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i needed to vent and also ask some questions here....
he's mad at me again and acts like I started it and I was the asshole.
last night i was channel hoping as usual and came across "The Bachelorette"..... usually i don't like chick flicks or shows like that.... BUT for some reason lately i have been tuning in to some of their shows. and last night they were at the island of MAUI. since i haven't been to the other islands yet, i was curious to see what would be shown.
Matthew came up stairs and notices me watching the show and immediately starts making fun of me saying that "only ditsy teenagers watch that show" and then i said "no... Elaine watches it and she's 61". guess what he said that was sooo condescending?! he says "ok, but she's crazy and has bipolar!" which of course now this spawns one of our STUPID arguments that we have! and since MY MOM is bipolar and LIVES with us, i was HUGELY OFFENDED by this comment.
i told him exactly THAT as my voice started to get louder.... and he says with a calm half smirk on his face "there's no need to get all upset and angry when we could talk about this and settle it in a calm manner." if this happened to you, wouldn't YOU get UPSET??!
and i told him about how he "discounts" everyone i ever mention when we have a disagreement or how he claims that my points/opinions are "irrational" or "have no bases" and that it's wrong for him to do that! and that "right now i have every damn reason to be pissed" at him! he denies doing it as usual and continues to tell me that my point has no basis.
ANYWAYS.... he slept down on the couch, instead of the guest room? *shrugs*...whatever.
this morning he packs a back pack and leaves. to where i have no idea. he gave me some attitude when i asked him and then called me an asshole.
i'm not crazy for being upset, right? and i WAS RATIONAL, right? i just had to ask you all since most of you know how SHORT TEMPERED we can be (having this crap). are we more sensitive to issues do you think? or would any right minded person be pissed about a comments like that?
he's mad at me again and acts like I started it and I was the asshole.
last night i was channel hoping as usual and came across "The Bachelorette"..... usually i don't like chick flicks or shows like that.... BUT for some reason lately i have been tuning in to some of their shows. and last night they were at the island of MAUI. since i haven't been to the other islands yet, i was curious to see what would be shown.
Matthew came up stairs and notices me watching the show and immediately starts making fun of me saying that "only ditsy teenagers watch that show" and then i said "no... Elaine watches it and she's 61". guess what he said that was sooo condescending?! he says "ok, but she's crazy and has bipolar!" which of course now this spawns one of our STUPID arguments that we have! and since MY MOM is bipolar and LIVES with us, i was HUGELY OFFENDED by this comment.
i told him exactly THAT as my voice started to get louder.... and he says with a calm half smirk on his face "there's no need to get all upset and angry when we could talk about this and settle it in a calm manner." if this happened to you, wouldn't YOU get UPSET??!
and i told him about how he "discounts" everyone i ever mention when we have a disagreement or how he claims that my points/opinions are "irrational" or "have no bases" and that it's wrong for him to do that! and that "right now i have every damn reason to be pissed" at him! he denies doing it as usual and continues to tell me that my point has no basis.
ANYWAYS.... he slept down on the couch, instead of the guest room? *shrugs*...whatever.
this morning he packs a back pack and leaves. to where i have no idea. he gave me some attitude when i asked him and then called me an asshole.
i'm not crazy for being upset, right? and i WAS RATIONAL, right? i just had to ask you all since most of you know how SHORT TEMPERED we can be (having this crap). are we more sensitive to issues do you think? or would any right minded person be pissed about a comments like that?
anyways.... he came back before i could ever get home and he was suddenly so nice. he DID see his psychologist today around 1. and he told me he has something for me, it's a surprise...
Sometimes I wonder about men in general..Who cares if you are watchibg the Bachlorette?? I think its funny to watch on ocasion! Some of those women are SOOO crazy..those guys are just after the money they can make..DUH! LOL!
Shawn asks why I watch it, and I tell him it makes me laugh...He doesn't get it, but we have 2 TV's and he CAN go in the other room and watch something else...LOL!
Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.
Hope things work out for you Hugs
he apologized for all kinds of stuff he said. he said he was wrong and stupid and that his arrogance can get in the way....
he bought me a game for PSP for days where i'm at the VA for hrs and mostly just waiting for docs or medicine. it's a game that i really like, and i'm not a gamer. he also got another game for us both to play on PS3 at home.
anyways.... he is currently being treated at the VA for several things, depression being one of them...and also being evaluated for PTSD. he has been thru 2 combat depoyments. one in Afghanistan and one in Iraq.
being that i too am a former Marine, i understand why he can have strange out bursts of anger or sadness. it's also why his language can get pretty ugly. that's the Marine Corps for you.....
otherwise.... he tries to be very supportive of me and my condition. he does most of the house chores and takes me anywhere i need to go if i don't wanna drive. he will do the dishes and the laundry as well (with out me asking).
well... i'm not making excuses for him. he said that he understands that it wasn't nice at all to say such things about people and he won't do it again. i talked it over with my mom about what happened and she still wants us to work it out.
i am very thankful for having you all here.... your support means the world to me. it helped me stay calm while he was gone. it helped me so that my mind didn't go in circles! thanks so much!!
If he trust understands and corrects his behavior, that will be a good thing. But if this becomes a pattern, that's a whole 'nother situation.
I'm glad he IS seeing someone for his issues. Combat definitely leaves emotional scars and they need to be dealt with by a compassionate and knowledgable professional.
he saw his psychologist while he was gone.
i really hope his angry out bursts can get improved. they doubled his welbutrin dosage....so we'll see how it goes. i'll be keepin an eye out.
but that still does not give him lisense to be verbal or physical w/ you & over stupid stuff..
sending blessingfor you both
oxo