sorry you are having such a rough day.

call hubby and talk to him....

try doing the yoga AND breathe correctly, may help this awful time pass.

good luck.

I'm so very sorry for all that u are going thru. I understand your pain. But talk to him and see where his head is. But no matter what he says he is not worth losing your life for. I'm here if need to talk.

Spacegirl....Awwwwhhhh honey my heart is breaking for you. What an awful thing to have found, not to mention the speculations that are whirling through your head and heart right now.

Please take Polly and Mom2's advice and call him. Try to talk with him in a manner that is based on your confusion and worries instead of anger though, if you can.

If you talk to him about your worries instead of accusing him of something, you may receive answers instead his defensive wall shooting up around himself.

I walked in and found my husband chatting on facebook with an old, old girlfriend. When I walked up to his shoulder I could see that he was telling her how hard it was to deal with me having this chronic illness. the changes to our lives and the extra work and worries that have now been placed on his shoulders.

I was mad at first talling my life story to someone I didn't know. His response was that he needed someone to talk to as well. Someone to whom he could vent all his build up anger and frustrations.

I realized that, yeah ok, that made sense. He was/is affected by my illness just as much as it affects me but I a different manner. It's had to watch someone you love suffer in pain and he felt useless and afraid.

In the end I realize that I was just waiting for that shoe to drop for him to leave me because who in their right mind would want to spend the rest of their days with someone so needly for so much, yet has little in the ways of physical comfort to give back.

I was waiting for him to cheat because I didn't give him enough credit to be able to keep his pants on when I wasn't able to take my off (if you are getting my grift). He just needed someone to talk to. A sounding board that was not involved in our lives together. His counsler of choice was a friend.

Maybe that is what is going on with your hubby. Give him a chance to explain. I'm keeping you both in my prayers and if you need someone to talk to I am hear.

Hugs, hugs, hugs,
Deb

I don't know what to say other than NO man is worth what you are going through. You may be sick with fibro but you are still a valuable human being. Stand up for yourself and realize your value! God loves you just the way you are! Don't let someone else's actions make you feel less than the incredible, wonderful woman He created.

We are all behind you and will be here if you need a shoulder.
Hugs and prayers,
Donna

Thank you all for you replies. It is nice to know some one cares, my depression wants me to believe there is no one who cares - so you all have helped me alot.

I wish I could call him but India is 10.5 hours ahead of us. It is now just 5:30am tomorrow morning. So I guess I will have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him.

I was late on my depression meds this morning and getting real tired... it is like things were ganging up against me.

I took a nap and that seems to have helped my emotions a little, but now the headache and muscle cramps are starting. I just keep telling myself, "everything is fine, there is a logical reason for the texts and emails"

...does he have life insurance?

Sending Hugs and Prayers that everything works out and you feel better soon.

I'm so sorry - been there so I have some idea how hard it is right now. I do agree that you need to call him and talk to him - just try to keep your emotions in check until you are sure what's going on. Most wives develop a "spider sense" and know when they're being lied to, and sometimes it's actually easier on the phone because most people can't control the little signs in their voice that tell you they're lying - hesitation - stories that sound too "pat" to be real - listen - you'll know.

Yes people do care about you - probably more people and more caring than you know right now. No matter what you're going through you can probably find a couple of people here who have some experience with it and will listen and understand.

And for the record, I'm with unduki - does he have life insurance? :)

I would be furious and be kicking his butt all the way BACK to India!

There is NO reason, especially to discuss YOUR personal business with any other woman.

Starting over could be a blessing. You could meet someone who values you and respects you. I'd be keeping all the phone bills and emails and giving them to a trusted friend.

Hello SpaceGirl63,

I am one of very, very few men who posts here on the FM support group forum. Ive read over the replies you have received about your problem. Yes, I will admit that what you have uncovered doesnt look good at all. What I also see posted here is some advice where your husband is instantly guilty without really knowing the whole truth! Debra49659 has given you the best advice listed here. It is level headed and you would do well to follow her advice.

You need to know what the real truth is and dont jump to conclusions based on suspicions only. Hey, my ex left me so I know how it feels to be dumped. I really do feel for you because when you are already dealing with FM/CFS symptoms, you dont need to be facing anything else. I really hope it turns out for you like it did in debra49659s case. Also, I would really encourage you not to do anything drastic and end up doing something you may regret later.

Take care,
Randy

Oh dear, with all your poor body is going through, this is the last thing you need to have to deal with. I agree don't jump to any conclusions. And certainly no one is worth ending your life over, absolutely no one! Talk to him OR see if you can get transcripts of the texts. When you read the emails you didn't say if they revealed anything. I think he would know you would see and question why her number would be there. So have some patience and don't let anxiety sneak up on you. I pray all will be well, take care my friend.

I have always said if your a woman having problems with your husband DO NOT discuss it with a man(asking for trouble right there)
same goes for if your a man having trouble with your wife DO NOT talk to a woman(your opening a very dangerous door).
I would definitely calling him,does he not have any men friends to talk to?
you should never put yourself in this position when you are married,its to easy to go down the wrong road. Your in my Prayers,Please talk to him right away and let him no that this is unexceptable!!

Wow, there is such great wisdom here. Thank you all for your support and prayers.
I did get to talk to DH today, at first he was angry and said that I dont trust him. But by the end of the conversation he told me I had every right to question him about this. Apparently she is going thru some tough times, her hubby has moved out and is filing for divorce. DH said he was just trying to be a friend and she was the one that initiated the contact. At first, my reaction was well of course she called you, she wants to pick up where you left off. But that is just my little green monster lashing out again.
I read and reread all of your posts, something kept coming back up find out the truth, dont jump to conclusions. I truly want to believe everything DH said. So how do I act now, I dont want all this negativity in my life. It stresses me out, drains me, and makes me hurt all over.
Lucky made a great point, men should talk things over with their male friends and women should talk things over with their female friends. This gave me a great idea, I am going to call her and let her know DH told me of her situation and offer to be a supportive friend. The way I see it, it is much harder to sneak around behind someones back if they are your friend. Besides it feels better to try and help her than it does to want to hate her. I think I have more energy if I help.
So I ask for your prayers of peace and understanding as I endeavor on this unique adventure
{{{HUGZ}}} to all

Spacegirl I think that is great but I don't think you need her all that much in your life no more than in his. I don't remember you saying how long yall have been married, but I bet he's not dumb which means he knew you would see their calls. If he had something to hide he could have a whole seperate phone. Don't be to quick to give up a marriage if you feel it's worth fighting for.Prayers and hugs coming your way!
PS Don't let her know you had untrusting thoughts. She may not be trustworthy.

It is good you have a hubby to talk to, maybe he is having a rough day and has no idea how to help you. Men have to be told what to do to help, you can't give them a signal and think they know what you need. I have had to train my boyfriend to get me certain things when I am in pain, fibro fog and can't remember anything, and tell him exactly what to buy when I need certain food for my leaky gut syndrome that digests easily and is soft and pliable. Popcorn is the worst so far! I love it so much, just like chocolate, but they say the things you most crave are probably what you are allergic to. Hopefully hubby will realize that he can't treat a super nice and sweet person like you like he can do anything with other women and expect you to be calm about it! he is making your condition worse, please try not to stress, when I do this I go into fibrofog and do irrational things. How long have you been married? Was he understanding about your disease when he is home? do you have a group of friends nearby that you can hang with? xo :) best wishes!