I have gone back and forth about this for the 15 years that I have been diagnosed with fibro... And I have reached a point in my life where I look at people with eye contact and tell them I have fibromyalgia with pride. Not proud that I have the illness, but proud that I have fought this disease for this long and am still fighting. I tell all of them, whether they believe it or not, that it's a real illness and it is very tough to live with. I don't post much on here however I have been a member here and been reading posts for a long time. I have seen so many compassionate, encouraging and strong people both here and in my life that have fibro. And from people with all these amazing attributes that endure so much on a daily basis. It's truly encouraging to me that so many people have pushed through all that we put up with from sometimes family, friends, doctors doubting us, the pain and fatigue that we fight, on top of all the other symptoms. I can truly say that I look at people with pride when I tell them I have fibromyalgia.

I started with bipolar in 1999, chronic severe migraines in 2001,and fibro in December 2010.....I am very blunt about my illnesses, maybe to a fault. For example, the two downstairs apartments were empty until recently...a young couple moved in to each. I made friends with each of the wives and was completely upfront about everything...we still hang out so I guess it didn't scare them off.

i withdraw. Sometimes I go on nature walks myself and take photographs of animals. Except for medical people, like massage therapists, doctors, nurses, etc, I rarely mention it to fibro. When I do mention it, I try not to sound like I am complaining...I treat it like a fact of life. I am more apt to mention it to women than men. Men often think it is a psychological, emotional female disorder, since 80% of patients are women, and they cannot relate to me. I avoid social situations with lots of people.

I Guess it just Depends..I go if it is a Close Family/Friend..if not I send a gift anyway..3 hours is a long haul..Especially while in a Flare..

I just don't do things I Cannot do anymore...each situation is different obviously..but I don't Explain anymore as those who Know Me know whats going on with me..if They care they will Understand..if they Don't then Why should You ?

Ditto what Dakota said

Do what you can do, dont worry about what others think, life is too short and enjoy and do what you can.

I'm newly diagnosed with fibro and I have been wondering this myself. I'll be looking to see what other responses you get!

I'm completely different now than when I was first diagnosed 14 yrs ago.

In the beginning I felt shame and tried to hide it. Partly because I didn't understand what was going on with my body and couldn't explain it and couldn't explain why I wasn't able to do the things I used to do. My family was really, really rough on me and put me down. They are a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" kind of family.

Now, I just can't be around people who I feel are toxic and don't have my best interest at heart. I don't talk about it with new people I meet. Nobody wants to hear about it if you have FM. That's what I've learned.

If we only looked like we felt! Wow...people would take us more seriously. That is why it is so important for us to take care of ourselves. We know how we feel. It is hard tho. I don't always take the best care of me. I overdo it...I think we all do to a certain point. When I flare, my time is mine to rest and catch up. Now, if i really want to do something that I know will make me flare for a week, and i'm willing to sacrifice a week of physical torture for this, then I'll do it...and pay for it after. But that would be my choice. Generally, I tell people I'm in pain on a need-to-know basis. I love to rough-house with my 8 year old nephew. I tell him when I'm in pain and can't play but if we are just hanging out, I don't say anything. He doesn't really understand...and many grown-ups don't either...lol.

We are all Fighters regardless of how we handle 'others'.

I loved shawnbt's response, You are so right! We should take a look at ourselves from time to tome and say , "I'm proud"

ace88, it's easy to withdraw. I guess that is kinda why I started this thread, I have withdrawn too. I'm tired of explaining and tired of getting the 'look' but it is a very lonely existence, so like shawnbt, I'm rethinking....but I'm afraid in a negative way; I'm getting fed up with people. Yesterday I felt like telling everyone off: "Leave me alone, I'll do what I want to do, when, where and how and if you don't like it ....kiss off!!!" But I won't, because that's just not me:(

Dakota (*waving big Hi!*) Your still here girl! Well, you have always been an inspiration to others! The problem with this wedding trip is that two elderly woman (one is the grandmother of the bride) are depending on me to take them.:(

MagicPill.....ditto, that is exactly what we should do, unfortunately, I'm a gullible fool that worries about what everyone says and thinks and can't stop myself.

Shearcourt.......I think this whole situation is a personality trait within us that determines how we handle people. Although, there are times when we need encouragement to say "NO" and that is when others, stronger, like shawnbt, dakota, and youdon'tlooksick are such an encouragement!

Michelle.....good advice! I am blessed with a wonderful husband and boys that are very understanding and they help do all the things I can't, leaving me free to pitter pat around at my own pace and get all the other household duties done.

Y'know, I used to tough it out. Now I let them see my pain and eff 'em if they can't cope. It's not like I can always cope, either, so let 'em see the truth and maybe they'll stop offering inane advice like "Have you tried a heating pad?" Yeah, like I'm too dumb to think of THAT... Whoops, sorry, hit a nerve. Good topic!
BTW Shawnbt, love the avatar! Not a Lions fan (Steelers till I die!) but I love their logo!

im with youdontlook.....i dont tell new people anything unless they ask why i use a cane......otherwise i just go about my day if im at kroger(in the electric scooter)....and do what i can....when someone asks...i give them a fast answer because i dont think they really want to hear my whole ;life story...lol...in the begining i had to tell people because i was so disabled that i needed help cleaning,cooking,caring for kids....my church faMILy took care of all those things...thru the years ive had times where i needed help but wont ask.....i dont want to be a burden...something my two sisters are doing to me roight now is ignoring me....i sent text,fb messages,phone calls....and no reply!!!!!!.....i posted on fb last nite that i was scared bout my daughter and myself and was sad that my family didnt care but that i was thankful my friends cared....well..my older sister responded with "we do care,you just dont tell us except for posting on fb....and she said "i have illnesses too but i dont bother the world(fb)..with my problems"...i thought "what an a%%%......so i replied to her...all my friends responded and spoke badly of what my sis said...ok im rambling...you do what you can...if you cant take a 3 hour ride then dont but if you can...it mite be fun...i would do it as long as i could take rest breaks and my meds
prayers to you all
amy

A friend took me to the ER my junior year of college because I fainted. When the doctor asked what medications I was on I told him I was taking Cymbalta for fibromyalgia. The doctor looked at me and said, "You do know it's all in your head right?" I had never been so angry in my entire life. I can deal with other ignorant people telling me that my illness is all in my head but when a "medical professional" says that it hurts on a whole different level.

Well, Dixe, I was going to say don't go, if you're in a flare. Then when you said you were taking the grandmother of the bride, that threw a kink into it. Are you the only one who can drive her?

I've just been learning that when my body is letting me know it can't do something, then I choose not to do it. If the other people can't or won't understand, then I feel like they're the ones with the problem.

Like somebody else said, life's too short about worrying about what others think.

Let us know what you decide.

I tend to not tell people unless I'm bailing on something, which I rarely do. I tend to force myself to do it because socializing is very important to my sanity and it's not like it's all that often, maybe once a month. I almost always enjoy myself and afterwards, I just crash for a day or two. Sometimes I even schedule time off work in advance knowing I'll need the time to recuperate (rarely take real vacations because I use my time doing things like this). Ultimately though, it's up to you based upon your values. Good luck!

I try to hide it most of the time. But when it comes down to a certain point, I will tell people that I have fibro and am just not up to doing anything right now. Most days I am late for work because I have so much trouble getting up in the morning, but I use my FMLA to cover that. I wish you the best of luck in deciding what you're going to do.