am sitting.
As far as the kids and sports, we do tag team, because the kids have sports at different locations. Our son does wrestling, judo, and jui jitsu anywhere from 1.5-2.5 hours tues-thurs and sat morning. our daughter does 2 hours of either taekwondo or volleyball tues-fri and Saturday morning. So, it is often one of us driving one place and the other taking the other. For our daughter we are a little more lucky, she has friends that go, so we carpool some days, but that means that I am still responsible for either pick up or drop off or both if someone does both for me. see what I mean?
I guess I am just struggling with the fact I am 31 and may not be able to work full time and how do I say that? how hirable will I be if I cant? how much will I have to settle for a job that will "work" but isn't as much of what I would "enjoy"? ugh. It all just sucks.
Work and fibro. Sometimes it's impossible (it was for me). I'd suggest just doing phebotomy for awhile and see if you like it/can handle it physically. Also, I would explore career options/career counseling. In my book, teaching something would be a good option because you get to sit or stand when you need to. A desk job wouldn't be good for me---I can't be tied to a computer or sit for very long, especially in the pm.
Adjusting to fibro is a long process and not easy. But respect your limits--you can only do what you can do.
I don't push myself, and take it easy.
Right now I'm having a flare due to weather. I am glad I'll be retiring in two years.
You need to listen to your body. Start with part time and if you can do it, try to increase your hours.
I've been unemployed for over a year now, but before that I was down to only working 6 hours a week. Given the length I had to travel to get to that job, those six hours plus travel would still dominate my week, energy-wise and pain-wise.
Through all this I have learned that fibro won't let me adapt to something if I just keep at it. If it's too much, it will always be too much. Before all these problems, if I had to cycle 30 minutes to a new job location and then work for 8 hours, I would be wiped initially, but I would get used to it for the most part. Now my body has hard limits, and doesn't adapt in the way that my stubbornness wants it to. A "normal" body can get a lot stronger if only you plunge it in sustained physical activity, but my fibro body just won't put up with this. Overdoing it just ends up digging a hole of pain, fatigue, and mental strain so bad that suicidal ideation starts becoming a problem.
All I can advise is to listen to your body as much as your situation allows - both the financial situation and your personal willingness to accept health-related life limitations. If you feel you have to step down on certain things, consider if you'd feel the need to talk to a counsellor. Some specialise in the mental health aspect associated with chronic illness or chronic pain, and they might be able to help with the grieving process that naturally occurs when our body can't keep up with our visions for our life.
Take care and good luck with everything.