Hi Luna,
IMHO you should let him know. While I am not in your relationship after 8 weeks it seems that it is becoming fairly serious. There are some good resources on here for ways to help explain it to him. The Spoon Theory and Letter to Normals are two that come to mind. I know others will have good suggestions for you too. Honesty really is the best policy and if he cares for you enough he will accept it. If not you don't want or need someone who can't handle it. I hope he can and is willing to accept you the way you are. Unfortunately this illness makes itself part of who we are. Hugs... Bonnie.

Hi Luna, I have to admit that Bonnie said everything I could, or would have said. Google those two documents that she mentioned and print them out. Call and explain to him that you are having a flare, and that right now you are not going to be available to go out, but if he wants to come over, and see you at your worst that is ok. Direct him to webmd's report on fibro, it seems to explain things better than anywhere else I've found. Don't be embarrassed to let him see you that way, if the relationship stays together long enough he will see you that way anyway, might as well happen now. That way he is aware of what he is getting into, and can make the decision to keep going, or part as friends. If he decides to stick around, you know you've found a good one. Best wishes, and good luck. Here's hoping you feel better soon.

I always believe honesty is the way to go. I think you need to tell him. Like Bonnie said there are websites with advice of how to tell him. I read "Fibromyalgia for Dummies". There is a chapter in there for loved ones to read. My husband said it helped him understand it better. If this man isn't going to stick by you then it's better to find out sooner than later. I wish you the best of luck!

Good morning luna. Tough call but he deserves to know the truth if this relationship is to go further. If you wait to tell him, he may feel resentful later down the line. Healthy relationships are built on honesty & trust.
Don't cut yourself short. I think if he truly cares for you, everything will turn out ok. Have the lowest pain possible today. Hugs, Dianna

Hello Luna,

Be honest with him for both of your sakes. If he can not handle it, then it is best for you to know it up front. It does not mean that he is a bad guy, if he can't though. It just means that he is honest with you about his limits. Wouldn't you want him to be honest with you?

The "when" of disclosure is tricky, but eight weeks in I think you and he should have a good sense of each other, and it's time for him to know.

I wouldn't paint a picture of gloom and doom, but he should know you have some limitations and that from time to time you're going to have a flare and be more limited than usual.

I agree with the honesty route.

Fibro is nothing to be ashamed of. Just like having cancer, diabetes, or any other disease/disorder. They all are the same in the manner that they impact our lives. And sometimes that impact crosses over and touches those who we love too.

I don't personally think it's whether or not telling your sweetie you have Fibro....I think the way how you treat yourself and him is what matters most.

I also agree with the honesty route.
The longer you wait, the more hurtful it can become for you both if he decides this is something he can't deal with. Which, btw, I don't think makes him a bad person, only someone who knows their limits that probably wouldn't be a good fit for you anyway. Not sure how often you talk/see each other, but unless it's very little I think 8 weeks is long enough to know each other well enough to trust. Really wishing you well with this. Hugs

The sooner the better. You can judge his reaction to it before he feels he has to "hide" it. Honesty is the best policy, and the Spoon Theory is a great way to explain it.

Good luck!

Honesty & up front. I have dated 3 guys since my diagnosis & I think I have told each of them within a few days of the first date (which was after a week or more of emailing & texting. Part of telling them was to explain why dating me might mean more dinners at home especially during the week, why I wear a scarf & gloves 24/7, why I don't drive after a certain time, etc. This was not the deal breaker for any of them. Just had to make some adjustments such as having someone pick me up instead meeting out, etc.

Being honest with myself I totally agree with you which brings me a great deal of guilt among other emotions. My fiancee & I have regular conversations because if I had to choose I would not choose this life. Therefore I just can't understand why anyone else would choose this life for himself & his 2 teenagers. In 6 mths he has seen me go from going to the gym 3-4 times a week, working full time & doing fun stuff with my daughter to now taking 4 pain pills & 2 muscle relaxers a day, barely working 10 hours a week & having to be pushed in a wheelchair to go trick or treating or visit mom in the hospital. It's practically impossible for me to understand but he says he wants to walk through this with me (or push me) & he will be here for me unless I push him away.
Good luck to you !!!