That's a tough question!

I think first you have to fully accept your diagnosis and the limitations that come along with it.

Then, you probably take some time to grieve a little, because the truth is you seem to be burning the candle at both ends, and how much longer do you really want to add this much wear and tear to your body? So be sad for awhile, that there are just some things that can't be done they way you used to do them.

Then, get creative...how can you get things done, and is it super important to get every thing done all the time? Enlist help-husband, kids, neighbors, church folks.

Then find some activities that you enjoy that allow you to rest-movies, books, music...maybe even PT if your Dr thinks it is good for you...maybe try a Fibro support group

That's all I have...I'm tapped out :(

Best, LuLu

Sounds like you need a little vacation away from work AND home! I know when I was working fulltime I couldn't come home and relax because of things that needed tending at home. It's a vicious cycle only broken if I got completely away from everything. My sis and I used to go shopping in a city about 40 miles from home. We would get a hotel room for 2-3 nights and just relax, shop and pick out of the way places to dine. And we didn't spent much money since we both love window shopping but love hanging onto our money even more LOL!! It was fun and restful.

Maybe you could make a list of things that need to be done and only tackle one a day (or every other day). Find what works for you.

Wish I had a solution for you. Many hugs!

Hi,

LuLu and Joyssis have some great ideas for you!

Before I had full-blown, disabling fibro, there was a time when I had full-blown, disabling migraines (could have been fibro, but was dx'ed with chronic migraines). I had migraines 20 - 25 days a month and no medicine would touch them in any way. Neither would massage, chiropractor appointments or acupuncture.

Then came chronic pain counseling.

I learned that my worth is not determined by how much or how well I work. My value is intrinsic, based on my personality and the decisions I make in treating myself and others. Having a clean house or being a great worker does not make me any more or less valuable. Especially if the cause of that is out of my control.

She referenced the Puritan work ethic. I had to research some to understand more what she meant. I have attached a link to an article I found that sums it up pretty well, although the article is not all that well written.
http://www.anxietyculture.com/puritan.htm

When I was able to focus more on intrinsic worth and less on the worth that was being "assigned" me by society (and trust me, there are a lot of people who believe if you can not work then you are not worth much), I found myself to be happier, healthier, less stressed, less anxious, and becoming a more compassionate, loving person.

She made me "sit with myself." Sit on the couch, no distractions (i.e. music, TV, etc.). and work to be calm and relaxed and let go of the thoughts of what needed to be done when they came. Just observe them and watch them slide away.

She also highly encouraged meditation as a way to center and calm myself. Daily meditation practice is a truly valuable technique in reducing stress and anxiety and the constant racing brain. I always mention Jon Kabat-Zinn when I think about meditation because he has a great book, "Full Catastrophe Living," and a great collection of guided meditations on Amazon. I used a 45 minute body scan meditation daily for a long time and finally found peace. He also has shorter guided meditations as well as shorter non-guided meditations using a chime to keep time for you.

Sorry, long post, but these are what broke a lot of my unhappiness in the areas you are talking about, so I thought I would throw it out there.

I know these things don't work for everyone, but there ya go.

Take care.

I TOTALLY understand your post. I think it has to do with personality, one that I share. For me what has worked is to tell myself that I can be busy, doing, and engaged all the time, but that I have to vary the activity so that I alternate between physically active and inactive. For that, the computer and books are priceless. I can sit and read, research, and interact in between dishes, laundry, whatever. It would never work for me to try to change my nature. Laid back, watching long sessions of tv will no work. At least, not for now.

Oh, BPD
If I had only met you when I was 22, you could have saved me 15 years of Therapy.
The concept that every living thing (including myself) having worth simply because it is here and alive took me years to believe (and sometimes I still doubt it!).

Learning to sit with yourself is another skill that took me some practice. Letting thoughts float by as if on a cloud is a useful skill, I can't describe it, but it brings so much calm. and I no longer have to be constantly busy to keep myself away from myself...I am so not explaining that well

I learned am always still learning a particular meditation where you sit and cover your ears and eyes with your fingers to block the outside world. I'm not good at describing the metaphysical, but meditation, and for some deep prayer can take you into deep relaxation that I think can relieve pain.

What's great about the things BPD is talking about is they are free, they do not have side effects, and you get a sense of accomplishment as you get better and better at them, and they let you take an active role in your own health care.

I think BPD explains it way better than me, and I think it would be cool, and I would like to volunteer him
(yep, I just put you on the spot BPD) to perhaps devote an entire post to the subject with a little more detail because it is just that beneficial.

BPD would you? You can cuss me out if you would like, but I think others would be interested...

: o LuLu

Hi LuLu,

If I had met myself now when I was 22, I too could have saved 15 years of therapy.

That said, I will work on expanding the ideas. It will take some time, but I will post as I can.

In the meantime, I realized I left out two of the most important parts of meditation:
1. Controlled relaxation of specific muscles. Meditation, particularly body scan, teaches you to recognize and release tension in specific muscles.
2. Pain tolerance. When you can redirect your thoughts away from the pain, you are able to greatly increase your tolerance.

Controlled Relaxation- Is that when you lay flat and start with your toes and tighten and then relax each muscle group all the way to your head so you learn when you are tensing your body and then how to relax it?

Thanks for agreeing to post a Continuing Ed course on Meditation/Relaxation/Therapeutic Techniques :)

Controlled relaxation - that is not the way I was using it. What I am talking about is similar to the idea they teach with biofeedback - recognizing tension in a specific muscle or muscle group and being able to willfully relax the tension in them.

In meditation, I use a body scan meditation to achieve similar results. I won't go into great detail here but, essentially, with a body scan, you focus on individual parts of your body, identify the sensations in it, breathe with it, and then "release" that part of your body, allowing it to relax completely.

By practicing this meditation regularly, I find I have a greater awareness of the location of tension and am able to isolate and relax those muscles more frequently.

I certainly am not a pro by any means, but it is another tool to try and help.

I have lots of questions!
Maybe we can start a new post or post in one of the sub-categories? I never really understood what biofeedback was.

You are like Yoda, you have much knowledge!

LuLu

thanks for all the comments its nice to know that people understand and im not alone, I know its a work in progress , I will get there one day I hope

Luna x