when i was alittle kid ...i got the warning that my stuff left hanging around would end up in the trash....

and after i found out mom was serious....

i cleaned up my own stuff........

Hun I hear you ...... okay if he don't think you are serious call his bluff ............. tell him either he helps out round the house you are going to advertise for a house mate & draw up the papers for him to sign "accidentally leave a started advert for a house mate lying about ......... hun what is your mom gonna do if she ends up with a carer who is too ill to look after her, cos your brother sure as heck won't ............ I was a single mom held down two part time jobs and cleaned house, cooked home cooked meals for my kids and had fun and spent quality time with them ................ some nights not getting into bed till 1 am when the chores were done, up at 6 am to cook breakfast and get the kids up before biking (summer and winter) to their gramdmoms house 2 miles away then going off to my main part time job 5 days a week Mon- Fri then Fri, sat Sum I worked part time in a local pub from 7 pm till midnight (kids were looked after by another single mom next door (we swapped sitting hours so it didn't cost) ................. so your brother had no excuse that he works full time hun ............... half an hour a days help from him would ease your load

Anything of his left lying around either open his room door and turf it in or throw it in trash

Wished I could wave a magic wand for you hun I really do

one some days one chore takes me down for the day too, some people just don't understand how draining this illness is. just changing my kids dipar is exhausting somedays.

You're in a terrible spot, aren't you? You need his rent, but need him out.. Hard, hard.

I live w/ my hubby of almost 29 yrs, my (almost) 17 yr & 21 yr old sons who've never left home, and currently add my 28 yr old daughter who is pregnant with someone's child she's not 'dating' anymore and brings along a 7 yr old child from someone else. I was raised by my grandmother on the weekends and in the summer, and she was the queen of guilt. When I was younger and working with 5 kids (yes we married 2 off!!!!) I had quite a temper. A yeller - never a hitter. So I've established a fear that has carried on throughout the 10 years of me being unable to do anything.

Now, for me - I get up and spend anywhere from 2 to 5 hrs reading the news, etc. on the laptop (depending on how early I get up); after hubby leaves I bitch and moan about doing the chores. Each day the kitchen and bath get a surface clean and swept; the toys of my grandson and dog get picked up; the house get's a general once over for putting things where they belong; the laundry (2 loads) gets done; I run the cleaner in the 2 rooms with carpet -cats, ugh -; and I start the dishwasher, pull somewith out to defrost. Then I sit down and sleep for about 3 hours, wake up eat dinner my hubby generally cooks and go to bed. Which worked out okay until my daughter expects me to watch my 7 year old grandson. I still sleep and fortunately he's really good about it. I just do it in the livingroom chair. Weekends hubby's really good to me and takes over quite a bit.

If I were in your shoes, and you need his money, I'd concentrate on keeping your room clean. I don't know how big it is but at least YOU'll be surrounded by a clean atmosphere. If it is large enough, invite your mum in to watch the telly or have tea. Maybe between you and your mum you can keep the bath & kitchen rather clean for health reasons and then say screw it to the rest of the home. There's no shame in a messy house when you're not physically able to clean. And your friends should know that. It only reflects badly on your brother.

Oh there've been so many times in my life I wish I could've grown a penis. Even had a hyst. in the hopes one would pop out. But from what I understand, the minute you grow one you lose have your brain.

LOL

My days are similar to dollhouse. I definitely have to do only one thing at a time, take a break and/or a nap, then begin again. It's so hard with Fibro...

Idk what to tell you about your brother...unfortunately it seems he's set in his ways. Maybe raise his rent to cover cleaning costs? ;)

I can only compare it to when my kids were sloppy teenagers. One week I went "on strike". I refused to do any laundry but my own, hid the last two clean bathtowels and socks. they actually wore dirty socks and used 'not very clean' bathtowels. But it worked! They learned to do laundry and clean up after themselves (somewhat). had to remind them once in a while but it really did work.

i also refused to cook till the earlier dishes were done and bought paper plates. One night i just took off and went out to eat, left them home. they couldn't believe I didn't bring them something back. We sure laugh about it now.

PS No one dies from having a messy house. My mom bought me a plaque "Housework never killed anyone but I'm not taking the chance"

Lots of funny and good suggestions here. I pretty much schedule a chore a day. I can't rush and crash and burn. Tried that already. Baby steps and pacing oursleves is the only way to accomplish anything.
As far as your brother goes. I would have buried him in the backyard already. LOL !

I agree with you all. It has been that way for me for a long time. I only get a few things done and some days 1 thing done. When I have to do laundry and haul baskets up and down stairs that totally wipes me out. Vacuuming wipes me out. It's just the way things are. I live alone. House still gets messy. I have 2 cats and the hair mounts up let me tell ya!! LOL :D I just try to straighten things up and take major cleaning as I can. I also can't afford a house cleaner as I am on unemployment. As others have said I have learned NOT to be embarrassed about my house. My family understands if they stop by and that is rare so I just dont stress anymore about it. I also need to lay down for naps or just lay down on the heating pad and rest. You are not alone!

My Answer is Ta Just DO it.
Just get right up and DO it.

Mom can Help...even if just a Bit..

Bro can Most CERTAINLY Do It...or he would be Elsewhere wallowing in his Own Damn Mess..

Just a Few things a Day..don't leave a room without taking something with you that belongs in the room you are going into..

My House goes to Hell in a handbasket when I am Flaring either with FM or Diver-T...but Everyday I do a Bit..then once I am Feeling better I can get after it...otherwise it so completely Overwhelms me that it is actually hard to Start even..

3 years ago my House got so bad...I just could NOT keep up...Everywhere I Looked was a Mess..and it Stressed me MAX..
So Everyday I would work on it for 10 Minutes...rest for 15...did this until the day Finally came that my house was Once again in Order..

Ya cannot just pick 1 Day to do the whole thing...to much for 1 day...just a little bit everyday will get ya back in shape in no time..

Kick ur Bro in the Ass...let him Know how it is gonna go.

I know how you feel. My house is now little piles of clutter. I have a 7 and 9 yo. Thank goodness hubby works away now or it would be worse.

I try to do just one thing per day on the days when I am able to be up. If I just try to hang up my clothes every day when I get ready for bed and then try to do one task such as dusting a room or so, then it seems that I can seem to manage a little better. I did save and get a steam mop, and it works wonders. I have a light weight vacuum that is battery powered. I can use it better than trying to sweep, but I have to get someone to vacuum my carpet with a heavy duty vacuum once a week. I eliminated as much carpet as I could afford to do and it is much easier to keep since the vacuum really makes my pain escalate. Also, I keep vinegar and water mixture and spray my shower each time I shower. This seems to help with cleaning as well as mold and mildew since I can't use household cleaners because of the smell. Also grapefruit seed extract is good to use to clean. Read and study about it if you haven't used it previously. These seem to be the best options for me, but I still can't keep my house as I would like.

That's a tough one bluesun.

sorry that your brother is such an ass, My house is always a wreck too, it's just me and a 15 pound monster cat, She will climb in the dishwasher but won't help me load the dishes into it. If I could only teach her to vacuum.

I have to take a lot of meds to get the pain down enough to even start to try and clean anything at all.

then the fibo fog kicks in and I can't stay on track to get anything done. I was so embarrassed when I had to let the fireman and paramedics in my house this past December when I got carbon monoxide poising, I could see the look on their faces as they looked at all the pile of crap especially in the kitchen.

I hope that things start to get better for you soon, maybe if you put your foot up the bro's butt you can mop the floor with him.

you could try FLYLady. she has a system of cleaning that you adjust to suit what you can do, she suggests cleaning for like 15 minutes at a time. i have heard great things about how her system has helped people withy fibro