Its that what we tell other everyday!
"TAKE OF YOU FIRST " before to up in am & bail friend out of jail! sorry just had to use hat one! lol
or taking care of grandkids when we can't feed ourselves!
WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES FIRST! & YOUR RIGHT PROBLEY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR LIVES!
i REALLY LISTEN TO ALL THE NEGITIVE & POSTIVE RESPONGES I GET FROM MY POST I BELIEVE IT DOES MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON!
SORRY I HIT THE CAP!
Aren't most women care givers= its in our DNA

take care of everyone else first not just so they will love us, but because we love them!
good postthanks 'healing prayers & angels to watch over "US" all
0x0
paula

lol!
probably why men don't have this as much as women do lmao!

Im not sure what the hec is up with this fibro crap ... I know that im a def giver.. think I have always been like that.. its better to give then to recieve.. .. as they say..

I have never liked anyone doing anything for me.. and then when they do.. I feel so awflul.. like I owe them.. and having fibro and disk problems.. and menopause.. man im a mess!!!!...


think its ok to just keep doing what your doin.. we always are going to be the givers.. our brains work that way I guess. big hugs hun.. :)

have also been a giver;can't tell the #of family and friends that have lived with me when they were in a financial bind or needed other kinds of assistance. i also feel like i helped myself right into a holding zone-stuck on stop!actually for awhile it was a nice break but enough is enough. time to get my life back.hopefully savella will get me there. definitely think there may be a common thread there.

I think there are alot of factors involved, personality type may or may not be one of them. I say that because I know many kind and caring people that do not have FMS. We can still be those things and take care of ourselves, but do so within a reasonable limit.

sorry about grabbled message hands hurt to type
Isn't that what we tell others.... everyday!

"TAKE OF YOU FIRST " before yoo get up in am & bail friend out of jail! sorry just had to use that one! lol

or taking care of grandkids when we can't feed ourselves!
WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES FIRST! & YOUR RIGHT PROBLEY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN OUR LIVES!
i REALLY LISTEN TO ALL THE NEGITIVE & POSTIVE RESPONGES I GET FROM MY POST I BELIEVE IT DOES MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON!
SORRY I HIT THE CAP!
Aren't most women care givers= its in our DNA

take care of everyone else first not just so they will love us, but because we love them!
good post thanks

'healing prayers & angels to watch over "US" all
0x0
paula

I think fibromyalgia happens to a lot of women who are givers. I think it takes a toll on our bodies. I don't think you are nuts at all. I think we all need to start taking care of ourselves, too.

It says in the Bible that it's better to give than to receive, but it doesn't say receiving is bad, just that giving brings the greater blessing. However, if you won't receive, you're not allowing someone else to receive the joy and blessing of giving.

This said, I agree bluesun. I think the giving is why we're sick. We overdo because we're looking to please or help someone for whatever reason.

That said, it's really hard for me to let other people do things for me because they can't do them as well. I don't like it when my roommate cooks because he likes to pretend in his mind that he's Emerill or one of those guys, but really, he's just play acting. He has no idea how to really cook and if left to his own devices, I end up having to eat bad food. (he ruins more chicken.)

The worst part is how he expects us to practically have a parade in his honor because he prepared a meal and I've been doing it for 30 years and, well, you can guess the rest. I'm probably just being petty, but I really hate it when I get so sick I can't prepare my meals and have to choke down dry chicken.

I like to get gifts, though, especially on my birthday. The person who takes the time to go out and choose a gift especially for me deserves to be appreciated, so, whatever the gift, I'm just grateful that someone is thinking that much of me, and I let it show so they can get their blessing.

II think we are wired to be givers, I have had to learn on those bad days to ease up on that. hugs

I think I got my Fibromyalgia from having 3 kids in 3.5 years and the middle one was very, very sick. I got no help from anyone so had to do all the running back and forth from hospital etc myself. I had years and years of broken sleep and there was no time for me. I think living on adrenalin for 5 years blew all of my brain chemicals out of whack and caused this.... so I guess giving all of myself to take care of my children, and not bothering about me caused my fibro. I think maybe you are onto something bluesun :)

I'm sure you're on to something here, Blue! Most of us are probably givers. I've had to learn to be on the receiving end once in awhile and I think we need to learn to accept help more graciously.

Unfortunately, it took my divorce to realize that when we're the ones who give continuously and don't get anything in return, we begin to feel resentment towards those we're doing cartwheels for! That resentment may start off slowly but ends up building up into all this negative stress. We all know what that kind of stress does to us all.

The one thing I've heard so many experts say is that we have to take care of ourselves first before we can really do for others in a healthy way. That's especially true for those of us with fibro.

It's probably what has gotten most of us in trouble. Not taking care of yourself first. As women, we are nurturers (sp) and take care of everyone else before ourselves, sorry guys I know there are some guys out there that do this too but women are just wired that way.
Trish I am like you, I feel like I owe them when they do things for me. Stupid isn't it? Since I have been out on disability, I have had to learn the hard way that if I don't take care of me, I will suffer the effects of this disease, but I still end up taking care of everyone first. These lessons are hard to learn LOL

I also agree with you. I really like the book " Five Love Languages". One of the love languages is acts of service- my gift. And it is so hard not to have the energy to do things that I used to do for others.

Well, everyone who's ever flown in an airplane has been told to see to their own oxygen mask before putting one on their child.

But don't you just LIKE giving? It's fun. I don't know why more people don't give it a try. When I help someone, I get a rush of endorphins and feel better about me.

Perhaps that's what's happening to roommate - it's just that by making the bad tasting food, he's NOT helping... Oh me!

lol the roomates chicken! the solution to that is tell him to make gravy too. at least that's what i tell my mom to do, cuz she is like your roomate. everything is dry and either OVER spiced or just bland. but most of the time, it's just plain DRY. so having gravy definitely helps. lol

anyways... my thread here wasn't to say that ALL givers come down with this crap... but that i just happen to notice most of us here ARE givers. so maybe there is a link to it, is all. you know? like life is just trying to tell us to stop and think of our selves now or to LET other people care for us. i know majority of us here aren't wired that way, but we always have to adapt to life's circumstances.

it's hard to accept our limitations.... none of us want this illness. we hate it. we enjoy helping others, i know i always have! if anything, that's probably the reason WHY we hate it so much. cuz we like being independent and we like giving to others.

the hardest part is... having this illness makes us even MORE compassionate! lol. i think it makes us want to reach out to others even more!