Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
There was a question on the chronic pain board asking how everyone dealt with relatives and friends and co-workers and it made me wonder how you guys deal with people.
Do you hide your pain and pretend nothing is wrong?
I do, but then I see everyone snickering about how there is nothing wrong with me and why cant I do this or that..so then I am always feeling guilty if I dont attend a function or event.
I honestly just dont want to bother explaining about Fibro because I know they are not going to understand. After all, I look perfectly fine to them. I also dont want to fit into one of their categories of someone who wines and complains all the time about their health problems. (Course Im wondering why they ask if they dont want to hear it)
This weekend there is a wedding I should go to. But it is 3 hours away and I wont get back home till midnight or later. Im in a major flare right now! CFS has me down too and to top it off my DDD is really bad right now to the point I can hardly sit.
But I look fine.
So Ill say I cant go and everyone will be angry with me. O well, and life goes on..but I look fine! lol
So what do you all do?
Do you hide your pain and pretend nothing is wrong?
I do, but then I see everyone snickering about how there is nothing wrong with me and why cant I do this or that..so then I am always feeling guilty if I dont attend a function or event.
I honestly just dont want to bother explaining about Fibro because I know they are not going to understand. After all, I look perfectly fine to them. I also dont want to fit into one of their categories of someone who wines and complains all the time about their health problems. (Course Im wondering why they ask if they dont want to hear it)
This weekend there is a wedding I should go to. But it is 3 hours away and I wont get back home till midnight or later. Im in a major flare right now! CFS has me down too and to top it off my DDD is really bad right now to the point I can hardly sit.
But I look fine.
So Ill say I cant go and everyone will be angry with me. O well, and life goes on..but I look fine! lol
So what do you all do?
My son was disappointed- I told him if it was his wedding I would push myself and go no matter what even if I had to crawl down the aisle.
Only I can decide what I am capable of or can tolerate- only I can feel my pain. I just dont care what people think anymore. Fighting fibro is enough, I cant worry about pleasing others- esp if they dont get it.
If I am in a situation of having to explain myself- I say I have a chronic pain illness and leave it at that. For me that was part of acceptance - realizing my abilities and limitations and accepting them and doing the best I can and not beating myself up about it.
And it makes our situation more difficult because we become lonely, or get our feelings hurt which causes depression, which feeds the pain which feeds the depression .........on and on it goes.
But to be fair, there are some who do understand but just don't know how to deal with it. They don't know what to say. Maybe someone is afraid to ask you to do something because they know you hurt all the time. That was me at one time. I was not understanding of others who had chronic issues. I had sympathy and tried to be helpful but I truly did not understand. So with that thought, I think I will start another thread.......
If people don't want to know me because I am sick, that is THEIR problem, not mine!
Of course, it took me most of the last 17 years to get to this point, but now that I am here, I'm going for it. Any "friend" that I lose because of my illnesses, I am better off without. I have several close friends and members of my extended family that love me; but, most important, I have myself.
Hope you all can find the same strength. This forum is a good place to look for those special loving friends. . .
I'm almost 50 so most of the friends I have are close anyway. I've already "filtered" out my fair weathered friends over the years.
I've also learned from this group how and when to bring up FM. I don't hide my pain because it is real. But I continue to push every day and maintain my place in society.
From reading other's posts, I think many of you have FM far worse then I do. So far it's just a simple inconvenience now and then that I am working with on a daily basis. I feel like the Savella is working for me and allowing me to manage the pain.
Prayers all around :)
Bryan