Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.
Good morning from the sleeps-an-hour-at-a-time zone.
So I screwed up trying to make clear that I was being stupid and got someone more upset --- not my intent, more stupidity, apparently, b/c I clicked into Medical Nerd mode and just thought "Wow, a cancer that's understood and treatable is way better than this cancer over here my husband has" (let alone Mom's Tumor Scrap that is either going to kill her when it grows into her pituitary or just from all the crap since the tumor was mostly removed)... I know, right? Cancer envy? F**king stupid! I keep thinking I can make it right by explaining but... Feelings are hurt and people are betrayed, and I blew it.
And, frankly, I *am* experiencing cancer envy. Awful, right? But --- and believe me, I know this is not a nice thing, but here I share it with y'all --- some cancers are understood, studied, treatable, have options, and no matter how bad a cancer looks, right now that looks better to me and Hubby than his freaking Waldenstrom's. Even doctors don't know what it is most of the time. His options when it goes active could be very limited. Everyone says he got the "best cancer" .... Well, how about one that doctors know something about and can recognize? We got dumb lucky. And even so... Yeah, something else looks "better". That doesn't mean it is...
So now you know. Ugly-as-f**k puma here. I know. I know. I pray, I hope, I try, but end of the day, I have the fear only knowledge can help assuage, and not even the specialist knows. WTF do you do when even the specialist has no idea what to tell you but "hope you stay lucky"? Seriosly, that's what we get. No ideas on causes or research on odds or treatments or anything. Just... Good luck and hope you stay lucky.
Lost a friend here on DS over this, but I'm gonna be honest: I'm losing my damn mind and soul every day in real life.
Latest on my mom? The pitying look. From, in this order: The neurosurgeon, the neurologist, the endocrinologist, and the cardiologist. Yeah. *that* look. Where they want to say, "She's under a pile of serious disorders so deep there's no seeing daylight," but they can't, in case we sue them.
Latest on my husband? "We need another look at the skin growth because the cells were abnormal in a different way." WTF is "abnormal" in a "different way"?! And so I got, "Because of his Waldenstrom's, we need to be certain of the type of cell to be certain this skin cancer isn't really the Waldenstrom's." Oh good. Cancer hopscotch?
Yeah, I'm in a bad way an dmade bad decisions on how I worded things trying to be supportive and coming off as an ass. And that's that. I unfriended the other person to just get out of there before I make anything *worse*. Enough shit going arouhnd, y'know? Thing about failed apologies is... after one, you usually aren't gonna do any better. My bad, I know it, but what can I say? Truth sounds as bad as any excuse. "Cancer envy"...
It's like this surreal world where you envy people who have a high rate of survival with treatment even tho' it's a lethal cancer (duh, all cancers can be) b/c you got a cancer with a lot of question marks before it kills you. Like it's any better to know. OK, I find it easier, but that's *me*... The rest of the world is *sane*.
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Guess I should've titled this Confessional Friday...
Anyway... I'm gonna bow out for the weekend. See y'all Monday. Hpooefully some part ofmy head will be outta my ass by then.
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We're all troubled.WSo, to remind ourselves we're not at rock bottom (this is a reverse optimism thing I learned as a kid):We are not living on the island of Krakatoa when the volcano goes boom!Yeah, okay, that sucks.***Toay in 1942, Pierre Laval announced that the way to free France was for Germany to win WW2. Pierre did not win a lot of friends. When the war ended, quite quickly he was tried...
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Another day, another ouchie?My bruised achilles tendon (don't ask) makes my foot numb. Wonky on meds, whacked it.Now, as to fibro:A lot of reports are going around some parts of social media that fibro (and dang near anything else) are caused by post-Covid, post-flu, post-vaccinations, post-pick-something.1. Your risk of death or serious complications beyond "ow, that shot hurt!" are typically...
I got to sleep in again today, we have appointments from 12-3 today at work so my manager told me I can come in at 12. I'm going to leave Miki at home today and see how she does. I also want to spend time with Nox, he's hiding again now that the door is open but he's a little braver this morning. He didn't care until he came face to face with Miki last night and she yipped playfully and pawed at the glass. She didn't really do anything wrong, but it freaked him out and I couldn't get him into the open much when the door was open. But once I close it he comes right out. We'll get there eventually. Anyway, I need to go make breakfast and start my day, hugs to everyone
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through so much. I can't offer much except the standard advice...try not to worry about things that you can't change (I know, that advice doesn't work for me either). I hope you find some peace today.
Miki,
Glad to hear that you were able to sleep in! Between pain, worry and Spartacus, I haven't been sleeping much more than 5-6 hours per night. One of these days I'll crash..and maybe wake up in a better mood. Sending ((((hugs)))) back.
I did a lot of lifting of "stuff" after work yesterday and was paying the price before bed. My back got wack before I hit the sack (my best Kanye to Trump sentence)....almost to the point that I couldn't stand up....which led to little sleep which will lead to a long day and so on, and so on. As a lot of you, I seep to be in the loop of no escape lately, BUT, I think we're all ready to jump off. Sorry about the ranting of a sleepy Suomalainen brain (or lack there of).
Hope you find something to laugh about today,
Kel
Miki, I'm glad your going into work later. I hope you have a great day and get ahead on your weekend stuff so you can enjoy the weekend more. I would love to have every Friday off from work just to play catch up at home.
Kel, definitely some of your greatest work, thanks for the laugh this morning. I hope your back gets better and your weekend isn't spent down from the pain. I hope everything else is manageable for you.
Angela, I'm praying today goes much better than you think. I'm sorry you are struggling so much today.
I have a busy weekend and I don't want to do any of it. Today I have therapy, going to get cupcakes, drop my Jeep off to find out what's wrong with it, and then dinner with my husband. Tomorrow morning the girls have a teeth cleaning at 10am and I'm dreading it. It's at dental depot in Yukon and they have a small train that takes the kids around. This was the best time for train rides otherwise I wouldn't have scheduled it early like that. Well now the temps are supposed to be in the 40s tomorrow morning and raining. I hope it's not raining because the girls were really looking forward to this.
I already left a message for my neurologist this morning about my migraines. I'm wondering if there is something else to take because I had to take Sumatriptan again last night and it really made my neck and jaw tight and increased the pain from my neck up for about an hour. I felt like I was having a stroke or something.
I'm still waiting impatiently for blood test results from infectious disease.
I hope everyone has a good Friday and weekend.
Kel, yeah, it's ... *hugs*
Miki, I get that, b/c there's "Oh, poor thing" for cancer, but for psych stuff it's, "Well you're a wimp" or similar. Ugh.
Angela, no worries from me, just hang on and breathe, okay? We're here.
Sorry I spouted here. I just.. Well, y'know... ou start wonderin gif you're nuts. And I'm back solely b/c Hubby said, "Are you *sure* you posted a check-in?"... And I was so tired I wasn't ssure!
Leo - You tried to help. That's what matters. We are all human and sometimes we don't say things exactly the right way. You are not a bad person. Your intentions were good. You apologized too. Maybe once your friend is calmer they will see that you were not trying to upset them. Let it go because holding on to this situation is not healthy. You've got enough stuff going on. Hugs and self care via gourmet chocolate by the boatload.
It is freaking cold here today and the parts of the lower peninsula got snow last night. Meanwhile, the pump is running on my pool.... This is week 4 of CBD oil. It's definitely a keeper. On a day like today, BCBD (Before CBD) I would be just miserable because of my back. It's mildly cranky and that's it. Overall, I feel that I can function better, sleep better and leap tall buildings... well you get my drift. Today's dilemma is deciding just how much cleaning that I actually *want* to do. I did finally manage to finish building one of the tables that I was working on yesterday. I'm doing the other one today and now that I actually comprehend the directions, it should be easier.
Miki - I hope that your dog does OK staying home by herself. Nox sounds like he is doing pretty well under the circumstances. They will all adjust to each other as time goes by. Sleeping in is always a nice thing to do. I usually stay in bed on the weekends until Noon if I can. Wallowing around in my bed burrito and reading, napping or just fermenting is nice. Have a good one!
Hi Kel - Wasn't that Kayne Trump fest the worst thing ever!!?? Someone is clearly off of his meds and someone else needs to be on some. I'm sorry that your back is giving you trouble. I hope that you can just relax even a little bit this weekend. You deserve it and you can tell Gin that I said so!
AngelaJo - There is nothing wrong with asking for help with an uncomfortable situation. I sometimes turn to my sister or brother for help with things that I don't feel that I can manage. Because we are so tired all of the time finding the right words and just being able to express yourself clearly can be difficult. I hope that you get what you need at PT. When you get home, get into your recliner and just chill for a while. Hugs!
Twin - As usual, it appears the you need a clone. I wish my dentist had a train to drive me around before and after my appointment. Or, a tranquilizer dart gun...I digress. I hope that your neurologist has some ideas about changing your migraine med. Your reaction to it sounds pretty scary to me. Get a cupcake for moi while you are at it. Hugs and eleventy million Hallmark movies headed your way.
Back to reality - cleaning, laundry, world peace and so on. Shout out to Bear, Blue, Wonder, Eanid, Pam, JP, Ida (hope you are OK), Milily, Zombie, Autumn, Susan and PuppyMom. I will check back later.
It's hard to believe it's Friday again, the weeks are flying by. Next thing you know, it'll be Thanksgiving.
Leo, you have a lot on your plate and there's been a lot for quite some time... so don't beat yourself up. 1st about the prayer and now these friends. You're doing the best you can. I think it's OK for you to pull back a bit including from these friends. People should / will be understanding. You can always pick up the friendship at a later time when things have settled down. I hope you do something fun / nice for yourself this weekend. The caretaker deserves to treat themselves every once in a while for all the work the do, don't you agree?
Hubby got up at 5 am to go catch some surf this morning. But if I need his help around the house? He'll make sure to sleep in till noon. (rollseyes)
A couple of friends of ours have invited us to come stay at their place tonight while they take their kids camping. They offered us a break from the jungle and we can also use their laundry machines too. Yay, clean laundry! So, I have to pack this morning and make sure I have all my meds.
I had the worst stomach ache yesterday. It was like hell parked itself in my gut, I wanted to curl up and die. I would have stayed home (cancelled horse therapy) but they turned off the water to switch out the water pump. Plus, the water pump is behind the bathroom and our bathroom is semi outside with half walls.... no privacy with those people! It was best to take my sore a** out of the house and leave. It was a very awkward and uncomfortable day for the 2nd time in a row... I was to the brink of tears.
Today besides laundry, I have to study for my final. I also need to catch up in computer class.
Tomorrow evening the VFW is holding a luau. I look forward to it.
Miki, sending special hugs to Nox ... and I hope your pup does alright while you're gone.
Kel, LOL. I haven't seen the Kanye clip but everyone is talking about it so it must be either really good or really awful. Sorry about your back pain. I hope it eases up and you can get some rest again. I hate it when my sleep is all messed up... then it messes up everything else.
Angela, I hope things are going well and PT isn't so bad. Have you told them you can't work with her? Have you asked for a specific person? I hope your day turns out well.
Twins, I hardly ever take sumatriptan unless I don't have a choice because of the tight jaw and neck side effect. It sucks. I'm sorry it's not working for you either. I asked the VA for something else but that's all they have for me. I hope your neurologist can find you something else. Also that the dental appointment for the girls goes well without much trouble. I hope the heat is fixed in the jeep too.
Leo you were trying to help not hurt. I know because I know you. Try not to let you spiral into a dark place. You apologized and now you need to stop beating yourself up. Take a break, take a walk, take a breath. I am sure in time this friend will see that you didn't mean to upset them.
Miki I am glad you get to go in later today. It has been so busy for you and you really need a break. Your little buddy will come around and soon be zooming through the house.
Twins I hope the teeth cleaning goes well and you are able to rest. I hope the doctor can help with the migraines. I hope you enjoy the cupcake.
Angela you are stronger than you believe. Just look at all you have accomplished. I hope your day goes better than you expect. I am glad that you have your mom to help.
Kel I hate that your back has to be such a pain right now. I hope it settles soon.
Fantod I am glad the cbd oil is helping you. I have found it to be a lifesaver when my fibro and RA gets too much to handle. I don't take it all the time like I should because it is so expensive here.
I am so relieved my cousins are ok. My partner has been working almost constantly for the past two weeks. Last week she did 99 hours and this week isn't looking any better. I am just waiting on the total burn out. It's not like she wants to but she has to right now. I worry about her health. I am also dealing with a family situation which is making things even harder for me to keep my sanity. My sister's son walked out on his gf and baby. My sister is beside herself and all I can do is try to support her. I am so overwhelmed and praying for a break. I need just one day of peace. My fibro is in full gear and my RA has been rearing it's ugly head as well.
I hope you all have a great day. Find a moment of peace and hang on.
Shout out to all that follow.
Autumn, I'm glad you got a hold of your cousins and they are OK. When we had a cat 5 heading for us not too long ago, everyone I knew was freaking out too. And not having cell reception here only made their anxiety worse. But you have to remember that places like Florida (and Hawaii too) are used to dealing with hurricanes so we know the drill, how to prepare, evacuate, etc., and everything is usually alright. I'm sorry about your partner... she really needs a break.
Fantod, yay for CBD oil. Brrr ... reading your post gave me a chill, I don't know how you folks deal with winter. Nope, not this wahine (gal). *shivers*. Good luck with the cleaning and thanks for the shoutout.
Fantod, I'll get us cupcakes. :-) I really wish I could have a cupcake party and invite all of you. I'm so glad the CBD oil is helping you. What place are you ordering it from? I have just had no luck with it, but praise God you have. And I like the idea of a tranquilizer dart gun at the dentist, or really at any and all of my appointments and then a ride back home. hehe.
Blue, yay a break from the jungle. And yes Jason can get up early for himself and never for us. I'm so sorry your stomach was killing you yesterday, and that you still got out of the house like that due to everything else going on. I really wish you were back at your old place. I really hope today is calmer for you and that you have a nice time at your friends house. Good luck studying and keeping it all together. I'm thinking about you. And thank you!
Autumn, I'm glad your cousins are okay and that you are there for your sister. That is hard to deal with. And I"m sorry you are stuck there alone quite often with your partners hours at work. I think it's probably harder on you than it is her. At least she stays busy with work while you are stuck in pain not getting to do anything you want to do. Hang in there.
Cold and dreary here. I am thinking about throwing something in the crockpot and diving back in bed. I have not heard from the guy about coming and giving me an estimate for the toilet /sink faucet , not sure if I should give up for today. He was going to call if he finished the job he was already doing today got completed.
What I thought was just allergies seems to be the start of a cold/virus and I feel yucky. That will teach me to go to the Dr and go out in the public for errands.
My neck and upper back are so tight and painful. The upside of the cold weather is I can use heat on myself and not sweat and get too hot. : )
Have a decent night.
Leo, please don’t worry about the friend. You meant nothing mean.
I read everyone’s posts. I care about everybody’s pain and other troubles. I just have very little time to post.
Our new grandson was born late on the 10th. All went well with both mother and baby. He was 7lbs 15oz 20 “ long. Beautiful baby.
Hubby and I have been watching the 6 yr old and 2 yr old. For 3 days. I am exhausted and at a pain level of about 8. Parents and baby are coming home tonight. I have been doing cooking, cleaning, and laundry. My hubby pretty much keeps the little ones occupied. I would really be crazy in pain without him.
I am glad we were here to help. I just wish the fibro wouldn’t get in the way. This week has showed me how bad off I am.
Blessings all around.